Kokoro wo Hiite
by RukiaKuchiki926
Summary: "Play the heart" Story of a young woman from Inuzuri who falls in love with man above her rank. One idea of the past of Hisana and Byakuya.
1. Solo

Hisana sat on the stone in the meadow, singing her baby sister softly to sleep. She rocked her lightly as she glanced at the shack a hundred meters away. The light was out now, but Hisana knew an elderly lady lived there. That lady had recently lost her adopted grandchild to a Hollow that the Shinigami had conveniently overlooked. That is, they noticed only once the little girl was murdered. Hisana shook her head, _'But really...they ought to care more about these day-to-day survival districts. Damned Inuzuri is lost to them...and the other latter 40 districts,'_ she thought, sighing. But this elderly woman...perhaps Hisana was foolish to think the lady would rise up to caring for Rukia, but...

Rukia was snoozing peacefully now, asleep and content, as was to be expected - Hisana had fed her the remainder of their bread and water, which she had intended to spread over a long few weeks. But_... 'I can find food on my own. Rukia needs someone to do it for her,'_ Hisana pondered blankly, stroking the baby's feathery soft black hair_, 'She eats so much...she must have at least some reiatsu.'_ That was one of the few comforts Hisana found in this idea to leave the infant. A comfort...and a woe. More reiatsu meant more food, and food wasn't always easy to get. But this old woman...she had a small job to get her by. She had scraps to eat, and her aged heart welcomed children, though scorned adults. And when Rukia was older, maybe she could be a shinigami herself...and change things.

_'What in Seireitei's name am I thinking?'_ Hisana scolded herself, shaking her head. Rukia sighed in her sleep, clinging lightly with her tiny fingers to Hisana's forefinger. Hisana smiled as a stream of salt water sprung from her eyes, and she leaned down to kiss the baby's forehead, clutching her close before gently placing her in front of the stone, "I love you, Rukia...I'm so sorry," she choked, before taking off, running as fast as her wasted legs could take her.

* * *

><p>When the old woman woke up to a baby's desperate wails, and ran outside to see the charming baby girl, and picked her up as if she were her own, caressing her with love, she would find a letter inside the baby's blanket:<p>

_Hajimemashite, Obaa-san_

_ My name is Rukia. My sister has lost the ability to care for me. Please, Obaa-san, take care of me. Please._

"Please..."

* * *

><p><em>30 years later<em>

Sleep, walk, eat, sleep.

Sleep, walk, eat, sleep.

Such was the life of a young woman in Rukongai, alone, and with no intended destination.

Hisana stood outside a building in the run-down 76th district. There was no plaque bearing a name for the two-story, wooden-beamed, shingled excuse of a house. It did have an old piece of wood painted to look like a plum blossom above the doorway, so that's what people called it: the _Ume_. This was, for all fake intents and false purposes, a teahouse. Needy, pretty, young women were taught how to pass as a crude excuse of a _geisha_. Every one was a shameful imitation of the dignified, beautiful artists.

_'No one here is a __geisha__,'_ Hisana reminded herself, feeling her morale dip even lower,_ 'If I'm being honest with myself, this is nothing more than a mild-mannered brothel.'_

Even though she stood here, wanted to work here, she not want to be the expected brand of employee - she wasn't desperate enough to sell herself that way. Yet. She just wanted a back job: a cook, a maid, an errand girl. Just something harmless and safely in the background. Because that's where she always was: the background.

And she liked it there.

_'Standing here will do me no good,'_ Hisana sighed, edging towards the door, _'The sooner I ask, the sooner I get my answer. Even if I get turned away again.'_

But as she was about the cross the threshold, she noticed the instrument outside the door, collecting dust and age. It was a _koto_. An old one, but the 13 ivory bridges, the _ji_, and the 13 yellow, silky strings were intact. The finger picks were placed under the middle strings, surprisingly intact and, more surprisingly, not stolen. And the wood it was carved of...this was clearly well-taken care of, and an expensive instrument at that. It was so beautiful.

Hisana froze. How did she know so much about the instrument? Being so valuable, she had obviously never, ever seen one in the Soul Society. So...

_'I must have played this when I was human...'_ Hisana mused, sitting down on the thread-bare cushion behind the _koto_, placing her fingers on the taut strings. She inhaled contentedly, absorbing an odd amount of satisfaction and peace from the smooth fibers. Of their own accord, her fingers bent strongly, on particular notes. Hisana frowned, _'Maybe...I haven't forgotten?'_

Hesitantly, she put the three picks on her thumb, index, and middle fingers. Bending forward, she pushed the 3rd string down with her left hand. She placed her right thumb on the 3rd string, and her index and middle fingers a few strings above, ready the strum. She sucked in a breath, leaned forward, and plucked the strings her fingers caught, ready for the sweet, high pitch.

Instead, she immediately recoiled, cringing at the dissonance the wrong notes caused. She tried again, but frantically stopped the vibrations when the notes were so bad to knock a dog dead_. 'I'm thinking too hard_,_'_ she determined, closing her eyes, taking another deep breath, and gently taking the strings beneath her fingertips again.

She hummed a note to herself quietly, and brushed her right hand towards her. This time, the notes were beautiful, and her fingers somehow knew which strings to press down, and which to merely tap. The cadences, the flourishes, the ornamental grace notes, her fingers knew them all and put them in their place. She felt herself sway her head in time with the soothing melody, her elbows even having a rhythm to accent the music, conducting herself, despite their busy work in guiding her fingers. A small smile lit up Hisana's face - she hadn't felt a peace like this in years.

Hisana didn't know how long it took her to finish the song, but when she pulled from the suspension to the final chord, she opened her eyes, glancing up quietly, and choked back a scream.

Around her was a small audience. There were some elderly women and men, a few wide-eyed, slack-jawed children, and even some people her age. In the doorway of the _Ume_ stood an open-mouthed, middle-aged woman, and there were much younger women looking out the windows of the building.

Blushing vividly, Hisana snapped her hands back to her lap, bowing her head. The woman in the doorway broke out of her shock and turned wildly to the spectators, "The hell do you all think this is, a charity show?! Get the hell out before I knock you out!"

The young adults and children quickly scatted, while the elderly walked away, tsk-ing the woman's brazen language.

"And you!"

Hisana jumped, startled, quickly bowing to the woman so low on her knees that her face was almost in the dirt.

"What in Seireitei's damned name d'you think you're doing?!"

"_Mooshiwake gozaimasen_!" Hisana cried, not lifting her face, "I only saw the _koto_, and I thought it was familiar, and I wanted to try and play a litt-,"

"A little!" the woman yelled. She gripped Hisana's arm, lifting her up, and guided her roughly through the door, "Come with me!"

* * *

><p>The next thing Hisana knew, she was sitting in a quaint little office, with a chipped cup in front of her, warm steam rising from the tea.<p>

"So what you're telling me is...you have no place to go, you aimed to work here, even though you don't wanna be one of the girls. And you, by the way, are the prettiest girl I've seen in these damned districts. Figures," the woman snorted, reclining in her pile of worn cushions.

Hisana shifted uncomfortably, "_Hai_. That is...I just...I have a sense of...I mean, I have ideals that I just don't want to break...I'm sorry for bothering you. I just thought it would be worth asking once." She bowed her head, not wanting to cry in front of a total stranger. Damn her luck! Tears were once called a woman's weapon by a poet in the World of the Living, but to use them against a woman? That _never_ turned out well.

"Well, you're hired."

Hisana looked up, floored, "P-pardon?"

The woman shrugged, "You want the job or don't you? For the love of Seireitei...well, here's the offer. You play that old piece of wood out there for us, and I'll give you food and board and all that."

Blinking, Hisana bowed low again, this time her nose actually touching the rotting _tatami_ mats, "_Hai_! It would be an honor!"

"Meh, formalities. So you have a name or what?" the woman asked, sitting up straighter.

"It's Hisana. What may I call you?"

The woman thought a moment, "Huh. No one's asked me that before. I guess you could call me what the rest of the girls do: old hag, bitch, Auntie Hell..." She laughed at Hisana's horrified expression, "I'm not serious! Sort of. Call me Chitose-ba-san. Everyone does."

* * *

><p><em>It went on like that for months. Hisana would wake up on an old futon every morning at dawn, eat a small breakfast of rise and occasionally vegetables, and she would do menial chores, errands, and tasks all day until sunset. At that point, customers would start trickling into the <em>Ume_, and it would be Hisana's job to sit outside and play the _koto_ to lure the passerby inside, like moths to a flame. The noble appearance and sound of the instrument gave the illusion that the _Ume_ was just as dignified, which wasn't entirely true._

_ But either way, Chitose-ba-san provided Hisana with meals to eat, a bed to sleep on, and a path upon which to walk - it was more than she'd dared to hope for. Still, she couldn't help but notice how the _Ume_'s appearance was becoming less and less run-down with the new popularity Hisana was bringing. She assumed this meant an increase in money, therefore causing her to guess that the fake teahouse had in fact been poor to begin with. She supposed it must be the decrepit state of Rukongai that had deceived her, which once she considered it, wasn't so much of a surprise._

* * *

><p><em>One year after her arrival<em>

"Hisana."

Hisana looked up at Chitose, tilting her head questioningly, "_Hai_?"

Chitose rubbed her neck, a nervous habit Hisana was used to, "Well, I've got a request for you," she shook her head, "This year's been great with your help. You've really taken us out of hell. But you see, I had this idea last week, that maybe we can do more."

Hisana frowned, messing with the finger picks she was already wearing, "I'm sorry if my work has displeased you, ba-san."

"Nah, that's not it. I mean, let's get you a better audience, is all! People who can actually appreciate the music you play, not these dogs around here."

"Ba-san, I don't know who you me-,"

"The hell you don't!" Chitose flared, throwing her arms up, "I mean the bastards in the Seireitei!"

"The shinigami?" Hisana asked, skeptical.

"Hell no. They're too busy drinking and dying to care about the gold you play. I mean the _nobility_." She said 'nobility' like it was the worst insult she could conjure.

Hisana gaped at her, jaw dropped, "That's not possible! I can't play well enough to-,"

"Shut your face and listen," Chitose snapped, leaning against the door frame, "Whether you think you're good enough don't matter. _I_ say you are, so you are. Besides, there's a noble on his way, so you go and get that _koto_ inside. I'll grab one of the girls to help you. And change into this." Chitose removed a package from under her arm, handing it to Hisana.

Hisana frowned, confused, but bowed respectfully before going inside and closing herself in the dressing room. She carefully undid the strings tying the paper wrapping closed, and peeled it aside to see an old _kimono_.

It wasn't anything special - a frosty blue with a faded midnight blue _obi_. But it was certainly more presentable than her weathered, ripped flower pattern that she'd worn every day of her life in Soul Society. Not to mention it was her first real taste of a luxury, outside of the _koto_.

As she slipped the purple robe off her shoulders and pulled on the blue, she thought about what Chitose had gotten her into. Hisana didn't _want_ to play for nobles. That meant being in the spotlight, and that's the last place she wanted to be. What's more, she'd heard intimidating rumors about the Shinigami and nobility in Seireitei. They didn't care about the impoverished souls starving every day. They carried on their perfect lives, in their perfect houses, with their perfect families, in their perfect, peaceful city.

At least, she'd been told that.

Hisana folded her clothes and put them in the corner before leaving the room and kneeling on knees outside the office door, "Ba-san?"

"Ah!" Hisana jumped at how uncharacteristically lively Chitose suddenly sounded, "Yes, come in, come in!"

Hesitant, Hisana opened the door to see her guardian with her hair brushed until it shone, her kimono straightened modestly, and an excited blush in her cheeks. Across from her on the other side of the room was a man dressed in formal-looking men's _kimono_ of dark green. He had one of those shinigami swords (What were they? _zanpaku-_to?), and odd hair pieces on the side of his head. He wasn't old, but he looked like he hadn't slept in days, and there were lines on his face. Nonetheless, he was neat and sat rigidly.

"Hisana-chan," (Hisana had to use every ounce of her will not to snort at the girly tone - Chitose _never_ used '_chan_') "Hisana-chan, this is Kuchiki-sama, one of the members of the most noble Kuchiki familiy. He's the son of the head of the family."

Hisana bowed as deeply as possible, "It is an honor to meet you, Kuchiki-sama."

The noble wasted no time, bowing his head only slightly, but smiled at her in a tired way, "I am told you are accomplished at the _koto_."

Hisana sat straighter, but still remained in a respectful half-bow, "Please sir, I'm a girl of little talent." Technically, she was a woman, not a girl, since she was approximately the physical age of 18, but she figured it was best to humble herself as much as possible.

"I suppose we'll see, won't we?" he asked, gesturing to the _koto_, suggesting she should play.

Hisana scooted into position, shakily putting the picks on her fingers, "Do you have a request, Kuchiki-sama?"

The man thought a moment before glancing at the window behind Chitose, "This season has brought beautiful _sakura_, so how about a song for them."

Internally, Hisana sighed in relief as she began to play the traditional song dedicated to the cherry blossoms. It was her very favorite melody, since _sakura_ were her favorite flowers. Every ounce of free time she had during their bloom, she spent under a _sakura_ tree, dozing or reading the few books that lay around. If she had her way, she'd have one planted just in front of the _Ume_, so she would play every night with the flowers watching over her.

When she finished, Chitose was beaming at her, and excitedly flickering her gaze to the nobleman and then back to Hisana, back to the nobleman, back to Hisana. The nobleman had his eyes closed, and his arms crossed in thought. Hisana squirmed a little. Chitose was obviously pleased...but Kuchiki-sama...

"What length of time do you typically play at one sitting?"

Hisana fidgeted with the finger picks at the sudden question, "_Ano..._Usually about three hours, Kuchiki-sama."

"Every night?"

"_Hai_."

The man opened his eyes, staring blankly at a spot on the floor, "Hm. Very well. I will send someone to pick you up tomorrow. You only need to bring yourself," He smiled encouragingly at her briefly before he rose to his feet, bowed his head to Hisana, and nodded at Chitose. And he left.

Neither of them spoke until long after the front door slid shut with a _clack_, and Kuchiki-sama's footsteps could not be heard. Then Chitose jumped to her feet, "Damn straight! We will _never_ hear the end of your praises, Hisana!"

Hisana shook her head, grabbing her arms frantically, "But I'm going to have to play in a noble family's house! _In front of nobles!_"

Chitose waved her hand as though it was no big deal, "Please, you'll love it. I won't be able to convince you to play here after you've played there for five minutes. Besides, that man? Kuchiki Soujun-sama? I've heard his son is quite pleasing to the eyes. Maybe you'll meet him, hm?" She smirked knowingly, ignoring Hisana's pleas of mortified protests.

* * *

><p>AN: Plenty of Byakuya next chapter, I _promise_. Have to set the stage here. :D Oh, and if any of you would like to spare a moment and send me some constructive criticism, I'd really really appreciate it. I want to write to your satisfaction!

Japanese words index:

_Ume_: plum

_Geisha_: a dignified, Japanese woman artist. They perform in dance, art, and music. Generally they are entertainers for men. However, they are not prostitutes. They sell their skills, not their bodies.

_Koto_: a traditional Japanese instrument. It is a long wooden board with strings to make t he pitches. It is played by plucking the strings.

_Ji_: the bridges on a koto. If you don't know what I'm talking about...Google is our friend. 3

_Mooshiwake gozaimasen_: Literally, "There is no room for excuse". It's basically a very humble form of apology, acknowledging that the person has made a mistake. You Bleach nuts may recognize it from Fade to Black when Byakuya asked Hisana if she'd been to Rukongai and she said, "_Hai, mooshiwake arimasen_." (using _arimasen_ is a slightly less formal use. That said, it's still formal.)

_Hai_: Yes. (Although in other cases, it can be "I beg your pardon?" Context matters!)

_Tatami_: the rectangular mats used as floorboards in Japanese buildings. They're also used as a form of measurement for rooms.

_(O)ba-san_: means "aunt", not to be confused with _(O)baa-san_, which is "grandmother" (or "old woman").

_Kimono_: an article of clothing. It literally means "a thing to wear". It's worn by men, women, and children (a _kimono_ doesn't have to be the Japanese gowns from _Memoirs of a Geisha_).

_Obi_: the sash around a _kimono_.

_Ano_: In this context, it means "Um…"


	2. Accelerando

Hisana paced back and forth along the obnoxiously large room she was staying in for her short stay at the Kuchiki manor. She was about to play for nobles! _Nobles_! As in pretty clothes and expensive food and maids and, and…! For the Spirit King's sake, _she_ was wearing a fine silk _kimono_! The moment she had arrived, escorted by an unknown, silent man, no fewer than five (_five_!) maids had quickly rushed her to a bath where an elderly maid scrubbed her down with a generous amount of soap and shampoo (it smelled _lovely_), making sure not a speck of filth from the Rukongai remained on her pale skin. When the woman had deemed her presentable, the other four maids had whisked her to an empty room, where they changed her clothes from the comfortable _kimono_ Chitose had given her to the pink, cool silk robe she was wearing now. Every single one of the maids she'd met so far had been so polite, much more than should have been necessary for a woman of her low station.

After the youngest maid, a girl of about a human 12, had finished tying her _obi_, she had been escorted to yet another room, which was decorated with calligraphy scrolls, paintings, sculptures, and it was even more breath-taking than the clean bedroom with the _shouji_ she was borrowing. Waiting in there was the same man (Kuchiki Soujun-sama?) that had heard her play the _koto_ at the Ume, watching the cherry blossoms outside the window on the far end of the room. The maid bowed before exiting and closing the door. The man looked up, as though he just had just noticed her entrance, "Oh, wonderful. I'm glad to see that you're ready."

Hisana bowed, "I'm honored to be here and I will do my best to perform to my best ability, Kuchiki-sama."

The man smiled, "Please, my given name will do. Nearly everyone in this house could be called Kuchiki, and it gets rather confusing when everyone is Kuchiki, Kuchiki, Kuchiki. Who needs that sort of complexity?"

Hisana blinked. Was he trying to be…funny? "_H-hai_, Soujun-sama."

Soujun turned, situating himself so that he faced her. She _was_ a beauty now wasn't she? Oh yes, he was certain that the family would be pleased to have an accomplished, beautiful woman at the koto on their annual _hanami_. They would never guess he'd brought her from one of the most abysmal districts in the Soul Society. Quite against their wishes, mind you. They'd specifically said to search no farther than the 10th district, but what they don't know…well, it hardly matters now does it?

"I should tell you what you'll be doing. You told me that you've played for long stretches of time before? Yes? Well, I'd like to ask you to play for 3 hours today, if that is suitable."

Hisana bowed low again, "Whatever pleases you, Soujun-sama." 3 hours? That would be easy! She almost let out a laugh at how nervous she'd be working herself up to be. She'd been thinking everyone would look down on her, saying scornful things as opposed to being treated as a near equal, as Soujun-sama was doing. Hisana fervently wished everyone else here was so kind.

"_Shitsureishimasu_."

Soujun looked up at the door, "Yes, come in."

The door opened to reveal a scrawny teenage boy in a green _kosode_ and _hakama_. He was slender, but he exuded a certain confidence and there was no mistaking the pressure of reiatsu. He was letting his hair down, just like Soujun. In fact, he looked strangely like him…Hisana peeked at him at the corner of her eye, unsure of whether he was another servant or if he was someone important. _'No…_' she thought, _'He's standing. If he were a servant, surely he would be bowing on the ground. And he wouldn't be wearing such nice clothes.'_

The boy bowed slightly, "_Otou-sama_, you asked for me?"

Soujun rose, nodding, before reaching to a table to grab…what was that? Hisana's eyes widened slightly, realizing that it was his zanpaku-to. Soujun slid the sheath into his _obi_, and Hisana could have smacked herself for not realizing sooner. _'He's clad in a _shihakushou_! And he's wearing the badge of a…a _fuku-taichou_? He's a Shinigami.'_

Hisana watched Soujun, now frightened, as he chatted pleasantly with the new boy, _'Of course he's a Shinigami, he had a zanpaku-to with him when he heard me play. But I didn't realize it was his…But he hasn't been cruel in any way…Have all the rumors I've heard about Shinigami been wrong? Are they not all evil? Soujun-sama has been very kind, but…'_

"Hisana-san, this person will be your escort," Soujun said, gesturing to the boy. He turned towards the teenager, "Byakuya, please take her to the location we've arranged for her. If she has any questions, I would be grateful if you indulged them."

The boy named Byakuya bowed again, "Of course, Otou-sama." He turned to Hisana, "Let's go, then."

Hisana started, quickly scrambling to her feet, surprised by the sudden abruptness to his voice. She bowed low before following him quickly.

They walked in silence down several corridors, inside and outside, and Hisana gaped in awe at the splendor and vastness of the manor. Byakuya…sama? was leading her silently, and she wasn't sure what kind of person he was at all. He obviously wasn't a servant or someone of low stature. _Every_ person they passed, even the elderly people of certain high station, bowed low to him, addressing him as 'Byakuya-sama' and inquiring if he had anything he needed taken care of. He always declined their offers and thanking them before continuing along the corridors. Hisana had so many questions to ask, but she didn't want to anger this quietly powerful boy.

"Do you have any questions, Hisana?"

Hisana jumped, startled at Byakuya's offer, "O-oh, I'm fine!" She frowned. He'd called her by just her name…Not like it really mattered, she didn't really care. But that was…quite informal.

Byakuya turned his head slightly, "You don't need to hold questions back. I would assume that you are unfamiliar with many things here."

Hisana blushed under his interrogating gaze, "I-I…well, that is…" she paused, thinking exactly how to word her questions, "In that case, Byakuya-sama…may I ask…who are you, exactly? You do not appear to be the average person…" Byakuya raised his eyebrows at her, and she immediately recoiled, waving her hands frantically, "But please don't answer me, it's none of my business!"

Byakuya shook his head, "No, that's not it. I just thought that was an interesting question to ask, out of everything you could possibly be wondering about." He looked at her again, "I am the heir of the Kuchiki-_ke_. _Ojii-sama_ is the current Head of the family, and after him, I will be the next head. That is why everyone goes out of their way to address me."

Hisana frowned, "But…your father…?"

"Otou-sama rescinded the position. He…Otou-sama is a great man. And a good father. When I turned 50, he turned the inheritance to me, suggesting that there would be little point in accepting the position so that he would little time to be the head, due to his position in the Gotei Juusantai, and he could potentially die quickly, throwing the responsibility to me with little warning." Byakuya paused. "I'm talking too much."

Hisana covered her mouth, and bowed, "I'm so sorry for asking!"

Byakuya frowned, turning back to face the direction they were walking, "It's not a problem. Just forget about it."

They walked in silence again, causing Hisana to reflect guiltily, _'You fool, you're causing trouble for the heir of a noble family! You just need to keep your mouth shut and your eyes on the ground.'_

"Hisana, look there. That's where you'll be playing."

Hisana looked up to see where Byakuya was pointing, and felt any doubts she had left about this venture turning sour evaporate. The _koto_ she was going to be playing (which was a beautiful instrument of mahogany, she noted vaguely) was placed right underneath the largest _sakura_ tree on this stretch of the grounds. Even if the nobles gave her disparaging glares, she could easily forget about them by watching the blossoms fall from the tree as she played.

Byakuya watched Hisana's face as she took in the grounds. She was weird. There was no other way to say it. He'd heard that the souls that lived in the highest districts of Rukongai were more…_informal_ than this girl was acting. Certainly the souls from the higher districts weren't at all as important as the nobility, but for sure they had a certain _class_ to them. Perhaps even like the foot soldiers of the Shinigami ranks. Middle-class, Byakuya concluded. But Hisana…she was acting like a common servant, albeit more nervous. It was just weird.

"Do you need anything else?" he asked, as she jumped involuntarily at his abrupt question.

Hisana waved her hand back and forth in front of her face, "No, I have everything I need, Byakuya-sama!"

Byakuya didn't reply for a moment, but then turned around and proceeded to walk back towards the manor, "Hn. Fine then. I'll come get you when the _hanami_ is over. If you want to start warming up, go ahead. The guests will be arriving soon."

Hisana watched him leave before plopping down on her knees behind the _koto_. He was weird. Just weird! She knew he was a noble, but he was being so casual with her! Not arrogant or domineering, just casual.

She leaned forward and plucked a few strings experimentally, and let out a soft sigh of contentment. It was tuned beautifully, and had a much stronger, cleaner sound than the _koto_ at the Ume. She'd never stopped to really think about it, but even though the _koto_ she usually played was the height of luxury in her district, of course there would be _koto_ of higher quality in the Seireitei. _'Everything seems to be better here, from the people to the lifestyle,' _she mused, playing any easy tune to get used to the instrument, _'I wonder if I could escape here myself, and become a Shinigami? Maybe they really aren't as bad as everyone's made them out to me. Maybe, someday, Rukia will find her way here…'_

Her heart clenched at the thought. How could she hope Rukia, a baby when she left her, would run to the Seireitei with nothing but the guidance of an old woman, if she had even accepted Rukia into her home? Hisana swallowed back the pain that was building up in her throat, watching the newly arrived people around her as she started playing the songs she came to do.

She'd never stopped thinking about Rukia. Not really. She couldn't even decide if she regretted it. It had been 30 years, and Rukia would be a child by now, maybe 7 or 8 in human years, but Hisana couldn't stop going back and forth: had she made the right decision? She was fairly confident that had she kept Rukia with her, they would both have died from starvation, and would be reincarnated in the World of the Living by now. But then the other side of her heart countered, _'But isn't that just your own weakness, putting your life before your infant sister's? Self-preservation?'_

Hisana closed her eyes, _'Forget about it. There's nothing you can do now. You need to live in the present. And right now, you need to play.'_ She turned back to her _koto_ and wiped her mind clear of everything but notes, strings, and cherry blossoms, but not before a few tears dripped onto the mahogany.

* * *

><p>Byakuya watched Hisana across the lawn. She had a very expressive way of playing, really played with a lot of feeling. Like she was talking to her audience with the music. She was very relaxing to listen to.<p>

"Byakuya-sama, how is your training at the Academy?" some guest asked, walking up to him. Byakuya couldn't keep track of the number of noblemen and women he was supposed to be able to name on the spot by the number of hairs on their head, or whatever.

Reluctantly, he turned to face the man that was speaking to him, actually recognizing this particular guest, a man from the Shihoin-_ke_. He was the father of the girl years younger than him their two houses were trying to get him engaged to. "It goes well. I will do my best to follow Ojii-sama and Otou-sama, and enter the 6th Squad in the Gotei Juusantai," he responded politely, bowing only slightly. He was still of higher station than this man.

The man nodded, "Of course, of course. And how about your education to become the noble Head of the Kuchiki-_ke_?"

"I will learn everything necessary and make the Kuchiki family proud as always," Byakuya replied stiffly, bowing a little less, "If you'll excuse me," he turned and walked away from the man. Alright, so that had been a little rude, and no doubt his grandfather would lecture him later if he found out about it. But he didn't want to talk about his future in the family in the middle of a celebration. He heard enough about it every other day of his life.

'_Byakuya-sama, please stop reading for pleasure, and study the history of the Four Noble Clans'_

'_Byakuya-sama, kindly focus a little harder on learning the laws of the Soul Society – if you do not follow them perfectly, what can you expect of those that will look up to you as Head of a noble family?'_

Not even his grandfather would stop talking about it, _'Byakuya, you must learn to control your temper. It's unfitting of a nobleman to be hotheaded, and even less for a captain to be so. You're strong, Byakuya. You must prove to the 6__th__ Squad that you will be a capable leader.'_

Byakuya-sama, don't do this, Byakuya-sama, kindly do that: he was really starting to get sick of it. Sure, he was proud to be the next Head of the family and all, but he wanted control of his own life. But when you're the heir, you can have anything you want, except control of your life. It drove him crazy. His dad understood. He called his father "Otou-sama", but he really liked his dad, maybe he'd even drop enough shame to say he _loved_ his dad, and would much rather call him like any other son who admires his father. His dad always took his side, no matter what – Byakuya wants to read a book? Let him read what he wants, he'll be a cultured man! Byakuya would rather take walks at night than study extra hours? He'll learn to appreciate little blessings and beauty in the world. Byakuya has a short temper? He'll never bottle his feelings and become distant from others.

Alright, he really loved his dad.

He stood about five feet from where Hisana was playing, hoping that as long as he looked absorbed in something, no one would bother him. She really was a good performer. _'She's kind of nice,' _he thought absently, watching her, _'Maybe I should ask her to be friends.'_ He'd never had a "friend." The house thought everyone was below him, so they never let him have time to go to celebrations or festivals with his classmates at the Academy. He had to act noble _all the time_. Maybe if he kept a secret friendship with someone in Rukongai, it could work? And they couldn't complain about someone from the higher levels of Rukongai.

* * *

><p>Hisana rolled over in her <em>futon<em> the next morning, exhausted still. She had actually ended up playing 6 hours, instead of 3. Soujun-sama had apologized profusely at the end of the _hanami_, but what could Hisana say? She could hardly act annoyed. So she assured him it was alright, and not to worry about it, bowing and being polite nonstop. As extra payment, Soujun-sama had insisted on giving her clothing to take back with her. Hisana had refused at first, terrified that if someone saw her in such refinery in the dregs of Rukongai, she would be mugged and left for dead within minutes. But Soujun-sama had already thought of that, knowing where she was really from, and provided her with a simple cotton _yukata_ of a light blue, in addition to the promised payment.

She sat up, pulling the _yukata_ towards her and slipping her arms through the sleeves. It was nice here, but she had already told the housing staff that she would be leaving before dawn, so she wouldn't cause any trouble. She tied her simple _obi_, and folded the _futon_ neatly, heaving it into a corner before running a brush quickly through her hair and leaving the little, sweet bedroom.

Her room was within sight of the entrance of the manor, so she headed there, without stopping to ask directions from anybody. She was about to go through the giant gate when someone put a hand of her shoulder. She flinched, turning around, brushing off the hand quickly in defense. But the person standing there was Byakuya-sama, clad in grey today with his hair up in a quick pony-tail, putting his hand slowly back to his side, a peculiar expression on his face.

"Oh gods, I'm so sorry for my rudeness, Byakuya-sama!" she bowed low, mortified, both at her actions and his. Why was he being so familiar? Was that a noble thing?

Byakuya didn't answer right away, but eventually, "I was just wondering if you wanted an escort back to your district? It's unsafe for a woman to walk so far alone before daybreak."

Hisana blushed, "Oh, I could never be so bold as to ask! I wouldn't want to trouble you!"

But the noble shook his head, "You don't need to ask, since I have already offered," he leaned in conspiratorially, "And there might be a rule somewhere about turning down a noble's offer."

Her blush drained into white, "O-oh, forgive me! I'm afraid I just can't do much right…" but she stopped when she realized Byakuya's lips were curved up just slightly at the corner. He was _joking _with her. The ridiculousness of it made her smile just a little in return, and she bowed respectfully, "I…I would be honored, Byakuya-sama."

Byakuya nodded, "Then let's be on our way, Hisana."

* * *

><p>AN: Whew! Dedicating this real quick to someone who was kind enough today to decide to follow this story and urge me to continue (You know who you are). You caught me on a good night, haha. I hope this chapter satisfied you all, my treasured readers. Sorry for my absence. Silly things like college get in the way. And once again, constructive criticism is always welcome – fill my inbox, friends!

Japanese words index:

_Shouji_: The paper and wood doors in Japan. You guys know this one, right?

_Hanami_: Literally "flower viewing". It's a common celebration in the spring to come see the lovely blossoms of the trees, particularly _sakura_. You guys should all Google "sakura hanami" – super pretty!

_Shitsureishimasu_: A saying to use when entering someone's room, office, you know. It essentially means, "I'm about to be rude", so you're letting the person inside know that you want to enter.

_Kosode_: Kind of like a shorter _kimono_. If you want a visual, a Shinigami's shihakushou is made up of a _kosode _and _hakama_ – like a shirt and pants.

_Hakama_: There are two kinds of _hakama_ – ones with legs and ones that are more like a skirt. I'm talking about the former here. If you want a visual, picture the shihakushou.

_Otou-sama_: formal way of saying "father"

-_ke_: This uses the kanji for "house". It can be translated at Kuchiki family, or Kuchiki clan.

_Ojii-sama_: formal way of saying "grandfather"

_Futon_: Essentially, a foldable (usually into 3 layers) mattress and quilts for sleeping on.

_Yukata_: A light, summer _kimono_, usually made of cotton.


	3. Pastoral

Byakuya jumped onto the wall that surrounded the Kuchiki manor. He was wearing training clothes, like he always did when he practiced his techniques for becoming a Shinigami. He was in his 5th year at the Academy now, and all of his teachers praised his progress and natural ability. But then, they could have just been saying of that because of his social status.

Today, however, he wasn't going out just for training. He slipped off the wall onto the other side, dropping down to the street below. He'd been doing this for months, escaping the manor in the afternoon after school to take his "training" to the 76th District where Hisana lived. _'I'm not exactly lying to them when they ask where I'm going and what I'm doing,' _he thought, crafting a new excuse in his head, walking towards Seireitei's wall, _'I'm just not telling them the whole truth.'_

"And where are _you_ heading off to, Byakuya-_bo_?" a voice called.

Byakuya swore under his breath, whipping around, "It's none of your business, _bakeneko!_" He glared at the woman clad in a shihakushou and captain's _haori _standing on a branch of a nearby tree.

Yoruichi laughed, "If it's your business, I make it my business! Everything a cat sees belongs to her," she purred, flipping in the air to hook her knees around the branch, grinning at Byakuya while hanging upside down, "So where are you going?"

"It's none of your business! I'm the heir of the Kuchiki-_ke_! I don't have to tell you anything!" He shouted back. He didn't like to use his position as leverage, but Shihoin Yoruichi was the exception to the rule.

"Is that right?" Yoruichi questioned, disappearing, but Byakuya had already guessed what she was about to do, and ducked just as her hand swiped for his hair tie. "Oooh, Byakuya-bo, you're getting faster!" she praised, crossing her arms in approval.

"Of course I am!" he countered, "I'm going to join the 6th Squad, so I'm going to start by being faster than _you_." He turned and used shunpo in mid-step, leaving Yoruichi standing there, a grin still plastered on her face.

"Oh, Kuchiki Byakuya, you can't honestly think I won't follow you," she hummed, "You should learn to be not quite so defensive."

* * *

><p>An hour later, Byakuya reached the river in the outskirts of the 76th District, panting. He was loath to admit it, but he'd probably pushed himself too hard. Sure, he was stronger than the average student – he could outrun most people in the class, and his kidô in particular was good. But he was still only 182 years old. Running from Seireitei to the edges of the Soul Society was no small feat for a late teenager.<p>

He heard the crunch of feet through grass and turned, straightening his posture. Hisana was fighting her way through the tall blades with a basket of laundry half her height. She had a look of intense concentration on her face as she watched her step, but when she looked up, her face changed to one of complete surprise before breaking into a grin, "Byakuya-sama! You're early, aren't you?"

Byakuya wiped some sweat from his mad dash before answering, "Probably. I had some trouble leaving the manor today."

Hisana immediately looked concerned, her eyebrows drawing together, "I haven't caused you any problems, have I?"

He shook his head, "I come because I want to. Any trouble would not be your fault," he pulled out a length of cord, wrapping his sleeves so that they were pushed against his shoulders and out of his way.

Setting the laundry down by the river, Hisana smiled, "What are you training for today?" Every time he came to visit her in Rukongai, he came dressed for training, and she knew this was so that his family wouldn't suspect he was friends with a commoner in the base districts.

'_Friends,'_ she thought happily. He'd asked her if she would mind being an "acquaintance" the day he'd escorted her from the Kuchiki manor, 6 months ago. She'd been shocked, but there had also been a feeling that resembled excitement. She'd never had a friendly relationship before. The girls at the Ume were more like her co-workers, and Chitose was her boss. So she'd responded, _"If we can be friends, I humbly accept the offer."_ Byakuya had nodded, and they didn't speak of it again. But every week, once or twice, he'd come while she was out doing chores and just…be there with her. It wasn't what she had expected, but she found it to be very relaxing and she looked forward to it every morning, wondering, _'Will he come today?'_

"I thought I'd practice kidô today. I have final exams in all subjects next week. If I pass those exams, I will commence to 6th year, which will be my last year before I can finally be a Shinigami," Byakuya explained, stretching his arms.

"With all due respect, Byakuya-sama," Hisana began, dunking the first of the laundry into the river, "I don't think there is even a question of 'if' you pass those exams. There's no way you could not."

If he had been trying to hide the following smirk to this remark, he didn't try very hard, "We'll see when the results come out." Okay, so he couldn't resist accepting Hisana's compliments and bragging a little bit. It was different when coming from a friend, he thought. If someone at the Academy had told him the same thing, he would have just assumed they were flattering him and didn't really care about how his abilities were one way or the other. But he did felt a certain amount of satisfaction when he saw Hisana's face light up with wonder when he loosed lightning from his fingertips or cast a yellow barrier in a 20 meter diameter around them.

"How is your work here?" he asked, practicing _Hainawa_ by throwing the yellow chains to tree branches and controlling them.

Hisana continued scrubbing the _kimono_ she was cleaning on the washboard, "It's no different than usual, Byakuya-sama. It's a quiet life, but it's nice." But the truth was, there _had_ been a change in her daily routine.

Every morning after she prepared the house for the day, she had begun searching Rukongai for her sister. Byakuya often talked about his family with distaste in his voice, whether he noticed it or not, but when he spoke of his father, he always had the start of a smile creeping into his face – Hisana could tell that he was very fond of Soujun-sama. She'd lost count of the number of times she'd gone to bed thinking about that sort of happy familial relationship, and realized with an ache in her heart that she could have had that too, if only she hadn't abandoned Rukia that day. So a few weeks ago, she'd decided: every spare moment would be spent searching for Rukia. She'd work her way back to Inuzuri, little by little, not leaving any section of the area unsearched. _'Someday,' _she resolved, _'I will find her again.'_

"Mrow?"

Hisana jumped, looking down, and saw a black cat, looking right back up at her. Its yellow eyes mooned up at her, and she smiled. She _loved_ cats, "Hello there," she crooned, scratching the cat behind its ears, "Where did you come from?"

The cat purred, leaping up onto her lap. Hisana laughed, putting the _kimono_ in her hands on the grass beside her to dry, and continued petting the cat, "You're a friendly one, aren't you? Do you have an owner?"

Byakuya turned around, "Hisana, who are you talking-?" He froze when he saw the cat, "Oh for the love of-. What are _you_ doing here?" he muttered darkly, stalking over to Hisana and the cat that he _knew_ was in fact _not_ a cat.

Hisana blinked up at him, "Do you know this cat, Byakuya-sama? Is it from Seireitei?"

Byakuya leaned over and yanked the cat off her lap by the scruff of its neck, "I can't believe you actually followed me. Don't you have a _job_?" he spat at the cat, who just stared blankly back at him. He faltered for a moment. Was it really just a black cat? He saw Hisana looking up at him, clearly confused, out of the corner of his eye, and felt a blush creeping into his face.

"Oh, never mind," he mumbled, putting the cat back down. He turned away, trying to regain his composure, _'Great, now I've acted like a complete fool. What will she think now, that I've lost my head?'_ But he stopped when he heard muffled laughter behind him, and looked back at Hisana, who had her hand over her mouth, clearly trying not to laugh. Her effort failed spectacularly when she caught his eye, and she giggled uncontrollably, "Are you tired, Byakuya-sama?"

Byakuya blinked at her, before looking pointedly away, feeling his face redden again, "Sure, probably." He sat down next to her, cupping some water from the river in his hands and splashing his face before glaring at the cat, still suspicious. The cat looked back at him with its large yellow eyes.

He bowed his head, "My apologies, cat. I mistook you for someone else." Hisana giggled some more.

The cat jumped off her lap, and walked over to Byakuya, looking up at him. He looked back at it. Then the cat seemed to grin, as if cats could, and before Byakuya could react, jumped onto his shoulder, bit down on his hair tie, and ran off with the red ribbon in its mouth.

Byakuya cursed, "_Dammit_, you demon! That's an under-handed trick, Shihoin Yoruichi!" he yelled, scrambling up to follow it, but the cat was already gone, disappeared with shunpo no doubt.

Hisana gaped, "What on earth was that about? You really did know that cat?"

"_Not_ a cat," Byakuya muttered, lying back on the bank, closing his eyes irritably, his arms folded across his chest, "That was a woman, a _noble_woman, if I have to call her that. She's the head of the stealth force, and she learned a special technique that turns her into a cat. She's completely irritating," he concluded.

'_A noblewoman…'_ Hisana mused, "Is it a problem that she's seen that you come here, Byakuya-sama?"

"Probably not," he responded, not opening his eyes, "She'll probably just bother me about it and be generally infuriating."

Hisana watched him lay there, his forehead pinched in irritation, but also beaded in sweat, "Are you tired?"

He inhaled slowly and let the breath go, "Perhaps a little bit." He went quiet for a few minutes, until Hisana was sure that he'd fallen asleep.

She watched his face relax, a smile lingering on her face. He'd looked completely exhausted when she saw him by the river ahead of her, so she wasn't surprised that he'd pass out after practicing with his Shinigami magic for five minutes. _'He pushes himself too hard sometimes. I wonder if that's why he comes here instead of staying at his family's manor…?'_

Sometimes when he was training, Hisana sneaked a peek at him, allowing herself to stare just a little bit before he could notice. She didn't see him as often as the women she lived with, and she wanted her only friend, and therefore her _best_ friend, burned into her memory permanently. And it wasn't as if Byakuya wasn't something pleasant to look at. His shoulder-length black hair was certainly prettier than hers, and there was even something a little effeminate about his features: soft, somehow. Though, he'd grown into his body a little more in the past 6 months, fleshing out and looking generally more like an adult than the teenager he was now. _'If I were the giggling, gossiping type of girl like the women at the Ume_," Hisana thought, _'I'd probably say Byakuya-sama is 'hot'.'_ Though, she had to admit, "handsome" definitely fit him well.

He seemed to be about her age – she'd been 16 when she died in the World of the Living, so she figured that she was probably about 18 or 19 now, if she were still human. Age was such an odd thing in the Soul Society. A soul born in the Soul Society, like Byakuya, could look 19 at 182 years old, but someone who had died at 35 in the World of the Living would come to the afterlife 35 looking 35.

Hisana glanced up at the sky, judging the sun's position. Byakuya usually returned to Seireitei just before sunset, so she figured it would be safe to let him sleep for at least an hour before waking him. A sudden gust blew, sending a few _kimono_ tumbling away. Hisana scrambled to collect them, folding them over her arms as she walked back to the rest of the clothes. When she sat down, she looked back over at Byakuya and stifled a laugh. The wind had blown his hair across his face, and he looked completely ridiculous, with strands crossing just over his lips like a misshapen mustache. Hisana shook her head, smiling. She reached a hand over to him, hesitated a moment, before sweeping the hair off his face. _'He really is handsome,'_ she admitted, withdrawing her hand.

* * *

><p>Byakuya closed his bedroom door behind him, his hair tie gripped in his fist. Yoruichi had been waiting for him, in a seemingly deep conversation with his dad, before she "suddenly" noticed Byakuya and waved hello in an overly energetic greeting. Before he could react, she'd crushed him against her chest in a suffocating hug, and he'd pushed her back, calling her a demon cat, and so on and so forth: the pattern never seemed to stop. His dad had been laughing (he always did find his so called "relationship" with Yoruichi amusing), but handed him his hair tie, saying, "Yoruichi-sama found it on the street outside the manor. I hope you weren't looking for it." Byakuya had thanked his dad, bowed stiffly to Yoruichi, and headed straight for his room.<p>

'_Did that woman tell Otou-sama or not?'_ he questioned, annoyed_, 'Otou-sama didn't seem to think anything was out of the ordinary, but he could be keeping it from me for all I know.'_ He untied his _kosode_, tossing it irritably in the corner. But he didn't like leaving his clothes all over the room – it was such a mess – so he walked over to the shirt and folded it neatly before putting it with the rest of his laundry.

When he woke up, Hisana had been lying on her back about 3 feet away from him, watching the clouds go by. She didn't notice he had woken up, so he watched her for a minute, just thinking. When she talked to him, she always seemed to be at personal war with herself, trying to decide whether she should be formal to him, or allow herself to be a little informal. No matter what she said, she used honorific speech, as though she were constantly referring to him as just another noble. But her actions spoke completely differently – she smiled often and didn't hesitate to laugh or ask questions, just as he supposed a friend would. He had to admit, he really appreciated that attitude. It always made him look forward to coming on these weekly excursions, wondering, _'What will make her laugh today?'_

He asked her what she saw in the clouds, and though she jumped slightly at his sudden entrance into her quiet surroundings, she had responded, _"Well, that one kind of looks like a cat, doesn't it?"_ she pointed to a cloud that looked absolutely nothing like a cat.

"_I've seen enough cats for one afternoon,"_ he'd responded, to which she had laughed again.

"_Maybe cats are just attracted to you, Byakuya-sama. They're such playful animals."_

"_In my experience, 'playful' has meant 'annoying' when it comes to cats."_

Someone knocked at the door, interrupting the memory, "Byakuya, may I come in?" It was his dad.

Byakuya reached into his dresser, quickly pulling on a casual men's _kimono_, "Sure, Otou-sama."

Soujun stepped in, closing the door behind him, "Did you enjoy your training today?" He settled down onto the floor, sitting a few meters from the door.

Byakuya nodded, hesitantly, "I worked on my kidô today. I'm ready for the examination tomorrow."

"I have no doubt, Byakuya," Soujun agreed, smiling at his son, "I have watched your progress, and you've been improving greatly, particularly your shunpo. Is that thanks to your long-distance trips to the 76th District?"

"Did Shihoin Yoruichi tell you about that?" Byakuya asked, dropping his formal speech just a bit. He couldn't tell if his dad was angry with him or not – he was still smiling, but that didn't always mean much.

"No, I have known for a few months now, although Yoruichi-sama did tell me about your…mishap today. I understand Hisana-san was quite amused."

For what seemed like the umpteenth time that day, Byakuya resisted his face's urge to redden. He sat down in front of his father, "…She did laugh."

"Well, I'm sure it was funny. But right now, we should talk about why you've been going," He gave Byakuya a meaningful look.

'_Get out of my face, blood vessels,'_ "She's just a friend, Otou-sama."

"I believe you. Have you simply wanted to get out of the house?"

"It is better to be outside in Rukongai than inside these walls here."

"I believe you, and I happen to agree on that point rather strongly."

Byakuya looked at his father, curiosity getting the best of him, "_Why_ do you believe me? You always do. Whenever the House starts telling me to change what I'm doing, you talk them out of it. I could lie to you about everything, but you always believe me."

Soujun raised his eyebrows, "Do you resent it?"

"No, I don't. But…I don't understand."

His father sighed, watching the almost-adult in front of him. He'd watched him grow up for nearly two centuries now. He wished his wife could see him now. Or even could have seen him outside the delivering room, where she died. One of his biggest fears had been that with no mother to raise him, and with him being at the 6th Squad barracks all day, the House would have molded his only son into one of _them_. Just another, stuck-up, run-of-the-mill, noble.

But Soujun was always grateful and ever happy to see that Byakuya had in fact turned out quite different than the rest of the family. He had more interest in life than just the law or the image of the Kuchiki-_ke_, and didn't follow orders just because someone told him to. He was so proud of the man his son was becoming.

"Because, Byakuya," he began, "you are everything I always wanted my son to be. Even if you were not, I would love you the same. And I hope that is something you come to understand one day." He smiled at his son, and stood up, going to leave the room.

"But Otou-sama, what is it you want me to understand?" Byakuya frowned, unsure of exactly what his father was talking about.

Soujun turned, "That someday, you will understand that the care you extend to people, whether it be to family, friend, or more, is what will make you a better person," he watched Byakuya's eyebrows stitch together, obviously still confused, "Think on it for a while, and you will understand." With that, he closed the door behind him.

* * *

><p>AN: Okay, guys, seriously, I am having so much fun with Soujun's character. I want him to be the loving father type, okay? He looks so nice in the only picture we have of him! (If you don't know what I'm talking about, go Google "Soujun Kuchiki") As for Byakuya's mother, we'll probably never know, so I'm making crap up.

Also, I hope I addressed some of the questions that I was asked (age, for instance). Actually, speaking of age, does it bother anyone else that Kubo is seemingly extremely inconsistent with the whole age in the Soul Society thing? Like, Rukia is supposedly about 150 years old, yet she looks no different now than how she looked 50 years ago. Then you have Byakuya, who looks like he could be 25-ish now, but 110 years ago, looked about 16? How does that even work? So I have a theory that they age in some weird exponential way in the SS. But it makes my brain hurt.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Hope I'll keep this momentum going. Spring Break is next week, so _we shall see_.

Japanese Words Index:

-_bo_: In the anime, when Yoruichi calls Byakuya "Byakuya-bo" (bou?), it's translated at "Little Byakuya." I don't know the Kanji so I can't verify this for sure. But let's go with it.

_Haori_: A jacket. I'm talking about the white coats the captains wear, in this case.

_Bakeneko_: Were-cat, demon cat. It's a real mythological creature in Japanese mythology, though it looks nothing like Yoruichi.


	4. Interlude

Hisana crossed the border into the 78th District, Inuzuri. It had taken her two years, but now, she had finally finished scouring the 77th District between her district and where she'd left Rukia. She was confident Rukia had to still be here somewhere. After all, how far could a child go from her home town? There was always the possibility that there had been dangers, thieves, scoundrels, murderers that had stood in her little sister's way, and as such a small child, she could be…

'_No,'_ Hisana thought assertively, _'You can't think that way. Rukia is alive, and you _will _find her._' She nodded to herself, resolute, and proceeded to climb up the side of the nearest house.

This was something that Byakuya had yet to find out about her – she was actually fairly athletic. Who wouldn't be, living here? It _might_ just have something to do with how she spent hours every day running around Rukongai, but that aside…She grabbed the edge of the roof above her, and pushed off from the balcony she was standing on, swinging to get her momentum going hard enough to lift herself onto the top of the building.

She walked towards the center, looking around her. Slums were still slums after all. Byakuya had told her about the better living conditions in the upper districts, like the 1st District in the West, Junrinan, but the difference between Inuzuri and the 76th was imperceptible. Hisana felt her heart clench with anxiety for the horrible chance a child alone here had to live, but she swallowed it back, hopping onto the next roof, keeping a look-out for a child who might look like her at all.

This was another problem she faced – how could she know what Rukia looked like now? She might resemble her a little bit, she had no idea, but maybe Hisana took after their mother and Rukia their father? She had no way of knowing. She didn't remember their parents, and all she had to go on for Rukia's appearance was that she had black hair like hers, and violet eyes. And a baby's eyes could change color, she knew, but how long until it was a confirmed she didn't know.

"Hold it right there, damn brats! That's water _I_ stole! Give it back or _I'll kill you!_"

Hisana cried out, startled, and slipped, sliding down the side of the roof under just at the edge, and watched the scene unfold below her. There was a man holding a blade over his head, running after some kids with pots. What did that man say? Water? She clenched her fists, debating. These kids were obviously pressed for survival, stealing water and running for their lives to protect it. She knew what struggle they must be going through, and how much they really needed to steal. She wanted to intervene so badly…but what could she do? Byakuya had taught her a few moves, but against a weapon she had no chance. She closed her eyes, turning away, cursing herself for not stepping in to help.

Then she heard the man cry out, and dull thuds, like fist contacting flesh…she opened her eyes, looking down at the man below her. A girl was stomping on his head, before running off, calling at the kids behind her, "Follow me!" Hisana stared at the black-haired, violet-eyed girl, not daring to believe her eyes. She might be looking in a mirror. The girl had the same hair-style she had, even.

"_Rukia_," she breathed.

"Follow me! You want to lose that water you stole?" Rukia disappeared around the corner, the boys hesitating before following her.

Hisana snapped out of it, "Wait!" She called, grabbing a wooden pole next to the roof and sliding down. She winced as splitters stabbed her hands repeatedly, but didn't let it stop her. She reached the ground and broke into a sprint, running down the same path Rukia followed. The second she turned onto the next road, she stifled a despairing groan. There were crowded, busy roads going three different ways, splitting from the intersection she stood at. She couldn't see the kids anymore.

"I lost her again…" she whispered, dropping to her knees. She felt an odd mixture of feelings. Misery at how close she had been to finally having her little sister back in her arms, and unparalleled relief to see Rukia was alive and apparently well. She felt her lips curl into a smile. Any child who appeared to be 10 years old and could knock a grown man unconscious had to be healthy, at the very least.

She looked up at the five paths before her, weighing her options. Did she follow Rukia in an almost hopeless attempt before sundown – which appeared to be imminent – or go back? A thought hit her like a punch to the gut, _'What do I _say_ to her?'_ She'd been so intent on just finding her sister for so long, Hisana had never stopped to consider what she would do when she found her, _'I can hardly walk up to a child and say, 'Hello, I'm your older sister, but you don't know me because I abandoned you before you could talk'.'_ Hisana shook her head in disgust at herself. She couldn't talk to Rukia without coming up with something to say ahead of time, and she _did _still have to play the _koto_ tonight, and with her hands in this condition…she sighed, "I'll come back for you, Rukia. I'm so glad you're alive."

* * *

><p>Byakuya really needed to work on his sneaking-around-in-the-morning skills. Once again, he was caught leaving the manor to go see Hisana, but this time, by his father.<p>

"…_Ohayou gozaimasu,_ Otou-sama." This was kind of awkward. He assumed most fathers didn't find their sons climbing over the wall of their home.

Soujun smiled up at him – honestly, why did Byakuya feel the need to hop the wall when he could just as easily go through the front gate? Teenagers. "Good morning, Byakuya. Headed to train in the 76th District?"

"_Hai_," Alright, after two and a half years of sneaking out, it was now kind of a lie. He didn't do much training on his days out anymore.

"Well, I just thought I'd let you know that I'm going out on a mission today, and I won't be here when you get back."

Byakuya nodded, "Will you be in Rukongai?"

"Yes, in the East 63rd District. There's been an outbreak of Hollows recently, and we can't ignore it. Speaking of what can't be ignored…" he gave Byakuya a meaningful look, "I know you have Sundays off at the moment, but when do you plan to visit Hisana-san when you become a fully-fledged Shinigami? "

Byakuya cringed internally. It wasn't as if the thought hadn't occurred to him. He was a rookie member of the 6th Squad now. He knew his zanpaku-to's name, Senbonzakura, but his shikai was weak and uncontrollable, so he was as of yet unranked. In peaceful times like these, unranked Shinigami had the privilege of taking Sundays off, with the intent that they would train to become strong enough to become seated officers, with more responsibilities, but he had to admit…his priorities weren't on training at the moment.

"I need to learn to control Senbonzakura before I can worry about that." Byakuya responded, avoiding the underlying question in his dad's question.

Soujun chuckled under his breath, "That's true. Well, as long as you know what you're doing. I'll see you when I return."

"When will that be?" Missions could last anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks, and personally, Byakuya was praying for no longer than a few days. Being in the house sucked on principle, but without his dad it was even worse. The House wasted no time in using Soujun's absence to get on Byakuya and his habits. _'And fine,' _he thought half-reluctantly, _'I'd miss him a little if he was on this mission for too long a time. A _little_.' _He was a man now; he couldn't just go around missing his dad like a child.

"I'll return in a few days. I hope you'll be working on your zanpaku-to when I come back."

"I will see you then, Otou-sama." Byakuya turned to jump onto the street below.

"Give my regards to Hisana-san," his father called, walking away.

Byakuya hesitated before turning back, "Otou-sama!"

Soujun looked back, eyebrows raised in a question.

He hesitated, but called back, "Be safe."

Soujun smiled, "I always am." He waved back at his son, walking towards the front gate.

* * *

><p>Hisana moaned softly to herself, soaking her hands in the frigid river. When she got back to the Ume the night before, the splinters had caused her hands to swell up painfully, and Chitose needed to look only once before deciding that playing the <em>koto<em> was out of the question. She had scolded Hisana for being careless before telling her to soak her hands, to dampen the splinters in the hope that they would fall out.

'_She must have pulled that suggestion out of thin air.'_ Hisana thought bitterly. If anything, her hands had gotten worse, and she now realized that the water had probably made the wood soggy, preventing her from pulling them out of her skin. Not one splinter had fallen out on its own, and her hands were painful to any sort of stimuli. The only pro to shoving her hands in the water was that the cold current kept her hands in a numb state, keeping the pain at bay.

"What did you do?"

Hisana felt her heart skip a beat before she even looked up to see Byakuya looking at her with a thoroughly confused face, clad in a Shinigami's shihakushou, his zanpaku-to on his left hip. He had really grown into himself over the past two years – no longer a teenager, but a man now. And certainly not an unattractive man either.

Byakuya bent down, pulling her hand out of the river and grabbing her wrist so he could more easily see the damage, "What did you _do_?" he repeated, now appearing concerned, gently inspecting her hand by running a finger over the swollen skin. Hisana felt her face heat up at the touch, silently praying he wouldn't notice her now-accelerated heartbeat.

"I slid down a wooden pole," she mumbled, not looking him in the eye, because then he'd _definitely_ notice she was blushing.

"Evidently," he replied, closing his eyes in apparent concentration. Hisana yelped and resisted pulling back when his hand glowed green. "Relax. It's kidô. It should heal your hand," he kept hold of her wrist with one hand, resting the glowing hand in the air over it. Sure enough, the pain in her hand started to recede, and she could see the splinters being pushed out of her palm.

"How are you doing that?" she asked, mesmerized.

"Healing kidô works by using the patient's own reiatsu to heal the patient. The healer is merely manipulating it. I'm encouraging your reiatsu to push the splinters out and close the wounds."

He lowered her hand and grabbed the other, continuing the same procedure. Hisana held up the healed hand, staring at it in wonder, "Thank you so much, Byakuya-sama." She couldn't think of an instance where she had said those words with more sincerity.

Byakuya didn't look her in the eye, "I could hardly let you continue to be in pain," he simply said, concentrating on healing her other hand.

Hisana smiled, only barely restraining it from being a full-blown, goofy grin. She had developed something of a crush on her best friend. There, she admitted it. But she couldn't think of anyone she'd rather be with at any time, anywhere, in any situation. She woke up, she thought of him. She played the _koto_, she thought of him. She scrambled through Rukongai, searching for Rukia, and he still didn't leave her thoughts. It wasn't just that he was physically attractive either, she knew this for sure. Every word he said, from kind gestures like just now or day-to-day monotony at the Kuchiki manor, made her heart start to pound harder, and she felt like she was constantly fighting her face to keep it from blushing.

Byakuya turned her hand over, giving it a final inspection before lowering it, placing it on her lap, "That should be all the splinters. Don't slide down poles again. Why did you in the first place?"

"Oh, I…I was in a rush." She looked away. She had yet to tell him about Rukia, about the biggest regret and mistake in her life. She just couldn't. What if he was repulsed by it and stopped coming to see her? She couldn't bear the thought.

"Someday you'll have to tell me what that look in your eyes means when I ask you about what you do when I'm not around." He muttered, looking up at the sky. It bothered him. Not necessarily that she was keeping things from him (which _was_ a little annoying), but that he couldn't help if he didn't know what was going on. There was no one he wanted to help more. He wished he could bring her to live in a better place than this dismal district, but the moving of Rukongai residents by Shinigami was absolutely forbidden. The only way they could relocate was if they did it themselves. And Hisana did not seem inclined to do so.

"I will," she whispered in reply, so quiet she wasn't sure if he could hear it, and laid back on the bank.

Byakuya smiled, "I will look forward to it," he formally responded, lying back a meter or so beside her.

Hisana looked over at him, ignoring the skipping of her heart, "How was your week as a Shinigami?"

"No different than the past year's worth of weeks," he replied shortly, but not unkindly, "My zanpaku-to is consistent in its resistance to let me control it."

"Maybe you should try talking to it about why it's so resistant?" Hisana suggested. She had no idea how zanpaku-to worked, but from the way Byakuya described it, he might as well be referring to Senbonzakura as coherent a being as another Shinigami. Maybe the zanpaku-to had feelings like any other being.

Byakuya considered the idea, "Perhaps. I promised Otou-sama that I would train with my zanpaku-to with more…focus than I have recently. I'll give that suggestion a try."

Hisana smiled, "Has your father been well?"

"He has, thank you."

Hisana had been back to the Kuchiki manor a few times since her first visit as the _koto_ performer during their annual _hanami_. She'd returned for the _hanami_ in the subsequent years as well as a ceremony for some noble. Each time she'd visited, she barely spoke to Byakuya, and was always exceptionally formally when she did – they had a façade to keep up, after all. No one was supposed to know they were indeed close friends. But Soujun-sama never hesitated to come speak to her. He looked so much like Byakuya, they could be twins, but their personalities were quite different, and Hisana liked that. Their personalities contrasted in a complimentary way, and it made watching Byakuya interact with his father a much more entertaining and refreshing experience. She loved seeing such a happy family, even if it was only two people.

"Byakuya-sama?"

"Yes?"

Hisana bit her lip, contemplating, "If I told you something…would you promise to hear me out?"

Byakuya looked over at her, assuming as solemn a look as he could, "Of course."

Hisana watched the sky above her, speaking slowly, "When…when I came to the Soul Society…I didn't come alone."

"I see," Byakuya spoke quietly, unsure of how to proceed. He had a feeling that this was the very thing that had been bothering her for as long as he'd known her, "Did something happen to that person?"

"No. I mean, yes. I mean…" Hisana took a shaky breath, "It was my little sister. We died together in the World of the Living, and when we came to Rukongai…I couldn't…Inuzuri was a terrible place to live, and I panicked, and I was selfish, and I-I…!" She shut her eyes, covering her face with her hands, and suddenly she was telling Byakuya everything. She was used to telling him how she felt on mundane matters – work at the Ume, the weather, the Kuchiki family – but she had never spoken a word about Rukia to another soul, and everything started pouring out with her tears. She told him about the letter to the old woman she left with Rukia, how agonized she felt when she thought of the family she could have had when she saw Byakuya with his father, her trips to Inuzuri, her discovery of Rukia today, her weakness, her regret…everything.

What felt like days later, Hisana trailed off, now sitting up, still covering her face, tears still streaming from her eyes. "So…so that's all. I'll understand if you, if you don't want to be around such a selfish person anymore," she choked out. She _would_ understand, but she knew it would break her if he did leave. What would she do? All the flavor she had left in this afterlife would be gone if Byakuya decided to not come back.

Byakuya hadn't spoken at all throughout her rant, and he was now sitting up as well, having inched closer to Hisana, unsure of what to do. He had known that life in Rukongai was rough, but he had never considered that it could be this bad. But he was sure of one thing, one thing that he did know.

He reached over, gently pulling a hand from Hisana's face so he could look her in the eye, speaking slowly, "Hisana, listen to me. I'm sorry that you've had to bear this alone all this time. It's unfair to ask that of anyone, and you've been very strong to endure it."

She opened her mouth to protest, but Byakuya raised his other hand in a silent gesture, "Let me finish. You have already proven that it's not too late. She, Rukia, is alive, and you know where she is. You will find her again one day, and you will know what to say to make her understand, just as you explained it to me. And you will have the family that you want so badly."

He hadn't known what to expect from his words, but he didn't expect Hisana's eyes to brim over with more tears and watch her succumb to another round of sobs. He gripped the hand he had taken from her face, and continued, softly, "Hisana, I do not think you're a bad person because of this. If anything, I feel as though I understand you better, and see that you're a braver person than I thought. Do you believe me?"

Hisana nodded, covering her mouth to silence the sobbing, "I believe you," she whispered, her voice cracked with tears, "I believe you, thank you. Thank you Byakuya-sama…I believe you." She squeezed his hand as she composed herself, rubbing the tears away with her free hand.

As Byakuya watched calm down and smile weakly up at him, he fell in love the way you fall asleep. Slowly at first, and then all at once.

* * *

><p>Byakuya walked through the front gates, leaning against them as they closed. He had never felt this way before. Sure, he'd begun to have other feelings for Hisana than simply what might be considered "friendly" feelings, but this…this washed over him as unyielding as the current of the river. He couldn't stop it, and didn't want to. <em>'Otou-sama knew,'<em> Byakuya realized suddenly. _That_ had been the reason his dad had never questioned his ventures to Rukongai – he had realized before Byakuya himself had. _'I need to tell him. Tell him and thank him for letting me go,' _he resolved, starting to walk in the direction of his father's office.

"Byakuya, there you are."

Byakuya looked up to see his grandfather walking towards him, a serious expression on his face. Not that that actually meant anything – Kuchiki Ginrei was never anything _but_ serious.

"Ojii-sama, _konbanwa_," he bowed respectfully to his grandfather. He didn't love him as much as he loved his father, but his grandfather respected him in a different way than just as the heir of the family. Kuchiki Ginrei was a strict man, but he was supportive and at least always seemed to have Byakuya's best interests at heart. "Were you looking for me, Ojii-sama?"

Byakuya hadn't noticed at first, due to the dim lighting in the night, but as he looked up at the old man, he noticed that his face seemed drawn tight, and utterly exhausted. Then a thought occurred to him, "Wait, weren't you on a mission today, Ojii-sama? Otou-sama said it would take a few days. Did you already extinguish the Hollows?"

His grandfather looked at the younger man, speaking in a voice quite unlike him: aggrieved, "Byakuya, we need to talk."

* * *

><p>Hisana sat outside the Ume, playing the <em>koto<em>. The crowd around her was the usual size – maybe five or six people stood in front of her, enjoying the sound. It had been three days since she'd confessed to Byakuya about Rukia, and she felt an enormous weight off her shoulders. Chitose had noted it when she'd played the nights before: _"You play like your arms are going to take off like a bird's wings!"_ she joked, at the way that Hisana moved her elbows when keeping time as she played. She supposed she must be particularly energetic now.

_'There must be something to sharing pain,'_ she considered, _'It's as though it's carried by two sets of shoulders than just one.'_

She looked up into the crowd as she played, smiling at a little boy who was leaning into an older woman's leg, possibly his mother. She was filled with a renewed hope for this relationship for herself – she would have it one day, with Rukia.

Someone else joined the crowd, joining at the edge, their face hidden. But it didn't matter, and Hisana had to make a conscious effort to keep her jaw from dropping. Byakuya was standing there, in peasant's clothing dirty as any other Rukongai resident's, and he caught her eye for a second before walking off, in the direction of their river.

_'He never comes at night. Why tonight?'_ her heart constricted. Surprised as she was, she was thrilled to see him as frequently as twice a week. It was a rare treat.

She picked up the tempo of her piece, going so far as to skip an entire section, and ended her performance half an hour early as a result. She bowed to the surprised and markedly disappointed crowd before taking off towards the river, ignoring Chitose's calls behind her.

When she got to the bank, she saw Byakuya's silhouette, lit by the full moon that rose above them. She half-ran over to him, sitting beside him, close enough to touch, "It's wonderful to see you, Byakuya-sama. But why are you – Byakuya-sama, is something wrong?" she cut off, suddenly realizing that his face was glazed over, and drawn in fatigue, as though he might pass out on the spot.

Byakuya had his arms laid across his knees, which he'd drawn close enough to his body that they were at eye-level. He didn't speak at first, and simply laid his head on his arms, hiding his face. Hisana knew something was very wrong when she saw his hands clench on his knees, "Byakuya-sama, please…I want to help. Did something—?"

"I wanted to come sooner," he started, his voice raw with what sounded like misuse, "But it's the eldest son's responsibility to, to arrange the funeral, and it took days…"

Hisana stared for a minute, not understanding. Then she felt it sink in, and the color drained from her face, "Soujun-sama," she whispered, pain seeping into her voice.

She knew she was horribly right when Byakuya's hands clenched into fists, gripping the fabric of his _hakama_, and his shoulders started shaking with what Hisana realized with horror were sobs.

_'Grief knows no bounds,'_ she thought, feeling tears of her own fall down her face. Not a week after she had wished aloud for a family like Byakuya's, she was witnessing its break. She realized with a stab to the heart that he probably hadn't let himself cry over his father yet – he was loosing a lifetime's worth of grief in front of her, silently asking for help, and comfort.

She moved closer to Byakuya, hesitantly, putting a hand on his shoulder, "I'm so…I'm so sorry, Byakuya-sama." When he didn't shrug her off, she wrapped her arm around him in an awkward but strong half-hug, pressing her face into his shoulder. She reached out to take his closer hand in her other hand, "I'm so, so sorry."

* * *

><p>AN: You know it had to come…But I didn't want to do it. I swear. I'm totally going to sleep crying tonight.

I promise next chapter will be less depressing than this one. I was running out of ways to describe crying. But we all know how this story has to end. Gods, what a tragic love story we have here. Hope you enjoyed this chapter nonetheless!

By the way, has anyone noticed what I'm doing with the chapter titles? I'm trying to match the theme and general mood of the chapters with a musical term. Like, this one is "interlude" because Hisana's discovery of Rukia and Soujun's death are unexpected, short episodes in their lives. Hope I can keep this up!

Furthermore, did anyone catch the _The Fault in Our Stars_ reference? I will love you forever if you did.

Oh, and to the reviewer Toushirou-chan: I can't respond to your questions if you don't post as a User, haha. Send me a private message if you want answers to your questions. (:

Japanese Words Index:

_Ohayou gozaimasu_: Good morning. _Ohayou_ is informal.

_Konbanwa_: Good evening.


	5. Waltz

Hisana ran through the forest connecting the 77th and 76th Districts, ignoring the branches cutting her face and underbrush attacking her feet. She was putting all of her energy into running away, and she didn't have the thought to scream in fright at the Hollow that was chasing her down. It was all she could do to just find her path in the dark, as night had fallen an hour ago.

She heard the Hollow howl behind her, mowing over trees as it followed her. _'_Doushiyou? _What do I do?'_ she thought frantically, jumping down a ledge and taking off again without a moment's hesitation, _'I can't stop to fight it, it will kill me before I can even remember how to attack like Byakuya-sama told me,' _

Suddenly, a root snagged her foot, and with a shriek she fell, landing on her side in the dirt. Hisana scrambled to stand up, but the Hollow had caught up and was looming over her. Now she found the voice to scream, but couldn't with the Hollow's spiritual pressure crushing her down, and she could only look wide-eyed in terror at the claw coming towards her…

"_Chire, Senbonzakura!_"

The Hollow screamed as it was cut by a flurry of blossom-shaped blades, batting away the huge, pink cloud in pain. It turned to run, but Byakuya stepped in front of Hisana, and raised his hands in the Hollow's direction, "Hadô no sanjuusan: _Soukatsui_!" Hisana stared, transfixed, as the Hollow vanished in a wave of blue fire, and was gone when the fire faded.

Byakuya whipped around, falling to his knees, "Are you alright, Hisana?" he asked quickly, taking her arm to inspect the various cuts from her flight.

Hisana nodded, swallowing back the scream that lingered in her throat, "_Daijoubu desu_, Byakuya-sama," she replied hoarsely. Byakuya looked her in the eye, and she could tell that he thought she was lying. She cleared her throat, finding her normal voice again, "Really, I'm fine. Just…just a little winded. Thank you for saving me."

Byakuya sighed, returning her arm to her, but moved his hand to barely touch his fingertips to her cheek, "I'm only relieved that I came when I did. I'm glad you're safe."

Closing her eyes, Hisana tried to control her now-erratic heartbeat, "I'm glad you were there," she whispered. She opened her eyes and saw that her savior was studying her face, and she blushed, rushing to change the subject, "You've really become good at working with Senbonzakura, Byakuya-sama."

He lifted the empty hilt, pulling his hand away from her face. Hisana watched in wonder as the blades came back to him, forming a single, glowing sword before dimming and looking like any other zanpaku-to, "At first, there were only a few blades – only about a thousand, as the name suggests. But I think that after the years of training I've done with Senbonzakura, the blades have become innumerable," he explained, sheathed the sword, standing up and holding out a hand to her.

Hisana took the offer and pulled herself up, but didn't release his hand. When he didn't try to pull it back, she smiled up at him, smiling wider when his lips curved just slightly into a crooked smile, and started walking towards the river, Byakuya walking beside her. It had been 20 years since Soujun had died, and a lot of things had changed: some for better, some for worse.

For one thing, after Byakuya had broken down in front of her and completely dropped his guard to mourn his father, they had become unquestionably closer. Hisana frequently wondered what their current relationship even was. It had been bothering her for the past two decades, but she'd never had the courage to ask, so she settled for what they had.

There were no longer any boundaries between them, mentally and physically. They were completely truthful to each other and told each other everything. Byakuya was a seated officer now, and he could only come once, maybe twice, a week at night to see her, and she treasured every second. What was more, instances like this, where they would hold hands or touch one another's face for a moment, were nothing unusual. It was this more than anything that had Hisana wondering whether they were still classified as best friends, or if they were actually…? She always pushed away the thought. Yes, she was in love with him, there was no doubt in her mind. But could she really tell him that?

All wasn't perfect, as she saw in Byakuya's face every time he came back from a particularly bad row with the Kuchiki-_ke_ elders. Since his father's death, the dynamic had changed between Byakuya and the leaders of the family. He no longer had his father standing up for him at every turn and obstacle, and from what she'd come to understand from Byakuya's abbreviated comments on the matter, Soujun had stood up for him far more than he'd realized. They were now grinding him down, setting up barriers he hadn't had before, and were wearing down his personality. He never showed vibrant emotion these days, whether very happy, angry, or devastated. Hisana didn't particularly mind the change in personality, but she did miss the days when he would chase Shihoin Yoruichi, who had followed him again, in fury, leaving her in laughter.

"Is something funny, Hisana?"

Hisana jumped slightly, coming out of her reverie, "Oh! What makes you ask, Byakuya-sama?"

"You're smiling as though you were remembering something."

"Oh, I…" she hesitated. They had never specifically said so, but the topic of Shihoin Yoruichi seemed to be somewhat of a touchy subject. She had committed crimes against the Soul Society, Byakuya had told her rigidly, years ago, and had fled. Hisana strongly suspected that he had cared for her, in his own way. As much as he'd complained about her, Hisana had to wonder if she had actually been one of his friends as well. Regardless, they always did tell each other everything… "I was just remembering when Yoruichi-sama would come here secretly, and it would always irritate you so much."

Byakuya nodded vaguely, "That always did amuse you."

Hisana tilted her head slightly, looking up at him, "Is something wrong? You seem a little bit distracted."

He squeezed her hand, but continued looking ahead, "Other than the fact that you were just seconds away from death?"

She cringed, "_Moushiwake arimasen_…I'm sorry to have worried you,"

She didn't see his face, but heard him exhale softly, "No, don't apologize. I'm not angry with you. You're right, I am distracted tonight. The elders were less than charitable towards my father today, and I not ashamed to admit that I left that conversation promptly. I do _not_ like to know that they are so ungrateful towards a man that did their bidding, even though it was not necessarily what he wanted."

Hisana did look up at him again this time, frowning at how taut his face was now. She wondered what they could have possibly said to bother him this much, but she didn't press it. It wasn't something she needed to know, "I'm sorry, Byakuya-sama. I miss Soujun-sama, too."

Byakuya sighed inwardly, closing his eyes. He didn't respond, but he knew that Hisana wouldn't mind. How had it come to this? 20 had passed since he'd realized that he'd fallen in love with the woman he was holding hands with now, and still he had never told her so. It was true that he had been absorbed in becoming a top-notch Shinigami and handling the family and, between everything, making time to come here, but he still doubted that warranted an excuse for such a lengthy amount of time to _not_ come up with a way to tell her.

Though right now, he was trying quite hard to forget everything that had happened at the house today. His father, who had never wanted to be a Shinigami, but did so because the House asked him to, had died in battle and they did nothing but _ridicule_ him. Somehow, at the meeting today, the conversation had turned to _why_ his father had fallen.

"_He always was too nice. He didn't have the appropriate tenacity to handle such trying situations. Why did he not attempt to become more like Ginrei-sama?"_

"_No, he was too quiet. The only times he ever spoke his opinion were those days when he would so pretentiously rebuke us for how Byakuya-sama should be raised. And look at him now! We have turned him into an appropriate future lord of this house. We were right, in the end."_

Without a word, he had stood up and left the room, ignoring the protests behind him. It sickened him. And that was not to mention the increasingly frequent conversations on arranging a marriage for him. He always refused the offers the instant they were mentioned, and his grandfather, who had taken to supporting Byakuya like his father had, always agreed, saying Byakuya was still young. Since the elders could not argue with both the Head of the Family and the heir, the conversation always ended there. But he knew that one day, perhaps someday soon, his grandfather would start to agree with the elders.

He looked up and saw that they had arrived at the river, and that meant it was time for him to return – the short battle and walk back had taken away all the time they had to spend together tonight.

Byakuya took a deep breath, pondering, before saying suddenly, "Hisana."

"Yes?" Hisana looked up at him with those violet-blue eyes that seemed almost translucent at this time of night. The stars reflected in them so well, you would almost think that her eyes could be mirrors of the night sky.

She frowned, looking concerned, "Is something wrong?"

Byakuya blinked, looking away, realizing he'd been staring. This was getting ridiculous, "If I told you something you didn't want to hear, would you not want to see me anymore?"

Hisana looked positively alarmed, "What? N-no, that's not-! I mean, of course I'd want to see you!" She waved her hand frantically in front of her face, "I mean, I can't think of anything that you could possibly say that would make you, I mean make me, not want to-! Um!...What?" she took a few steadying breaths, "That is…what do you mean, Byakuya-sama?"

Byakuya watched her episode in amusement – she should become this agitated more often, "I'll tell you another day. Do you think you could take a free day a week from tomorrow?"

"Y-you mean…You want me to ask for a day off? Why?"

He hesitated slightly before responding, "I'm being given a day off that day myself, and I merely wondered if you would do me the honor of accompanying me."

Hisana's face lit up, and he had to resist smiling in return. Gods, she was beautiful, "Yes, of course! It's been a long time since we've been able to spend more than a few hours together. I'd be honored, Byakuya-sama!"

"Then," he lifted their joined hands, kissing the top of hers briefly before letting go and continuing towards the Seireitei, "I will see you in a week."

When Byakuya vanished in a blur, that move Hisana remembered as _shunpo_, she found she had frozen. She raised her hand and noticed that her skin was blushing such a vibrant red that she could tell easily even in the dim moonlight. _That _was new. He had _never _kissed her before, simply on the hand or , so she had been madly in love with him for years, _'But there's no way he could possibly feel the same for me_,' she thought, not without a sick drop in her stomach.

* * *

><p>A week later, Hisana stood on the bank of the river bouncing lightly on the balls of her feet and twisting a lock of hair nervously. It was wholly irrational, of course. He'd come for whole days before. Granted, it had been years and years, and their relationship had been…simpler then, but honestly, this anxiety was ludicrous.<p>

She heard the familiar rustling of underbrush a few meters away and turned to see Byakuya walking out of the forest with Rukongai peasant clothes on. Hisana gaped, "Why-?"

"I can hardly walk around in a shihakushou without drawing attention to myself," he replied smoothly, coming to stand in front of her.

She glanced him over quickly (_gods_, he was handsome) and saw one fatal error, and she had to purse her lips to keep from smiling at the mistake. Hisana craned her neck a little to see his face – since when was he _so_ much taller than her? "You know, I don't think anyone in these base districts has clothes quite as clean as yours, Byakuya-sama. You'll stand out besides."

"If you prefer, I could leave and return in my usual attire."

"No, you don't have to!" she said, and with a mental curse realized how quickly she'd said it, feeling a blush creep into her cheeks, "I mean…you don't have to do that, since you're already here."

And once more, she felt her heart accelerate when he returned her comment with a crooked smile and a proffered hand, "Then it's not a problem, is it?"

"_Iie_," she breathed, taking his hand, "Anyway, Byakuya-sama, was there anything you wanted to do today?"

"Well…what do you usually do when you have free time?" He hadn't exactly thought this part through…Sure, any spare minute with Hisana was a great use of time, but just standing here for hours wasn't going to be very exciting.

Hisana's gaze turned a little far away, "When I'm not meeting you…I look for Rukia. I'm not able to do it often, but every minute counts, you know?"

Byakuya nodded, "Then, let's go."

"What?" Hisana yelped, "No, I wouldn't want to ask you to help fix my mistake! And it's almost always just walking around aimlessly, it's not exciting at all. Inuzuri is hardly a good place –."

"And I can hardly take you away from something that's so important to you," Byakuya replied back smoothly, gesturing in the direction of the district, "And I'd like to help you."

Hisana just stared back at him, "You…you are the most…"

"Yes?"

Happy sigh, "Nothing, I'm just very fond of you. Shall we?"

"We shall."

* * *

><p>Despite having an audience today, Hisana spared no expense in searching for Rukia. She did everything just as usual, starting with asking the first 20 people she met if they'd seen a girl with black hair and a purple <em>yukata<em> that looked like her. On most days, she received no leads, but today was different.

Apparently, some kids had stolen some sugar candy earlier that day, and one of the children involved had matched her description, according to the bystander she'd asked. Unfortunately, the location in question was all the way across Inuzuri. But fortunately, on the other hand, she had a pleasant way to pass the time today.

"You do this every day?" Byakuya asked, duly impressed.

"Every day that I have a little bit of free time, yes. I wish I could search more…but I can only search so much before sundown," she replied, thoughtful.

"This is that important to you." It wasn't a question.

Hisana smiled sadly, looking up at him as they walked, "_Hai_. No matter what, I _must_ find her. What I did was unacceptable, and I have to make up for it. I won't leave her here in this district, alone. Although, I'm glad to hear that she's made…friends, if they are indeed innocent children."

"Hm," was the short reply.

They continued walking towards the scene of the thievery, their conversations short and intermittent, but Hisana was just content to be with him. And though she didn't know it, he felt the same.

When they reached the street and found the shopkeeper who had been stolen from, he was maddeningly unhelpful:

"Yeah, some damn _brats_ stole candy that I worked goddamn _hard_ to get. Coulda been a girl with 'em, I dunno. What I wouldn't give to leave this damn, rotten, rat-infested, thieving—."

"I'm sorry for your loss, but where—?"

"Like I care, _onna_! I was too busy finding my frigging weapon to beat the goods out of 'em, like I even saw where they were _headed_."

"So you didn't even notice what _direction_—?"

"No! Now get out of my face, I've had enough crap to put up with today, I don't need you and your frigging boyfriend to add to my problems!"

* * *

><p>Thus ended that little, disappointing episode that left Hisana in somewhat dimmer spirits. Byakuya suggested they take the long way back, through the woods rather than through the town, since they still had some daylight. Hisana agreed, not really wanting to deal with more rudeness from the district that she had left.<p>

"I'm sorry that you didn't find her," he told her, once they were under the cover of the trees.

Hisana shook her head, "No, it was a vain hope. She could have been anywhere by that point."

Byakuya frowned, "And yet you will always continue to search for her." No, that was _not_ possessive jealousy in his voice – he was _not_ envious of the resolve she showed when it came to another person.

Hisana nodded, "Yes, always."

They lapsed back into silence, but this time, Hisana wished he would fill it. She didn't like to ask for comfort, seeing as she wanted to bother as few people as possible, but right now, she wanted to hear something more positive than her dismal situation, "Byakuya-sama, you said there was something you wanted to tell me. What was it?"

Byakuya looked back at her, frowning, "I did?"

Hisana turned red, wondering if she'd heard wrong, "Er, that is, you said there was a question that I wouldn't want to hear, which is of course completely irrational, but I don't know, it was just something in the back of my mind, you don't have to say anything, I just remembered you asking a question," she explained in a flurry, her words running together.

Recognition flared in the back of Byakuya's eyes, "So I did," he replied shortly, turning away to look at the trees above them, turning red in the light of the sunset.

Sure she'd said something wrong, Hisana spoke up, "Byakuya-sama, is something—?"

"Please wait," he interjected, holding up a hand, "I'm just deciding how to best put my thoughts into words." He stopped walking, still avoiding looking at her.

Hisana stopped beside him. What could she do but wait, in this situation? She wanted to know what was bothering him so much, but she couldn't pester him and, somehow, it seemed like holding his hand or something would only make the situation awkward.

After a few minutes, Byakuya closed his eyes in thought briefly before looking down at Hisana, hesitant, "Hisana, what…I can tell that you are, forgive me if this is arrogant, happy when I come to see you. No, wait," he stopped, silencing her immediate agreement with a quiet hand, "Let me finish. And I…I can honestly tell you that coming to see you is unquestionably…I'm always…That is to say…you…" he stumbled, before giving up and raising a hand to cover his face in embarrassment.

Hisana tried to see his face, despite the hand, and felt her heart skip a beat to see that he was blushing. _Really_ blushing. This person whom she had watched grow from a wildly tempered young adult into an austere yet heart-wrenchingly sincere man was blushing like any maiden. The very thought brought a grin to her face. Surely it was a little rude to smile at his pain, but it was cute! – what could she do?

So she stepped to his side and reached out, covering the hand by his side with both of hers, "I love you," she simply said, looking up at him, and watched his eyes snap open, boring into her own eyes, "I love you, Byakuya-sama. I can't count the number of years it's been true." That sudden realization made _her_ blush, realizing how pathetic it sounded – how weak she was, holding that feeling down for so many years!

But she was brought out of her moment of self-decrepitation when Byakuya lowered his hand from his face, resting the tips of his fingers on her cheek, "I would ask if you were being honest," he began, speaking deliberately slow, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear, "but I know that you only ever speak the truth. And today in particular, I am very happy for that." And suddenly, his mouth was on hers.

Hisana choked back a gasp, startled, before closing her eyes and letting herself be kissed. She had never kissed anyone before, and she was starting to think maybe Byakuya hadn't either. But it was pleasant, she noted vaguely. No, better than that. Her heart was pumping so hard, she could hear it in her ears as she put her hand over the one he'd placed on her cheek.

When he pulled away after a few seconds, she smiled, small at first, before it became a full blown joyous laugh, and he smiled back. Not the usual, half, I'm-a-stoic-person-so-I'm-not-going-to-show-how-happy-I-really-am smile, but a genuine, unmasked happiness spread across his face as Hisana framed his face with her hands, pulling him down for another kiss.

* * *

><p>AN: I am alive! How irritating that flighty temptress, Inspiration, is! The last time I had a flurry of inspiration, it came during mid-terms. This time, it arrived in the middle of a very annoying, gross cold at 11:30 p.m. O Muse, why dost thou have such a crappy sense of humour?

Alright, let me just come out and say it – this chapter feels more "fluffy" to me than any of the past ones, so I'm _very_ interested in your reviews this time. (Not that I'm not interested on a regular basis – I'm just particularly eager this chapter.) Regardless, I can't _wait_ to keep on keepin' on with this fic because now it's really going to be fun to write! We're almost to the point where she doesn't live in Rukongai anymore. It's annoying that I have the whole fic planned in my head, but never seem to have the time and concentration to get it on paper.

Also, I tried to throw in more Japanese this time, and I'd like to keep that up. I'm an East Asian Studies major with a focus in Japanese, and I just have this thing where I feel like a story feels more _authentic_ if the language the characters are theoretically speaking is thrown in here and there. And the _koto_ will be back next chapter by the way – it's still a relatively big part of the story, I haven't forgotten it.

Japanese Words Index

_Doushiyou_: "What do I do?" – I'm sure Orihime says it in great abundance…

_Chire_: "Scatter" – the release command for Senbonzakura – but you knew that, right?

_Hadô no sanjuusan: Soukatsui_: "Hadô #33: Pale Fire Crash"

_Daijoubu desu_: "I'm alright" – the _desu_ makes it more formal. _Daijoubu_ can stand on its own and mean the same thing.

_Moushiwake arimasen_: "My sincere apologies" – I've done this once before, but I figured I'd translate it again. Saying "_gozaimasen_" is more formal than "_arimasen_".

_Iie: _"No" – "_iya_" is a more informal way to say it.

_Hai: _"Yes"

_Onna: _"Woman" – but it's kind of rude to call someone this way. It's kind of like saying, "Hey, you woman! Get over here!"


	6. Duet

"Like this?" Byakuya asked, pressing down hard on the strings of the _koto_. He cringed as a finger slipped off clumsily, making an unpleasant twang as his nail snagged it.

Hisana giggled, scooting closer to him until their thighs were almost touching, "No, move this hand here…" she gently tilted his right hand up with hers, and reached around him to place her left hand on his, "…and these fingers here," she said, moving one of his fingers to a new string. She held her breath, very aware that her face was only a few centimeters from his cheek.

Byakuya glanced at her from the corner of his eye before smirking slightly and turning to sneak a quick kiss. "Thank you," he said simply, smiling at her dazed expression before turning back, "And I pluck by pulling upwards?"

Hisana retracted her arm to her lap, "Yes. Gently, but assuredly," she murmured, fighting to keep herself from beaming, but gave up when Byakuya played the notes correctly. The latest _hanami_ had been yesterday, but the second it was over, the heavens had opened up and released all the rain in the world. It was still storming, and Byakuya had convinced the House, with some toil, to allow Hisana to stay an extra night for her safety – and the two were making the most of the opportunity. After Byakuya asked if she would teach him how to play the _koto_, she had been duly surprised, but she'd agreed. He was proving to actually have some natural talent, despite the fact he claimed to have never played an instrument before.

After playing the same set of notes a few times, Byakuya leaned backed into more natural posture, inspecting his now-red fingertips, "I must admit, I didn't expect this to be a subtle form of injury."

Hisana laughed, raising her own callused fingers, "_Sou desu ne_. The strings _are_ made of silk, so they're not exactly dangerous, but at first, yes, I would imagine it's stressing on the skin. Although…" she paused, running her fingers gently on the calluses on his palm, "…you already have your share of stressed skin."

He smiled ruefully, "Shinigami end up with harsher wounds than calluses from the grip of their blades."

Frowning, Hisana nodded, "That's true…you didn't get wounded from that Hollow extermination three days ago, did you?"

"Nothing the 4th Squad wasn't able to heal completely," Byakuya said carefully. It wasn't as though he was trying to hide the dangers of Shinigami life from her, but he did hate to see her worry. About six months before, he had been in the 4th Squad, recuperating on a day he had intended to go to Rukongai. When he was finally able to go see Hisana, he found her so out of her mind with worry, it had taken a painstaking 10 minutes to assure her that he was perfectly fine. She had since become more accustomed to the injuries he acquired, now simply requesting he just tell her if he was still injured or not (and those times that he was? She barely let him move, as if she feared that him walking five feet would reopen the 3 centimeter cut on his hand. It was cute though.)

Hisana sighed, "I'm glad to hear that." She froze, "Not that you were injured! That you were healed! I mean, it's terrible that you were wounded, but I'm glad they were able to—" she was stopped by another unexpected kiss, gasping before kissing back happily, smiling against his lips as he brushed a hand lightly across her cheek before pulling back.

"You worry too much," Byakuya rebuked half-heartedly, smiling at her.

Hisana opened her mouth indignantly to reply, but was interrupted by a quiet knock at the door, "Byakuya-sama, the family elders and Ginrei-sama request your presence in the conference hall."

Hisana scooted away from Byakuya frantically as the servant outside opened the door. She was already five meters away by the time the servant, kneeling on her knees on the walkway outside, raised her eyes to see inside the room. She did get the feeling the servant was giving her a bit too much of a searching look, but this was an innocent enough sight, wasn't it? The heir to the Kuchiki-_ke_ sitting in front of the _koto_, the hired performer watching modestly a safe distance away?

Byakuya rose, "Very well, I'm going now." He turned to Hisana, bowing in a way that he should to a Rukongai resident – a short nod of the head, "Thank you for the lesson."

Hisana bowed deeply on her knees, arms placed in front of her, her head bowed low, "I am honored that you wished to learn from me, Byakuya-sama."

Once she heard him leave, she raised her head to see the servant eying her, "_H-hai_? Is there anything I may do for you?"

The servant smirked a little. Hisana realized that she recognized her – she was one of the women who always helped her dress every time she came to the Kuchiki manor, "I'm from Rukongai as well, so don't be worrying that I'll tell on ye, but ye might want to be controlling that pretty blush of yours if a member of the family were to stop by on you and the young lord," she warned with a devilish grin.

Hisana flamed red, "I-I'm afraid I don't know what you're referring to."

The woman shook her head with a sigh, "I s'pose I'm not referring to anything at all m'dear. Nothing at all," she smiled, a hint of mischief touching her eyes, "Would you like to see the gardens? It's a bit wet for you to walk among the flowers of course, but they're still a sight to see from the house. S'pecially in this weather."

Hesitantly, Hisana nodded, "I'd like that. _Arigatou gozaimasu_."

* * *

><p>Byakuya entered the room, nodding at the servants who had opened the door for him before judging today's mood. The elders were all already looking at him, and not without a fair share of cross faces. Alright. So the mood was decidedly against him today.<p>

His grandfather was sitting in his spot at the front of the room, as the Head of the Family. He was wearing the same grim expression as the rest of the members of the family, which was the most ill-boding part of this situation. Ginrei Kuchiki had been on his side in most arguments regarding his future, given that the rest of the family rarely was, but Byakuya saw nothing promising in his grandfather's face today.

He moved to sit down in his usual spot, behind the Head, but Ginrei shook his head, "Byakuya, if you would sit facing the family today. We have an important matter to discuss with you, regarding you."

'_Meaning, once again, I'm going to have to shoot down a marriage suggestion,'_ he thought bitterly, moving to the center seat.

After a weighted pause, one of the more understanding elders spoke first, "Byakuya-sama, we understand that you would prefer to marry at a later time, but this has been put off for decades." He raised an acknowledging hand towards Byakuya, choosing his words carefully, "During that time, we wished to seek your approval for any marriage, but we feel that this has gone on too long. We have decided—"

"I think I should be the one to deliver this decision," Ginrei interrupted, not unkindly.

The elder bowed, gesturing that the Head should continue.

Ginrei looked at Byakuya across the room, a heavy expression on his face, and Byakuya felt a cold fear growing in his stomach. The last time he had seen his grandfather wear such a grim expression was the night he told Byakuya his father was dead. An expression that foretold the regret with which he was about to deliver news to his grandson.

"Byakuya, it is the decision of this family that you must marry soon. And given that you have not…shown a preference for any of the offers already given to you, we have chosen for you."

"I humbly refuse," Byakuya responded quickly, trying to hide his growing panic.

Ginrei frowned, his cold eyes shed of any previous emotion, "I'm afraid you cannot. It _is_ written within our laws that if, 50 years after the first proposition of a marriage to the heir of the family, the heir has not chosen to marry, the elders of the family will choose for them."

Byakuya opened his mouth to respond, but closed it after he realized he was gaping in panic. He knew that law. Of course he did. But he had never been told when the first proposition had been. He had assumed he had 5 years, at least, before the House chose for him.

He found his voice, dry as it was, "And there is nothing I can do?"

His grandfather studied his heir's face, trying to decide how to best end this, "We have deliberated long on this, and we have reached an auspicious match. We…I would not put you in an unhealthy position. You may not be happy now, but in time, it will come to you."

There was a collective, agreeing murmur from the elders, and Byakuya suddenly knew he'd lost. He had gravely miscalculated for the first time…and it was going to cost him Hisana.

He hid behind the mask that the family had crafted upon him through the years, and bowed respectfully, speaking in a stiff voice, "I am grateful for your careful consideration."

And he left the room.

* * *

><p>Byakuya stood on the porch outside the building, watching the rain fall on the garden before him. <em>'Stupid, stupid, stupid,'<em> he cursed himself over and over, emphasizing each word of abuse with a weak fist to the pole beside him. How could he have let this happen? All the things he could have done to prevent this rang in his head now, weighing down his shoulders. He could have checked when his deadline was, instead of assuming it was a safe distance away. He could have found out if there was a way to legally side-step this law, instead of ignoring the problem. He could have proposed to Hisana by now.

'_Why _haven't_ I done so already?'_ he thought angrily. What had he been stalling for? Had he been waiting to be sure she loved him? No, he knew she did – she wasn't exactly good at hiding what she was feeling. Had he been waiting for _her_ to suggest the idea? Perhaps…_ 'Although,'_ Byakuya thought bitterly, _'that is the worst excuse of a reason. I should have had the courage to bring it up myself. Stupid, stupid, stupid…'_

"Byakuya."

Byakuya turned, surprised to see his grandfather standing beside him.

"You seem to have a reason to be opposed to marriage outside of dislike of the institution," Ginrei observed, raising his eyebrows, "And enough to put you in an emotionally compromised situation."

Byakuya realized, shocked, that he had been holding back tears, and the rims of his eyes were no doubt red with the strain. He closed his eyes, willing the water to sink back – he was a grown man. He did _not_ cry.

Ginrei noticed this, turning to the gardens to let his grandson recover himself, "I am old, Byakuya. I am not ill, nor do I expect to fall in battle any time soon, but I do not possess the strength I used to have. My reflexes have faltered. I attain more injuries than I have in the past. An injured, weakened body is more than inviting to illnesses to further take me away."

He looked back to see Byakuya was still composing, and wondered vaguely if he was only making the situation worse, "I want…I would like to see you content, and prepared to be the Head of the Family as well as the 6th Squad Captain, sooner rather than later," he turned and put a hesitant hand on Byakuya's shoulder, and Byakuya looked back at him.

When had he grown up? Ginrei wondered. He looked at the man before him and saw his own son – his kind, thoughtful son – Soujun, just as he had looked the morning before he died. Byakuya had inherited his father's physical and mental traits and, while he knew that the family had done a bang-up job "perfecting" his personality, his father occasionally resurfaced in Byakuya's face. In those moments, Ginrei was sure that his grandson's stubborn personality won out over the family's, and he would keep his personality how he, and he alone, wanted it. He was ready, Ginrei knew, to be the Head of the Family and soon he would master his recently acquired bankai. Then he would be ready to be a young, talented, and strong captain and leader for the squad. He _was_ ready.

"I want to see you _happy_, Byakuya," he finished, releasing him and beginning to walk away.

"_Ojii-sama_."

Ginrei turned back.

Byakuya opened his mouth, a question on his tongue, but he swallowed it back. He considered, eyebrows knit, for a few seconds before trying again, "_Ojii-sama_, please. Is there nothing I can do?"

His grandfather paused, before sighing and shaking his head, "Byakuya, unless you are betrothed before the final agreement is signed tomorrow at noon, you are going to wed a member of the Shihoin-_ke_. It is done," he hesitated, but continued, "I did the best I could. She is a kind woman."

Byakuya nodded, "Thank you for…everything. I'm sorry if I ever disappoint you."

Ginrei shook his head before walking away, "You won't."

* * *

><p>Hisana hugged the pole of the porch beside her. The garden really was beautiful, especially with the now-drizzle that was coming down. She hadn't realized, but it was already night, and a new moon at that, so the only light was from the dying lanterns from within the house. She'd been here for an hour already, but it was certainly more comfortable than inside. Here she could breathe without the walls keeping cool breezes out, and enjoy the smell of the rain and the wet earth below her. <em>'It's a lovely house to be sure,'<em> she admitted, _'But there is a certain amount of confinement that overshadows everything you do.' _She eyed the place where she knew the wall surrounding the manor would be. How hard would it be to escape over that wall, she wondered…

"What are you doing all the way out here?"

Hisana turned, already smiling, "Byakuya!" It had been a battle of wills to get her to drop the honorific with his name, but after a few arguments and some coaxing, he had won in the end.

He walked over to stand beside her. Hisana frowned when she noticed he looked a little frazzled, "Is everything alright?"

"Now that I've spent half an hour running around trying to find you? Things could be better."

Hisana dropped her head, slightly ashamed, "I'm sorry. The maid who brought you the message asked if I'd like to come out here, and I just never went back…I'm sorry," she repeated.

Byakuya shook his head, "No…no, don't apologize." He looked at her, studying her face and gauging her mood. Not that it was going to matter what mood she was in. "We need to…talk," he emphasized the last word with a reason that Hisana could not wager.

She nodded slowly, "Maybe we should sit down?"

He nodded, going down to sit on the edge of the walkway, a mixed expression on his face. Hisana slipped down to sit beside him, sitting far enough away to give him the space he seemed to need, but close enough that she could be comforting if she needed to be.

She let him think for all the time that he needed, and eventually he spoke, "There is something that we…that _I_ have hesitated to bring up. What is going to become of us?"

Hisana frowned, her forehead creasing with thought, "You mean…after we die? Don't we go into the cycle of reincarnation, and our souls go back to the World of the Living?"

"That's not what I meant. I meant _us_, as in you and me," he explained, placing a hand on hers to underline his point.

"Oh." She blushed.

That syllable rang in the air, mixing with the quiet drops of rain before Hisana broke the silence, quietly, "What _is_ going to become of us?"

Byakuya looked directly in her eyes, all serious. He weaved his fingers with hers, leaving their hands resting on the wood between them, "This is something I should have brought up sooner, but now a choice is going to be made before tomorrow at noon. Hisana, the elders of my family have arranged a marriage for me. That is what they wanted to talk about. They intend to finalize it tomorrow."

Hisana stared at him. What had he said? She reformed the words in her head, reading them slowly, before the comprehension sunk in. She paled, suddenly dizzy, "But…but…_why_…?" she choked.

"They are displeased with my prolonging of the issue, and there is a law that essentially dictates that my time is no longer mine."

Hisana blinked back the panicked tears that were threatening to overflow, "And you…do you want to…to marry?"

Byakuya looked at her carefully, raising his free hand to wipe away the tears that had escaped, "No. I do not wish to marry who they have picked out. However, there is someone I do want to marry, and I intend to, if she will have me."

Hisana mouthed the question, clinging to the trust she had in him, in what they had become in all the time they had spent together from friends to lovers.

"I know that…life here would be very different. Not always in a good way. There are oppressive rules here and I will not lie and say I'm in favor in many of them. But…" he raised their joined hands to his chest, clenching her hand tighter, "I promise that I will do everything to make you comfortable, and happy. And I…" he stammered, the rush of emotions already wearing him down, "I love you. I swear, on everything I am, to always protect you. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?"

The tears flowed free, as Hisana gave up trying to hold them back. She let them go with a lifetime of relief and joy. She tried to speak, but found that she could get the words out. Covering her mouth to attempt to calm down, she nodded vigorously, leaning into him as he wrapped his arm around her, crushing her close. She gasped back tears, feeling the salty sweet taste at the back of her throat, "Yes. Yes, yes, I love you, yes," she whispered in a rush, kissing his neck once before laying her head against him, letting herself be held while she got her emotions under control.

Byakuya turned his head, pressing his lips into her hair before turning back, "Thank you," he said, the same relief and joy seeping into his reply.

They laid there for what felt like hours, waiting until the drizzle died out, and Byakuya spoke first, "You've met my grandfather before, haven't you?"

Hisana nodded against his chest, now vaguely wondering how much of a crime it was for her tears to be dirtying such expensive clothes, "Yes, a few times. He was very kind to me."

Byakuya moved to stand up, pulling his fiancée with him, "Come with me. I think he should be the first one to hear this decision."

* * *

><p>AN: I'm alive. I _am_ alive. It is 2:36 AM and I have been writing for hours because I'm so guilty that I've made you wait this long. And I still have 7 (8?) more chapters to go…I am sorry for my slow inspiration…

Well, all in all, this was fun to write. I wanted to try to explore Ginrei a little bit – hope that came off well. Again, this felt fluffy, but I got so many people saying they liked last chapter's fluff a lot that I figure, this won't bother too many readers.

I'm always eager for your opinions, so tell me what you think. Hopefully I'll get several more chapters written and up before summer vacation is over!

_Japanese Words Index_

_Sou desu ne_: Kind of like, "Yeah, I know, right?" I'm making it out to be more informal than it is, but so be it.

_Arigatou gozaimasu_: "Thank you very much"


	7. Nocturne

'_What have I gotten myself into?'_ Hisana thought darkly, glaring moodily at the stars and moon above her. She sat in her sleep clothes on the roof above where her room was, her knees drawn up to her chest. It had been two weeks since Byakuya's impromptu proposal, and their lives had been a tornado of activity since. _'Is this how it always is for nobility? Or shinigami? Or shinigami nobility?' _she pondered, concluding that it really made no difference.

Byakuya had brought her to speak with his grandfather, Kuchiki Ginrei-sama, right away to announce their engagement. Ginrei-sama had appeared shocked for a heart-stopping few seconds, before shaking his head, half a smile on his face.

"_Your father predicted as much,"_ he'd said, sounding amused, _"I will handle the elders. However…" _he had turned to Hisana, speaking with sudden gravity, _"They will want to speak with you directly."_

"_Not alone." _Byakuya had said immediately, sheer determination ringing through, and something that sounded like exasperation.

It was true that in the number of times over the past 14 days she had been forced to receive "ritual blessings" from the elders, Byakuya had always insisted on being there, despite his family's contradicting wish. And for sure, she was grateful. Every, _single_, time they spoke to her, it was with a new coldness. When she had just been the hired _koto_ player, they had kept a veneer of separation, but never unkind, exactly. Now, as the peasant fiancée of their heir, she was the victim of belittlement and blatantly cruel words.

She couldn't be sure, but it seemed like they alluded to unnecessary nobility-related topics, just to catch her off guard and accentuate how "un-noble" she was. Byakuya stopped them when he could, but one man against dozens couldn't always win.

Hisana leaned forward to rest her chin on her knees, wrapping her arms around her legs for comfort. Tomorrow was the wedding, and while she should be inside sleeping, her thoughts would not ebb to allow her to do so. Reminding herself of whom she was marrying and why was the only reason she was putting up with the verbal torture, "I don't regret it," she muttered, closing her eyes, "I don't regret it, I don't regret it. It's their fault if they don't like me. Their fault. Not mine. Their problem…"

"Not ours."

Hisana turned around to see Byakuya on the roof behind her. He walked forward, sliding down to sit beside her, "You're getting cold feet?"

"No," she said slowly, "I have no second thoughts about marrying you."

"But the family is being less than hospitable towards you. I cannot blame you for wanting a warmer household," he said, finishing her thought.

She sighed, "I can't blame them. Of course they would prefer you to marry that woman from the Shihoin-_ke_. I messed up their plans."

Hisana barely caught Byakuya's mumbled response as to where the family could shove their plans. She laughed quietly, reminded distinctly of the teenager she'd first fallen in love with.

Byakuya composed himself, reaching his hand out to pull one of her hands between them, "I know it hasn't been easy for you being unable to search for your sister, either."

Hisana edged closer to him, lowering her head onto his shoulder. She relaxed and allowed a lingering smile when she felt him lean his head lightly against hers, "I'm happy to be here with you, Byakuya," she responded simply.

"But…"

"But…" she continued, "you're right, as usual. I don't know how I'm going to keep up my search, unless I learn how to use shunpo like you, which I obviously can't do. I can't walk there, search for Rukia, and make it back here before nightfall…"

Byakuya squeezed her hand, "We'll figure out what to do. She is important to you, so she is important to me, Hisana."

She returned the squeeze, closing her eyes, "_Arigatou_."

They sat there in silence, absorbing the atmosphere around them. It was an unusually warm night in the spring. If the family was happy about any aspect of this marriage, it was that it was well-timed so that it could take place under the newly bloomed _sakura_. Hisana had spent most of her free time walking the gardens with Byakuya, and he showed her all the best and most beautiful spots. It hadn't taken her long to notice which flowers were his favorites, including the flower obviously associated with his zanpaku-to, and that they were all appropriately present in these number one areas of the gardens. From up on the roof, Hisana could see some of the younger _sakura_. The warm breezes that kicked up rustled handfuls of petals from the branches, some swirling up to land lightly in her lap and to snag in her hair.

Byakuya reached out to remove these rogue flowers, letting them float away towards the ground, "Tomorrow?"

Hisana sighed, now more contentedly than nervously, "Yes, _ashita_."

"I hope the servants who help you prepare in the morning are kind to you. I can't be there to make sure."

Byakuya felt her shake her head against his shoulder, "No, they're very kind," she said, "Do you remember when you came to find me before you proposed? How I said a servant had recommended I be there?"

"And I was concerned for not knowing your whereabouts? Yes, I remember."

She laughed, "She thought you might be. Or rather, she hoped. She told me that she moved me away to see your reaction, and whether or not you cared about me. She – her name is Yoko – is very kind to me."

"I think you will understand if I say that explanation exasperates and pleases me," he responded, rolling his eyes.

Hisana breathed another laugh, bending towards her fiancée to place a chaste kiss on his cheek, "I suppose I'll see you at the ceremony then."

Byakuya closed his eyes, relishing the feel of her lips, and restraining himself from returning it – it was too late in the night for romance, "Yes. I will wish the morning to go ever faster."

Hisana nodded, memorizing the cute, impatient expression that was plastered on his face, "I hope so, too."

* * *

><p>"M'lady, it's time we started getting' you ready. Are you decent?"<p>

Hisana jerked upright from her bed, gasping sleepily at the sudden wake up call. She sat dazed with slumber, piecing together what it was the servant had just said, "I'm still just Hisana," she called, "But yes, you can come in."

The door opened to reveal Yoko and a younger servant, who couldn't be older than Rukia. The little girl was holding a lavishly decorated box, filled with something Hisana could not guess.

Yoko rose to her feet, walking towards the white bridal _kimono_ at the back of the room, the family's _shiromuku_. Hisana glowered at it, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. The wedding _kimono_ was beyond elaborate. She couldn't find the words to adequately express how overdone she found this piece of clothing. She'd never worn anything cumbersome that draped past her ankles, but this outfit would be trailing behind her feet, and not to mention the number of _layers_ underneath.

"I can't imagine how long it would have taken to sew all of those cranes and designs into the fabric," Hisana mused aloud, folding up her futon.

Yoko ran a light hand over the train, "Many, many quiet hours, I'm bettin'. And I'll bet I'd never have that sort of patience… Oh, Hisana-sama, you needn't be doin' that, allow me," she chastised, running to take the futon out of Hisana's arms.

Hisana hesitated, but let her take the mattress, "I can put my own bed away."

She was responded to with a laugh, "There's no need. It's my job,"

Hisana sighed, gradually accepting that it was worthless to argue this sort of point. She opened her mouth to speak when she felt a tug at her sleeve. She turned to see the young girl, holding a white under robe in her hands.

"Hisana-sama," the girl's small voice tugged at Hisana's heart – would Rukia sound this sweet? – "You need to get dressed now."

"Miyako-chan!" Yoko chastised lightly, rushing over, placing a gentle yet firm hand on the girl's shoulder, "Try again," she rebuked.

Hisana waved her hands, "_Iie_, it's fine. She's very charming."

Yoko bowed, "Please, m'lady, indulge us. She's still learnin'."

Miyako's eyebrows knitted together in concentration, as though trying to remember something with great difficulty, "Hisana-sama…" she began slowly, "please may we help you dress, please, Hisana-sama?"

Hisana smiled, enchanted. She bowed humbly to the servant, "Yes, please. I would never be able to do it without your help."

Miyako beamed, flashing a smile with missing baby teeth, and she rushed to get the rest of the clothes as Hisana slipped out of her night clothes and into the under robe.

"Hisana-sama, the Kuchiki-_ke_ told us that you can choose whether or not y' want the full makeup for the ceremony," Yoko said, gesturing to the lacquered box, now open. Hisana peered inside, pulling a hand through her pillow-flattened hair. It was filled with cosmetics, though Hisana knew what she was expected to wear – chalky white powder to cover all her visible skin to symbolize her "purity", dark lining for her eyes, and bright red color for her lips. But still, she cringed at the thought of so much makeup. She had never worn a bit in her life.

'_Do I have to— No, if I don't, it will reflect poorly on Byakuya-sama…'_ she considered, balancing her options.

Comfort? A good image?

Her old life? Byakuya?

She turned to Yoko, "I'm afraid I don't know how to…um…do the makeup…"

Yoko smiled warmly, beckoning Miyako with her hand, "Don't worry about that, m'lady. We're here t' take care of you."

Miyako patted across the floor, brush in hand, "We're here to take care of you, Hisana-sama," she repeated squeakily, running the brush through Hisana's matted hair as Yoko began applying the powder to her face.

Hisana relaxed, closing her eyes. If no one else besides Byakuya would talk to her with any warmth, perhaps she could at least find friends among her social status peers – the servants.

* * *

><p>"You look beautiful."<p>

Hisana felt a heated blush rise quickly to her face, though she knew the white mask she wore would hide that from Byakuya, "Th-thank you…" She looked him over quickly, in his formal black _kimono_, different than the shinigami _shihakushou_ she was accustomed to seeing him in, "You too, you look, I mean, you're also..." she stumbled, unable to find the right words. She couldn't exactly tell him that he was looking so perfect that the only thing she could see in her mind was where she would be tonight, "…flawless, as always," she breathed, giving up.

Byakuya smiled, watching her fluster over her words. It was a habit of hers that he was sure the impatient would find frustrating, but it was entirely one of her, shall he admit it, cutest traits.

"No one would use that word for me when I'm standing beside you," he corrected, briefly touching her hand before drawing back regretfully, "I wish I could touch you, but I believe that defeats the purpose of your attire,"

Hisana nodded disappointedly, her white wedding hood obscuring her peripheral vision, "It seems that everything I'm wearing is demanding I be entirely pure and hide my 'horns'." She paused, gesturing to the head covering, "Although, since this sort of event might invoke, well, passion," she started, gripping her groom's hand lightly, "maybe it's a well-founded tradition."

She raised her other hand to cover a laugh as she saw color rise in Byakuya's cheeks, and she wondered if maybe she wasn't the only one wishing the day were already over.

A servant walked up to them, and Hisana quickly dropped Byakuya's hand. The servant kneeled on his knees in a deep bow, "My lord and lady, we are ready to begin the ceremony."

Byakuya nodded at the man, turning to Hisana, "Are you ready?"

Hisana inhaled deeply, composing herself and straightening her thoughts, "Yes," she replied after a few moments, looking ahead, the hood cutting Byakuya's face from her line of sight.

She heard him inhale shakily before stepping forward, and she lifted her _kimono_ just off the floor, lowering her head slightly to watch his footfalls, careful to stay in step. They had not rehearsed this – '_Another ploy by the family to point out the peasant's lack of eloquence, no doubt'_, she thought resentfully – and she was determined to be perfect.

The path wasn't long, thankfully. The ceremony was being held just outside, and per tradition, it was only open to close family. Hisana averted her eyes from the faces watching them, keeping her eyes on her feet, clutching her _kimono_ tighter. She had always wanted a family after she'd given up hers, but now that she saw the option she'd taken laid out in front of her – not a one person on her side of the ceremony, and Ginrei-sama alone among the handful of Kuchiki relatives with a face that was not drawn taught in disapproval – her heart ached for her own family of one.

Finally, they reached the small shrine in front them, and they bowed respectfully before retreating a few steps and sitting as the _Shintou_ priest began the ceremony.

The words blurred in Hisana's ears as she zoned out, watching the wind-tossed _sakura_ petals that were floating about, landing on the ground and in their laps. The weather had stayed warm from the previous night, and Hisana was further regretting the many layers she was being obligated to wear and the hood that was keeping the breeze from cooling her face. She clasped her hands inconspicuously in her lap to keep from fidgeting.

The priest had finished reading the wedding contract aloud, and the only part of this ceremony she'd known before coming into the Seireitei was beginning – _sansankudo. _The _sake_ was already being poured into three different cups. Byakuya was handed the first and smallest, inclining his head respectfully before sipping three times and handing the cup to Hisana. She took the cup from him, lingering as their fingers touched, and her eyes flickered to his. She found that he was already looking at her and they shared a quick, private smile before Hisana raised the cup to her lips three times.

They did the same with the other two cups, and then the situation became somewhat awkward, if unavoidable. While the _sake_ was now supposed to be shared with the parents of the couple, neither of them had parents with which to share. Hisana felt the same dull ache thinking about how Rukia could be sitting a few feet to her left right now. Unbeknownst to her, Byakuya was quietly feeling waves of mourning for his own parents, not forgetting that it was his father first who had seen what future lay in store for him and Hisana.

In the end, Ginrei took the place of his parents, as his closest living relative. Then, in an unexpected and entirely unprecedented act, he stood up and walked to Hisana's side of the aisle. He gave a cold look at the members of his family that were clasping their hands to their mouths in shock and whispering objections to one another. He looked calmly at the priest, "This tradition is a binding of the two families. This young woman is her own family, but someone should be available to complete this symbolism. This family is hers now." The priest recovered from his own shock and handed another cup of _sake_ to the Head of the Family, who drank it and returned to his original seat with an air of great dignity.

Hisana turned her head just enough to see Byakuya's face, gauging his reaction. He looked at her from the corner of his eye, and Hisana saw the same shock she felt written on his face. She'd have to remember to profusely thank her soon-to-be grandfather-in-law later.

Meanwhile, the priest had slipped seamlessly back into his job for the ceremony and was finishing up with a symbolic offering to the gods. Hisana found this to be superficial, like many other traditions she was now being introduced to. Were the Shinigami not technically "gods" themselves? To whom were they offering this to? She closed her eyes, shutting down the cynical web of thoughts she was following – now was not the time to question the way nobles did things.

The priest turned around, bowing to her and Byakuya, and pronounced them married. Then the ceremony was over. Nothing happened. No happy sighs from the small audience, no great cosmic feeling came over here that said, "Hey, you're married now!" She felt the same as she had 10 minutes ago, when she was still unmarried. _'But that's nothing to be ashamed of,' _she concluded, smiling to herself. There were worse things to be, she decided, than madly in love and gloriously given the opportunity to be bound to the person she cared so deeply for.

* * *

><p>Evening had long fallen, and Hisana stood beside the door of her – and Byakuya's – bedroom, having opened it just a crack so she could see outside. She pulled her hair off her neck, dampened from the bath she'd taken some minutes ago. After a day of lavish outfits and much unwelcome noise and bustle, she was very happy to be back in one layer nightclothes and alone for five minutes while Byakuya was in the bath himself. She supposed they could have bathed together, now that they were married, but just the thought brought so much blood to her cheeks that she knew such a thing would have been a potentially disastrous idea.<p>

After the wedding ceremony, she and Byakuya had been immediately separated as Yoko had directed her back to the room she'd woken up in. She and Miyako helped her undress and remove her slightly sweat-smudged makeup, and changed her into yet another cumbersome _kimono_. This time, they'd brought a brightly decorated _furisode_ – such a _kimono_ was only permitted to be worn by unmarried women, and it was tradition that the bride wear one on her wedding day for one last time.

'_Even though it was my first time also,'_ Hisana considered, not entirely regretting that fact. While not as obnoxious as the wedding attire, the _furisode_'s long, bothersome sleeves were something she was not sorry to say goodbye to.

The reception wasn't exactly something she'd wanted, but it hadn't been as terrible as she'd anticipated. Byakuya succeeded in never having to leave her side, something she was very pleased about. Many of the guests had not been high-ranking nobles like the Kuchiki-_ke_, and their demeanors reflected as much. Since Byakuya and Ginrei-sama were both seated Shinigami, many of the captains and lieutenants in the _Gotei juusantai_ had been invited, and she'd been introduced to most. _'It might almost convince me to try being a Shinigami myself, if I could work with such kind people as Unohana-taichou and Ukitake-taichou,'_ she mused, remembering the most amiable captains fondly.

Hisana heard the door on the other side of the room close quietly, and jumped slightly, coming out of her thoughts and back to her wedding night. She reached out to close the door she stood beside, the clack of wood against the doorframe ringing in the silence.

She turned to see Byakuya walking towards her, and she smiled nervously, her cheeks heating slowly, "How—," her voice wavered with nerves, and she coughed, clearing her throat, "How was your bath?"

He reached her side, trailing a warm hand across her cheek. Her eyes fluttered closed involuntarily, "It was nice," he said simply.

"I guess we haven't had any time today to just be with each other, have we?" Hisana whispered, leaning into his hand, "Will every day be like that, or will I get to spend time with my husband?" Her heart leapt at the new way she could refer to Byakuya – maybe the realization was beginning to wash over her after all.

"Every day," he began, watching her facial expression morph from nervous to bliss, "Every day, we will be together. I promise."

Hisana opened her eyes, looking up at him, "I'll hold you to that," she declared, leaning up on her toes to press a kiss to his cheek, and then another, until she reached his lips. She felt his arms wrap around her, one hand resting on her back and another slipped under her hair on the exposed skin of her neck, and she realized how small she was compared to him. But she relished the protection of his arms around her, and she reached up to frame his face with her hands, losing herself in the kiss. Embracing in secret in Rukongai or in secret spots of the gardens had been one thing, but here they had nothing to hide, and no more reason to.

"I love you," she breathed between kisses, finding herself being carried towards the futon in the center of the room.

"Not nearly as much as I love you," Byakuya responded, placing a kiss just under her jaw before laying her on the futon and sliding down next to her.

* * *

><p>AN: My mindset in this chapter ranged from horrifying writer's block to oh-my-gods-I-can't-stop-typing. C'est la vie.

This required so much more research than I'm used to. I wanted to adequately and thoroughly describe the wedding traditions – I hope everything was clear and it wasn't too much. And I had so much fun writing Miyako-chan. She is definitely coming back. Sorry for those of you who don't like OCs.

And you should probably know that I was talking to my younger sister last night about my plans for the climax of this fanfic, and her response was, "…You're _horrible_." Yup. I'm going to hell for this.

I have a tumblr now, by the way. Utterly obsessed. It is partly to blame for the long breaks between chapters.

_Japanese Words Index_

_Arigatou_ – "Thank you"

_Sakura_ – "cherry blossom", but you knew that.

_Ashita_ – "tomorrow"

_Shiromuku_ – the white bridal _kimono_ worn at traditional, _Shintou_ wedding ceremonies. Here's the website I mainly used for my wedding info:  . 

_Iie_ – "no"

_Shihakushou – _the shinigami uniform

_Shintou_ – the native Japanese religion. It translates directly to "way of the gods".

_Sansankudo_ – pretty much explained in the chapter – see the above link for more details.

_Sake_ – rice wine; the Japanese alcohol of choice.

_Furisode_ – again, roughly explained in the chapter. Google it for pictures – _beautiful_ stuff.


	8. Symphony: Allegro

Hisana blinked sleepily, straining to open her eyes with the morning sunbeams that filtered through the _shouji_ screens. She reached her arms above her head, her back arching into the stretch. The sore muscles in her legs strained uncomfortably and she relaxed, turning onto her side. _'Well this is a first,'_ she thought, surprised to see that Byakuya was still asleep. In the month they had been married, he'd always been the one to wake up first, at 8:00 on the dot. She lifted her head slightly to look at the small clock on the table across the room. _'I guess it is a bit early,'_ she decided, determining that the minute hand on the six must be indicating he still had 30 minutes of sleep.

She laid her head back down on the pillow and studied her husband's face. While the stress over something or another during the day usually resulted in knitted eyebrows and a stern expression, Hisana never got over how at peace he looked when he slept. His hair, usually impeccably straight and never disarrayed – much thanks to his _kenseikan_, no doubt – was splayed around his head, some rogue locks fallen over his face.

_ 'It's no wonder,'_ she thought, carefully pushing the hair behind his ear, _'I had no idea someone could be such a restless sleeper.'_

Not that she minded much, as sharing a bed with a restless sleeper usually ended up in being unconsciously embraced. She was a light sleeper, and while she had been woken up multiple times during the first few nights, it was always a pleasant surprise to be woken encased in his arms. Right now, he was sleeping on his side, facing her, with his arm draped across her waist.

Hisana glanced at the clock again – 7:50. _'I wonder if someone will be able to take me to Rukongai today. It was raining too hard yesterday…'_ she mused, remembering her disappointment. A few of the servants in the house had taught themselves _shunpo_, and were occasionally available to take her to search for Rukia. While Byakuya had expressed his relief that she wouldn't be going alone to Rukongai, Hisana knew that he was well aware that she always left the servant to enjoy himself at the _Ume_ while she walked to Inuzuri.

She felt Byakuya's arm shift and turned her attention back to him, and found him awake and already watching her. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?" she asked, frowning. Maybe she shouldn't have touched him.

He shook his head, sleep still clouding his features, "I've been awake for a while,"

Hisana blinked, "Well. I guess I wasn't the first to wake after all. I thought I had broken some sort of record," she teased. She stretched out her legs, cringing again.

Byakuya's face immediately shifted to concern, "What's wrong?"

She looked at him innocently, biting down on her lip, "_Nandemonai_, nothing at all."

He sighed, "I know you're not telling the truth," he rebuked, lightly running his hand over the outline of her thigh, "I'm sorry."

"For _what?_" Hisana questioned, jabbing his chest lightly with her finger, "You can't apologize for mutual pleasure. It's simply unheard of," she smiled, moving her hand to rest on his neck.

"Hmm…I suppose it could be," he replied, pulling her closer and pressing a kiss just below her ear, trailing across her jaw.

Hisana's smile slipped into a grin, letting her bliss overtake her as she let herself be kissed and sink into it. At first, she'd been worried that any passion they'd had in their young love might disintegrate as they settled into marriage, but she'd been proven wrong time and time again.

Every time they kissed, her heart beat just as fast as it did the first time, wild and erratic. Even now she'd lost control of its rhythm, feeling it hammer in her chest as she felt his tongue trace over her lips, startling her momentarily before she leaned into it, her thoughts melting into pure emotion.

The clock on the table let out a quiet _ping!_ as 8:00 came upon them. Hisana was perfectly content to pretend it never happened, but she hesitantly let Byakuya pull away, though his face mirrored her own annoyance with the passage of time.

"You have to get ready to go now, Byakuya?" she breathed against his throat, catching her breath.

"Unfortunately," he responded, the strain in his voice expressing his own reluctance.

"Well, I'm sure Ginrei-_ojii -sama_ would be displeased to see you arrive late," she sighed, unwrapping her arms from around him and sitting up, searching the blanket for her clothes.

"It could be an awkward situation," he agreed, slipping on his own night clothes before throwing back the blanket and rising to walk across the room to the dresser.

Hisana pulled her arms through the sleeves of her robes, crunching her legs to her chest and laid her head on her knees, watching Byakuya pull out his _shihakushou_. She had never been the type to comment on others' looks, back at the _Ume_. She left such superficial thoughts, as she considered them, to the girls whose lives were devoted to flattery. But she could never deny herself the truth that she relished looking at him, as handsome as he was, with his evenly toned muscles from his arms to his stomach, and he was, in many ways – though he might deny it – beautiful. While she preferred his hair loose, he was proud of being able to wear the _kenseikan_ he was straightening, and she was always found it endearing to see him being a little prideful.

She turned away from her gawking, standing up herself, stretching her legs before walking over to him and pulling out her own clothes for the day.

Byakuya frowned as he watched her pick out a light green, casual _kimono_, but obviously not one that would be found in the slums, "You're not going to Rukongai today?"

"I haven't decided yet," she replied, closing the drawer and changing into the white under robe.

He nodded and finished tying his _obi_, "I'll come back here for the noon break. Will you be here then, Hisana?"

Hisana smiled and reached up to straighten the collar of his _shihakushou_, "I'll make sure lunch is ready for you. That is, if you don't find work to be so captivating that you forget."

She was rewarded with a warm smile back, and a rare, albeit quiet, laugh, "Hardly. Then, I look forward to it," he bent down to kiss her cheek lightly before turning towards the door, sliding Senbonzakura into his _obi_ and leaving the room.

Her smile lingered as she put on the rest of her clothes. They'd developed their daily routine quickly, and while she used to find common routine dull and unwelcome, this one couldn't be more treasured.

* * *

><p>AN: Watch out, the muse is on a roll.

Originally, this chapter was going to be titled "Symphony", and include four anecdotes, one for each movement. But I decided it will just flow better if I divide them into four, one shot-esque chapters. Plus, this way, I get to update more often.

_Japanese Words Index_

_Nandemonai_: "Nothing"; at least, essentially.


	9. Symphony: Adagio

_14 June, 1951_

十四日六月千九百五十一年

_ It's been another hot day. I suppose those here at the house were enjoying watermelon and being fanned to escape the heat. Meanwhile, I went to Rukongai to search for Rukia again today. The servant who escorted me was very relieved to stay at the _Ume_, I think. _

_ Ever since I've begun commuting there from Seireitei, no one has reported seeing a girl with Rukia's description. She's a petite little girl, so I'm sorry to say that I'm not surprised that a young child like her would be adept at hiding from the dangers of Inuzuri. _

_ But it is a constant reminder of what I could not do. If someone as young as her could survive and supposedly thrive, then how could I not, together with her? I've begun to dwell on that thought, though I know it will do me no good. I wonder often if I would have ever even met Byakuya if I had stayed with her, though. I doubt I would have left Inuzuri, and so I never would have found the _koto_, and played at the Kuchiki manor, and become friends with Byakuya, and so on. But again, it is pointless to dwell on the way life unfolds. Perhaps things turned out for the better, although that could of course be the selfish side of me having its_

"Hisana-sama, I have tea for you,"

Hisana looked towards the door, placing her ink brush gently on its rest, "Come in."

The door opened to reveal Miyako, standing instead of bowing, with a small tray supporting a teacup in her small hands, "I brought it for you!"

"All by yourself?" Hisana asked, smiling as Miyako entered the room and placed the tray on the floor.

Miyako nodded vigorously, "Yes! Yoko-san said I'm doing good as her accomp- her appren-," she frowned, forming the word in her head, "Her accomptice!"

Hisana laughed, receiving the cup of tea Miyako handed her with a bow of her head, "Do you mean her apprentice?"

"Oh, yes!" Miyako's face dropped a little bit at forgetting the word. She was a big girl! She could remember big words! She looked at the papers on the desk Hisana was sitting at, "What're you do—I mean, may I ask what Hisana-sama is doing?"

Hisana took a sip of her tea, wondering how much to reveal to the girl, "I'm writing about my days. That way, I can look back at them some day and see what I was thinking on this exact day," she said, pointing out the date on the upper-right hand corner of the page.

Miyako looked at the paper, cocking her head to the side as she pressed the tray to her chest, "Has Hisana-sama always been able to write? I can't, and Yoko-san said I don't have to learn."

Hisana's smile faltered, "Yes…I suppose I learned how to read when I was in the World of the Living, and it carried over here." She studied the young servant's awed face. She was just so precious. But because she was a servant, she wasn't being given the same opportunities. How much must that hurt, as you got older, to live in a house of nobility, but can't even read because that's not your station?

"_Ne_, Miyako-chan?"

The girl looked over expectantly.

Hisana hesitated, "You know…I'd like it if you just called me Hisana, Miyako-chan. Is that okay?"

Miyako's eyes widened, and Hisana's heart clenched at how adorable she was, "But Yoko-san said I must never ever do that!"

Hisana leaned towards her conspiratorially, whispering, "I won't tell if you don't."

If possible, the girl's eyes became even huger, before she beamed her toothy grin again, "Okay! Like a secret?" she asked excitedly.

Hisana laughed, "_Just_ like a secret."

Miyako bounced on her toes, "Is Hisana-sama done with—I mean, are you done with your tea, H-Hisana?"

Hisana nodded, smiling, "Yes, I am. Would you mind taking the cup back for me?"

"Yeah!" she lowered the tray, and Hisana placed the cup in the middle, "Thank you!" She bowed deeply at the waist before turning around and half-skipping out the door, "Oh! Good afternoon, Byakuya-sama!"

Hisana gasped in surprise, scrambling to her feet in time to see Miyako straighten from a low bow and resume her skip towards the kitchens.

Byakuya entered the room, an eyebrow raised, "She is…lively."

"Very," Hisana agreed, refraining from running across the room, and instead took a few quick steps so she could throw her arms around his waist.

She heard him laugh quietly before returning the embrace, "You're rather lively, too."

Hisana smiled against his chest, "Her visits always cheer me up. She's the sweetest girl I've ever seen. I hope Rukia's the same way."

"Hmm…" Byakuya paused, considering her hope. He ran an absent hand through her hair, "How old did you say Rukia is supposed to be?"

Hisana looked up at him, "Well, about that girl's age, isn't she? She was a baby 70 years ago…"

Byakuya's eyebrows drew together, doing quick calculations in his head. How was he going to explain this gently? "If she is like most souls, she would likely be a young adult by now. A teenager, by human standards."

"A teenager…?" Hisana murmured, a suddenly wave of dismay touching her light mood, "Do you mean…I've been looking for a little girl for years, when I should have been looking for a teenager?"

"It's…possible," he responded, regretting his analysis immediately at the crushed look in her eyes, "But you search so thoroughly that had she been able to be found at the time you were there, it wouldn't have mattered," he assured her.

She stared at him blankly for a moment before nodding tiredly, "You're right…I wouldn't have changed anything, had I realized." She smiled up at him, switching mental tracks to the simple joy of seeing her husband, "You're back early."

"I was done with work for the day, so I thought I would come back early and see if you had returned," he touched the back of the collar of the old _yukata_ she wore for her treks to Rukongai, his fingers brushing the skin of her neck, "I'm glad I did."

"I'm sorry, I hadn't gotten around to taking a bath and changing clothes yet," she considered this, "Maybe I should take a bath now, before dinner."

Byakuya smiled at her, a quick half-upturn of the lips, "Maybe I should join you, since it's such a hot day outside."

Hisana laughed, "Oh, very smooth. As though you need an excuse to suggest that," she taunted, reaching for his hand, and started walking hand in hand towards the bath.

A/N: Yes, this chapter is as short as the last, and so will the next two. I thought this flowed better than putting four short stories into one. Don't worry, once "Symphony" is over, it's back to long chapters.

And oh my gods you guys. Bleach 501. I cried. Legitimately. Sobbing. Sobbing. It was horrible.

_Japanese Words Index_

_Ne: _As it's used here, it's like, "Hey," but at the end of a sentence, it's more like asking for confirmation on what you just said.


	10. Symphony: Minuet

'_This is so irritating,'_ Hisana thought darkly, stepping lightly as she danced. She was wearing the most comfortable _yukata_ she could find, just to make her feel a little better about the amount of practice she was having to do for the New Year's Celebration Dance.

'_If only the tradition was to play the music _behind_ the dancer,' _she deliberated, pursing her lips as she tossed the _sakura-_adorned fan delicately from one hand to the next, _'I would rather play the _koto_ all day long rather than this dance for a miserable few minutes.' _

And yet, it was _tradition_ for a high-ranking female member of the Kuchiki-_ke_ to perform this dance on New Year's. The _kimono_ she would have to wear was a _furisode_, and as such, the preferred victim was supposed to be unmarried. But they claimed to have little choice – all of the other eligible members of the family had, supposedly, refused. Even after the now nine months she'd been married to Byakuya, the coldness towards her from the elders had barely relented. If this was another chance for them to make her seem the awkward peasant, she was going to prove them wrong, no matter how much she'd rather be in the background.

But the Lady of the Kuchiki-_ke_ didn't _get_ to be in the background. She was married to the most important nobleman in the Soul Society, and hence she frequently received the invasive micromanaging from the elders that Byakuya had complained about for decades.

She preferred simple clothing while she was home – cotton _kimono_ that breathed well in the summer heat, and kept her warm, with the help of a _haori_, in the winter. But this was not _appropriate_. They tried to push silks on her constantly, though Byakuya, who also preferred comfortable clothing, albeit with more expensive fabric, quickly shut that problem down. However, when it came to formal occasions (and there were many, being the wife of Kuchiki Byakuya-sama), heavily layered and lavishly decorated _kimono_ were unavoidable.

She glanced furtively at the _furisode_ she was going to have to wear for the dance, as it hung on its stand against the wall. It was beautiful, certainly. A lovely magenta color, with _sakura_ trailing up the gown and sleeves, and its oddly matching orange and red _obi_ and yellow hairpin were placed neatly on a shelf behind it. She knew she'd have to practice in it at least once, to get used to the length and burdensome sleeves, but for now, she was perfectly content to wear her choice, manageable _yukata_.

'_I wonder how horrified they would be if I stepped on stage in my Rukongai clothing,' _she pondered, _'It might make a point, after all…'_

The door opened behind her and she quickly finished the last few steps of her dance, twirling carefully on the heel of her foot to turn and bow towards the intruder gracefully.

"Very beautiful," Byakuya appraised, and Hisana looked up, a blush rising in her cheeks.

"It still needs a little work," she countered, folding the fan and tucking it in her _obi_ before sliding to her knees to sit in front of her husband, who had already sat down, having closed the door.

Byakuya raised an eyebrow, "I could have just as easily been referring to your performance, but you don't assume I was speaking of you first."

Hisana felt her cheeks grow even redder, "Flattery will get you nowhere new," she chided, fighting to keep her smile from exploding into a full-blown, giddy grin.

She could almost hear him roll his eyes even had she not seen it, but he settled for watching her argue with her facial expressions, "Regardless. I know you would rather be playing the _koto_," he allowed, gesturing with a nod towards the _koto_ against the opposite wall, "but I truly think you're doing an exemplary job with the dance."

Hisana smiled gratefully, "Thank you. I don't want to reflect poorly on you in any way at all, and—,"

"But you'd rather play the _koto_,"

Hisana reached out to smack his shoulder lightly, "You didn't let me finish!"

Byakuya smiled, taking her hand before she could withdraw it, and bowed his head apologetically, gesturing that she should continue.

"_And_, I was just wondering how much trouble I'd be in if I decided to wear my old Rukongai _kimono_. You know, symbolically. 'I was born a peasant, but I can still dance better than you,' and that sort of thing," Hisana finished, gesturing with her arms emphatically, to emphasize that she wasn't wholly serious.

She was rewarded with an appreciative almost-grin (he never "grinned", on principle), "As much as I would value such a performance, I do not think the family would approve."

"Pity. I would treasure the looks on their faces for the rest of my existence," Hisana mused, trying to picture such a scenario. She shook her head, coming back to earth, "I was going to practice one more time before stopping for the day," she tilted her head coyly, "Tell me if I make any mistakes?"

Byakuya nodded, "Of course," he kissed the top of her hand lightly before letting her go, as she drew the fan from her waist, and raised it to her face, matching her eyes with his before taking the first step.

* * *

><p>AN: Wanted to type this up tonight because I have surgery to remove my wisdom teeth in t-minus 7 hours, and I don't know when I'll feel like writing again. Only one more short chapter, then we're back to long ones! (And probably longer updates…Sorry.)


	11. Symphony: Finale

Byakuya laid his brush on its rest, a drop of ink splattering on the desk along the way. He sighed half-heartedly, picking up a spare piece of paper to mop it up. _'I am convinced Shirogane-_fukutaichou_ is giving me half his extra paperwork so he can fantasize about owning that glasses shop,' _he decided, contemplating about whether or not it would be mentally productive to ditch decorum, shove his work off the desk, pretend the wood was a pillow, and _sleep_.

For the past few weeks, after a battle mishap, his grandfather had been incapacitated, recuperating at the 4th Squad barracks. Unohana-_taichou_ assured him daily, though he didn't show his true internal panic, that Kuchiki Ginrei would make a full recovery, but due to his age and the severity of the wound, it would take time. Hence, a great brunt of the paperwork had been pushed to him, the 3rd Seat, to make up for the absence of the captain. Shirogane-_fukutaichou_ could sign for the captain, given his position, and took control of his paperwork, but this meant nearly all the lieutenant's usual paperwork had been moved to Byakuya's desk, here at the manor. Overtime work meant doing it at home.

He leaned back in his chair, allowing himself to relax his posture for once. _'Already midnight,'_ he noted dully, glancing at the clock on the edge of his desk. Hisana would be waiting up for him again, no doubt. Since taking on the extra work, the number of times he'd found her slumped by the window, having fallen asleep with a book open in her lap, could no longer be counted on two hands.

_'I told her to go to sleep without me, but I know she won't listen.' _He supposed it should annoy him to be ignored, as it would be if anyone else did, but in her case, it only warmed him to think about how much she cared.

He picked up the brush and started doodling aimlessly on the ink-splotched paper he'd used as a rag. Half of him wanted to drop work for the night and lose some personal time tomorrow to finish, but the other half groaned at the thought of not having any time at all to talk for any length of time with his wife. Their first anniversary was coming up in a few weeks, and he was once again engaged in an internal civil war about whether he should act normal and composed or arrange something special.

_'She would not mind either way, but I do like catching her off guard…' _he pondered, picturing her blushing, spluttering reaction when he acted spontaneously, usually in a decidedly romantic way, or so he hoped.

The door clacked open quietly behind him, and, startled, Byakuya fumbled with the brush in his hands to keep from dropping it. He turned to see Hisana, her nightclothes covered with a _haori_, walking over to sit beside him. She sat down with her legs tucked casually, tiredly, to the side, her thigh resting against his. He frowned, concerned, "You look tired," he said, noting her focused expression to cover her obvious exhaustion.

She laughed without humor, "_I _look tired? Have you looked in the mirror lately?" she asked gently, reaching out to touch the seemingly permanent, dark bags resting on his cheekbones.

He closed his eyes, feeling his own fatigue fight for control of his mind, "The paperwork must get done. There's nothing I can do about that."

"And you can't ask for help? The fourth or fifth seats can't take some of the menial work from you?" Hisana questioned. He sensed that there was a touch of chiding in her voice, likely aimed at the stubbornness that he acknowledged and yet would not relinquish.

"I have not asked."

He heard her scoff lightly under her voice. Yes, she had definitely been attempting to reproach him.

"What were you doing here? If this is work, I'm almost jealous."

Byakuya opened his eyes to see her cocking her head curiously at the half-consciously drawn doodle on his desk. He almost blushed at the fact of being caught not working, like a lazy student in class.

"I suppose I fell asleep while sitting here," he replied cautiously, watching her pick up and scrutinize the cloud-shaped figure on the paper.

She turned it half to the side, then the other way, bringing it closer and farther from her face, inspecting it with a critical look. He raised his eyebrows at her, curious as to what exactly she was thinking.

Out of nowhere, she laughed, "I like it! It's so cute!"

"It's…cute?" he questioned dubiously. That was certainly a word he'd never heard used in proxy to him or anything he'd created.

"Yes, definitely cute," she nodded solemnly, turning her laughter into a serious face, beginning her critique, "The inspiration that produced such a work of art is clearly from the divine, resulting in a charming character. The snarky expression strongly suggests a cunning and yet clearly endearing mind, and the white headband obviously states-,"

"Alright, now you're making fun," he said, rolling his eyes.

Hisana broke out of her façade, laughing again, "Ridiculous. Of course I'm not. I really like it," she leaned over to plant a kiss on his cheek, and then placed her head on his shoulder, examining the paper again, "Does it have a name?"

"Does it need one?" She was being absolutely silly about this…

"Of course! Every great artwork needs a title!"

"Well, in that case," Byakuya took the paper from her hands, thinking it over. Really, he _must_ have been half-asleep when he drew this, "Seaweed Ambassador," he decided.

He heard her giggle quietly, "What on earth? Is it seaweed? I could swear it's a cloud."

"Are you questioning my, what did you call it, 'divine inspiration'?"

She giggled again, and quickly coughed to right it, "Certainly not. Seaweed Ambassador it is."

He nodded, picking up the brush once again to scrawl the calligraphy along the side of the picture and leaning it upright against the clock. He stared tiredly at it. Those beady, black little eyes were probably going to give him nightmares…

"Are you going to finish your work now or come to bed?" Hisana asked, her preferred answer evident from the inflection in her voice.

Byakuya inhaled deeply, letting it out in a long breath, "Well," he started slowly, "If I was capable of coming up with _that_, I think it's time to rest."

Hisana stood up, extending her hands to help him to his feet. Oh yes, sleep sounded _very_ tempting right now, "Then come on. You can't possibly stoke your creative fires on no sleep. Seaweed Ambassador craves to be drawn again, I'm sure."

"Don't hold your breath," he countered, though he concluded that if it would make her laugh again, that character was likely to be a frequent interloper in his work.

* * *

><p>AN: That was fun! I should write from Byakuya's point of view again…unless you think I should stick with Hisana? Haha. Opinions!

I am so tired right now. Wisdom teeth are out and I've been volunteering at my sister's band camp at 8 every morning…good gods. I need some sleep. Sleep sounds good…


	12. Dissonance

Hisana sat in the center of the room, her fingers aching from the hours she had been playing the _koto_. It was the beginning of an early winter, mid-December in the fifth year of their marriage. Because she was Hisana-sama, the wife of their lord, the Kuchiki-_ke_ elders had decided years ago that playing the _koto_ at the annual _hanami_ was something she was not permitted to do. _'Add that to the entire list of things I'm not "permitted" to do,'_ she thought, with a quiet smile to herself.

The strictness of the elders had not ebbed, and yet Hisana was no longer put on edge by their rules, and felt less and less of a desire to fight them. She was, as they say, "taking the high road" rather than being the obstinate and, she realized now, vaguely childish bride she had been. Now she understood Byakuya's change of personality those years ago. Soujun-sama had tried to allow Byakuya the most normal childhood possible, but that was not necessarily the best way to raise a future leader of a noble family and court guard squad captain. Loathe as she was to admit it, the family's harsh rules were not without reason. It allowed them to maintain their traditions, which they safeguarded with more fervor than she'd ever thought possible – even if they lacked a certain humanity and compassion.

So here she was, resuming practice of the instrument that had been the rock of her life for decades. She missed the _koto,_ she had realized weeks ago, spurring in her a new desire to retrain herself. She missed the sound resonating in her bones, the mindless movement of her elbows, thefeel of the silk strings against her calloused fingers. Although, lack of daily performance had caused the pads of her fingers to soften, making the _koto_ a more painful experience than it used to be.

Hisana sighed contentedly, leaning back and examining her hands. The frost in the air wasn't helping the pain. Her fingertips were raw with cold and strain, to no surprise. She shook her head, rising to move the instrument back against the wall where it had been resting, unused, since she last played it a month ago. She walked outside, shutting the door behind her.

The sun was just dipping behind the walls surrounding the manor, and it illuminated the grounds in a soft, orange glow. The gardens were truly flawless. Given that it was one of Byakuya's favorite hobbies, she hardly expected otherwise. She knew his favorite was the Chinese Bellflower, and they were certainly present in all areas of the house, with a smattering of _sakura_ where there was room. But today, and for the past few weeks, the plants were obscured, covered in a dusty layer of white snow. The same snow was causing her to rub her arms earnestly to create some needed-heat, and had prevented her from making trips to Rukongai.

She'd steadily kept up her search, but to no avail. The occasional reports she used to come across of a girl with her likeness running around wreaking quiet havoc were gone. No one claimed to have seen Rukia anymore. She always did her best to stay hopeful, but those rare snippets of gossip were always lifelines she had clung to, knowing they whispered quietly, "_She's alive._" But without them…

She turned to leave, but stopped when she saw Byakuya turning the corner, walking towards her. She smiled and waved, frantically trying to rearrange her thoughts so that she wouldn't betray to him her inner turmoil. The passion in the early stages of their marriage had quieted, but that didn't mean her heart didn't do its usual fluttering when she saw his face.

As he approached, she opened her mouth to greet him, but stopped when she saw his face, wrought with concern.

"What happened?" He demanded, reaching out to her face.

"What? I don't know what you-?" she paused as he wiped away the cold trails of tears on either side of her face, "O-oh…I didn't realize I had been crying." She rubbed her cheek, trying to dispel the cold that had settled on her face, "Welcome home."

"Thank you. What happened?" Byakuya repeated, but more gently this time, removing her hand from her face to hold it in his own, and she savored the warmth.

"Nothing happened," she started slowly, "I'm just…the lack of news about Rukia in Inuzuri is just a bit…" she tasted words on her tongue, deciding the best while trying to regain control of her emotions, "…disheartening."

He looked at her, staring into her eyes, where she knew he would find the truth about anything she was feeling. She closed them, and felt a kiss on her forehead, "If I were her, I would remain indoors, too, in this weather," he hinted.

She breathed a laugh, looking up at him, "Drawing Seaweed Ambassador?"

Byakuya shook his head, letting out an exasperated sigh, and held out his arm for her to hold, "You won't let that go, will you, Hisana."

Hisana smiled more genuinely, knowing it wasn't a question, "If you keep asking me that, you can be sure I won't," she slipped her hand through the crook of his arm, and started walking together towards the dining room.

They walked in silence, the wind quietly whistling through the grounds and over the outdoor paths. Winter had its beauty, but its cold weather pushed warmth of both body and heart away, locked away until spring.

'_Which makes for an easy excuse to get closer to those you love,' _Hisana thought contentedly, her mood much lifted.

"Hisana," Byakuya started, his eyes still on the walkway in front of them, "I've been given an assignment, and I'll be in Rukongai with a handful of subordinates to investigate some unexplained casualties. I will be gone for a few days."

Hisana looked up at him, "Is that right…?"

As the 3rd Seat of the 6th Squad, Hisana knew that Byakuya was more than capable of defending himself and those around him in battle. And what was more, he'd told her that he felt that his, what was it called – bankai? – was finally under his complete control. He'd looked very happy, not to mention reminiscently smug, when he told her that this meant he would now be able to easily succeed his grandfather as captain. It was clear beyond a doubt that this was something he wanted very much.

But that wasn't to say she didn't still become worried every time he went into some sort of battle.

Byakuya nodded, "Ojii-sama hinted that this might be an opportunity to spur him to retire. If this goes well, I may take the captaincy exam by next week."

Hisana smiled, trying to erase all evidence of worry from her face, "That's wonderful! You'll do a flawless job, I'm sure of it."

He smiled back at her, "Thank you for your confidence." He took a moment before continuing, "Will you agree to stay here while I'm gone, rather than go to Rukongai for your search?"

"Wh-what?" Hisana stuttered, "Why do you ask?"

"I'd rather…" he paused in thought, "I'd prefer to know if you come home safely after your search, and since I will not be here to be certain—,"

"I lived in Rukongai for decades just fine!" Hisana countered, a little irked, "You might have been in Seireitei for a week without knowing my whereabouts and I was safe."

Byakuya blinked at her, surprised. She rarely snapped at anyone, and even more rarely at him, "You weren't coming from Seireitei then. With a servant from a noble house."

"Who is wearing clothes as ragged as anyone from Rukongai. And my clothes couldn't be more like theirs, as it's the same _yukata_ I wore back then," Hisana stopped, frowning. _'Tch, I'm only this annoyed because I was worried about Rukia, and now I'm worried about Byakuya…and I'm taking it out on him…' _she realized, looking up at his confused expression, _'I guess that isn't very fair of me…'_

She took a deep breath, "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for."

Byakuya reached over with his free hand, covering hers that was still clasping his arm, "No, I was out of place, also. Forgive me."

"We were both wrong," Hisana sighed, smiling again. She reached up on her toes to plant a kiss on his cheek, "I think we've already forgiven each other."

He nodded, a smile back on his face too, and they continued walking.

"But I would still prefer you stay here."

"_Gah,_" Hisana groaned, throwing her head back in exasperation.

* * *

><p>Byakuya shut the drawer of the dresser, straightening the collar of his <em>shihakushou. <em>He picked the _kenseikan _up from their resting place and proceeded to fit them to his hair, and ran down his mental checklist of everything he needed. The bag for multi-day Rukongai missions was waiting for him at the barracks, he could grab that when he got there…Senbonzakura was strapped to his hip, as usual…his soul pager was in his pocket…

'_And then there's also…' _He reached into the pocket between the layers of his uniform to make sure the photo was still there. _'Good, I doubt I would have had time to look for it,'_ he noted with relief as he pulled out a small picture of Hisana. It had taken some encouragement to get her to pose for one, but she had accepted eventually. It was a good picture. It was true that she looked a little nervous, but he did find that endearing.

He walked over to the futon where Hisana was still sleeping. She was curled in on herself slightly, the blankets tucked around her. _'She's probably cold,'_ he thought vaguely, brushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear – it hadn't exactly been the most pleasant of experiences to wake up and leave her side only to step into the cold stillness of the rest of the room.

"I'll be back in a few days. Get some rest here while I'm gone," Byakuya said quietly, leaning over to kiss her cheek before rising and heading out.

He was glad that Hisana had decided to pick up the _koto_ again. He'd always loved watching her play – the way she moved to the rhythm and smiled to herself as she played reminded him of how he felt when in battle. She was musically talented, and always performed with a certain passion and pride in herself, which was not unlike how he saw himself wielding Senbonzakura. He had other hobbies that were enjoyable in their own right, but there was just something special to doing something that you were inherently good at…

Even though he'd woken two hours earlier than normal to arrive on time, the barracks were already bustling with activity. _'Am I going to have to arrive even earlier when I'm captain?'_ he wondered, not completely infatuated with the idea. He pushed the thought aside, seamlessly slipping into his normal, serious attitude when it came to work.

"Kuchiki Byakuya is here," he said once he arrived at the office. His grandfather would be here already, wouldn't he?

"Come on in!" said an overly cheerful voice.

'_That would not be the case then,' _he confirmed, already dreading the interaction with the owner of the voice as he entered the room.

"Well, well, bright and early aren't you! Good to see you this morning, Kuchiki-san!" the lieutenant waved from behind his desk, stacking the papers into more of a semblance of order. Byakuya swore he noticed some more store designs and sales papers for his on-the-side sunglasses store, mixed in with the official paperwork for the squad.

"Good morning, Shirogane-_fukutaichou_," Byakuya replied stiffly, "Is the mission team assembled?"

The lieutenant tapped his brush against his chin, not noticing the splatters of ink coming off the end, "Hmmm, I believe they should be at the west entrance. The fourth seat came by…oh, how long ago was it…" the brush went wayward and left a streak of black across his chin, "…about 15 minutes or so ago, I think."

Byakuya bowed slightly, "Then I'll go to meet them," he said, turning to leave and avoid any awkward attempts at salesmanshi—

"Oh, before you go!"

_Or not._

"It's been clear skies over that part of Rukongai lately! If you'd like to take a pair of sunglasses with you, I promise they would be quite useful—."

"No thank you," Byakuya said, quickly exiting the room and closing the door behind him.

* * *

><p>"Oh, now what to do?" Hisana murmured to herself, closing her diary and pushing it to the side to allow for some room to rest her head on the desk. Byakuya had been gone for two days now, and she was going stir crazy. She sent a sideways glance out the window above her. Judging from the light…<em> 'The sun hasn't quite set yet…it's only about six, probably…'<em> She groaned, rapping her head lightly against the desktop.

'_I haven't played the _koto_ since this morning. I think my fingers could take a little more,'_ Hisana decided, climbing to her feet.

She walked towards the room where she practiced, enjoying the smell of the clean outside air. The weather had been perfect for travel to Rukongai, so it was a rather annoying choice on the sky's part to choose these particular days to be cooperative. She had promised she would stay here, and so she did. But being stuck inside the walls that she'd never been fond of while her favorite person was away, with no one to sit down and talk to for any length of time…well, it was driving her insane.

Hisana opened the door and stepped inside. She faltered on the threshold, hesitant to close herself inside a musty room for another three hours, "Well…I don't think my playing will bother anyone too much," she mumbled, leaving the door open and going to sit behind her treasured instrument.

Slipping the picks onto her fingers always gave its own simple pleasure. It had even become a nervous habit for her to pull the picks on and off while she paused between songs, and when she wasn't even sitting down with the instrument, she would run her fingers over the place where the picks would be, the motion itself calming.

'_Is that what they call an "occupational hazard"?' _she wondered, strumming a few notes experimentally. It was a little sharp today, but that was to be expected, since it was cold, and Hisana was in no great mood to tune the instrument today.

She inhaled deeply and bent forward the play. Despite being out of tune, it was still soothing, and suddenly being alone didn't feel like such an agonizing thing.

* * *

><p>"Get down!"<p>

The subordinate dropped to the icy ground, covering her head as Byakuya send a flurry of razor-sharp blades above her, engulfing the hollow behind her.

'_This isn't possible!'_ Byakuya thought savagely, sending his zanpaku-to in a small cyclone around him, taking out three other hollows, but only a dent in the number that had surrounded them. He'd given up counting.

Someone wailed in fear behind him, and he spun around without a thought, "_Hadou no sanjuusan: Soukatsui!_" The snake-like hollow screamed in agony as the blue flames burned it, and its cries turned to ghostly echoes as it faded into black.

Ten subordinates had come with him, and six of them now laid scattered around the clearing in varying shades of wounded. One was simply unconscious against a snapped tree trunk. Another was lying ten meters away, his arm staining the snow red on the other side of the battlefield.

'_I'm supposed to prevent this from happening. I'm not supposed to be standing here while my subordinates die around me!' _He used _shunpo_ to avoid being skewered, sending his attacker into the forest, thrust with a pink cloud that devoured the hollow.

_Master, you must use _bankai_ if you are to continue to protect these men and yourself. _

Senbonzakura rang in his head and he gritted his teeth. Yes, his bankai was under his control, but he'd never used it in battle. He had mastered any kind of accuracy and power imaginable when he trained alone, but would he be quick enough to avoid killing the others?

_If you do not do it now, then when? While the weaker ones are practically dead on the fringes of the battlefield or cowering in fear is the time to do this. They will not move into your path. _

"You had better be right," Byakuya warned, calling the petals back to him before dropping the blade, watching it sink into the ground as a procession of larger-than-life replicas rose up on either side of him, "_Bankai: Senbonzakura Kageyoshi_."

The blades scattered behind him, the number of petals ten-fold that had been there before. He controlled the flow of the blades mentally, watching icily as the clouds buried another ten hollows that had been encroaching on two fallen men, and drew a fraction of the blades in front of him, acting as a shield as another witless hollow attempted to attack.

The hollows were still coming in massive numbers, but he felt more in control now. Yes, definitely more in control. _'I can win this,' _Byakuya realized, confidence flooding through him as he took out another wave of the invaders, _'Their power cannot measure to mine.' _

He began to kill them more quickly than they arrived when he chose to guide the petals with his hand, and the numbers started to dwindle slowly. He didn't notice the subordinate that he'd protected behind him yelling frantically until he felt an overwhelming pain in his gut. He looked down in shock, his vision already beginning to haze red, to see a claw protruding out his front. Suddenly he realized what she'd been yelling: _"Run." _

He vaguely heard the hollow scream and felt it disintegrate before collapsing into darkness.

* * *

><p>"Oh for the love of-!" Hisana gasped, aggravated, as a string snapped under her fingers. She picked up the two silken halves, staring at them venomously, "Is this really fair? Leaving me to sulk in my loneliness again?"<p>

* * *

><p>"Hisana, please wake up!"<p>

Hisana groaned, rising from her bed. She rubbed her eyes, struggling to blindly throw back the blanket, "What is it?" she called groggily, walking shakily towards the door.

The door opened and Hisana was dimly aware that it was the black of night, and Miyako-chan was standing outside, her eyes wide with what Hisana realized suddenly was fear.

"Miyako-chan, what happened?" She asked quickly, a pit starting to form in her stomach.

"Byakuya-sama is at the 4th Squad. Ginrei-sama said you need to come!" the girl responded in a single breath.

"4th Squad…? Why would he be at a different squad?" Hisana whispered.

"That's the hospital. He's hurt," Miyako explained, the fear in her eyes seeping into her voice.

Hisana didn't need to hear another word to grab the nearest _haori_ and run towards the gates.

* * *

><p>Hisana sat in a stiff, hard-backed chair, clutching Byakuya's hand with all the strength she had left. He was still unconscious, even though the dawn was just about to break. She was told that a back-up squad had come and rescued the team Byakuya had been leading. She'd also been told that if that squad had been a minute later, Byakuya would not be breathing here beside her. That squad had gathered the wounded and brought them to the 4th Squad, all the way across Rukongai. The wounded had been admitted to the infirmary at around 3. Hisana had been called for half an hour later.<p>

She watched Byakuya breath – more shallow and labored than usual. She felt hollow inside. These had been the longest two hours of her life. The second she'd arrived at the barracks, she felt as if everything inside her had been ripped out.

_She sat curled on the floor outside the operating room, her head buried against her knees. She barely noticed anything except the pain in her chest. Was it fear? Panic? She couldn't even tell the difference. She was beyond the instinct to cry. Her eyes were dry now, but she was frozen. _

_When she'd arrived at the 4th Squad, and Ginrei-sama, ignoring her attire, had told her what kind of injury Byakuya had sustained, she'd just stared at him. _

'No, that can't be right,'_ she'd thought._

'Byakuya does get wounded from time to time, but he's so strong, he'd never get a wound so bad. Ginrei-sama must be exaggerating…'_ she'd tried to convince herself, but when she looked up at her grandfather-in-law, all she saw was the same emptiness she'd seen in Byakuya's eyes the night he'd come to tell her Soujun-sama had died. _

_And then she'd fainted. _

_Once the 4th Squad nurses had gotten her to her feet, she'd asked if she could see Byakuya, but they told her that he was still in surgery, and so she'd demanded to be taken there to wait. They hesitated, but for once in her life she used her leverage of being married to the heir of a noble house, and they relented. _

She jumped when Byakuya suddenly took a deep intake of breath and slowly opened his eyes, staring blankly up at the ceiling before turning slightly to notice her.

"Byakuya," she choked, clutching his hand harder, "You're alright now. You're at the 4th Squad."

He started to open his mouth to speak but she reached out with her other hand and closed it, "No, don't," she swallowed back the dryness her voice had taken on, "You have no business talking right now. Just rest."

"I'm fine," he responded, his voice drier than hers, "You look terrible," he said, a slight upturn of his lips showing that he was obviously trying to be funny.

"There's nothing fine or funny about this, you idiot. And if you think I look terrible, you should look in a mirror," Hisana shook her head, a half-smile in return, warmth seeping back into her heart. If he could say things like this, then she was sure he really would be alright.

"Is that the sort of thing you say to someone lying in a hospital—," he was cut off with a harsh cough, raising his right hand to cover his mouth. Hisana gasped to see it come back red with blood.

"I said you have no business talking," she said, wiping the blood off his lips with the sleeve of her _haori_.

He closed his eyes, and nodded as well as he could while lying down, "I'm sorry for worrying you."

Hisana didn't say anything as she reached over him to grab his other hand, carefully wiping the blood away. Maybe if she shut her mouth, he'd stay quiet. There would be plenty of time for talking later. She was confident in that now.

"How long have I been here?"

She sighed, "Really, Byakuya. You just woke up from life-saving surgery."

"How long?"

He really wasn't going to shut up, "As far as I know, only 3 hours. You were the priority, so some of the other 6th Squad members are being treated now."

"I see."

Hisana licked her thumb, using it to scrub away the last of the blood on his palm. He closed his hand around her fingers, causing her to look up at him again, "I'm sorry I almost left you alone."

Tears threatened to flow at the corners of her eyes, but she shut them down. She'd done enough crying. There was no need for her to make him feel worse, "Don't apologize. I knew you'd be okay. I've already let my family go once. I wasn't about to do it again."

"Family…" he mused quietly, "I understand that sentiment exactly. I lost my father on the battlefield. To cause you to go through the same thing would be the height of injustice."

"Family is the most important," Hisana murmured, more to herself than otherwise, "And it should grow, never shrink. The need to endure is on everyone shoulder's right? We have to stay alive to keep the family alive."

He turned his head, smiling slightly, "Grow and never shrink, hm?"

She felt a blush rising in her cheeks, and she smiled back, "That's the idea isn't it?" She leaned forward to kiss him lightly. She could still taste the blood that had been on his lips.

When she sat back in the chair, she gave him back his now-clean hand so he could rest it comfortably on his other side while she held the other one, "Now sleep. You look terrible."

He closed his eyes, letting a breath out, "I'll sleep if you do, or I shall feel guilty for keeping you awake."

She laughed shortly, "Okay, I'll keep your guilt away," she said, laying her head down on the bed beside their interwoven hands, smiling up at him before she let the exhaustion take over.

* * *

><p>AN: I'm putting off a load of Japanese homework to get this done. _I hope you're happy_.

Just teasing, I enjoy writing this, you know I do.

But as school has started, expect more long hiatuses. I am sorry…My plan is to finish this by the end of the year (as in 2012). Four more chapters! I'll try to work in as much as I can between homework.

As a side note, I've combined the first two chapters of this fanfic into one, so now there's no prologue. I also went in and edited "Solo" to fix some grammatical and formatting errors. I'm satisfied now.


	13. Modulation

Hisana leaned on the doorframe, crossing her arms adamantly, "No."

"My office is a few hundred meters away, I can walk that-,"

"_No._"

She smiled triumphantly when Byakuya closed his eyes and let his breath out in what could only be called a huff before turning around and removing his casual _haori. _He sat down purposefully on the _futon_ and glowered at her.

"Don't give me that, how old _are _you? I'm doing this for your own good," Hisana chided, stepping inside and closing the door behind her, "Unohana-_taichou_ _said_ that you need constant bed rest. You had a hole through the middle of your body two days ago, you know!"

Byakuya's face scrunched distastefully, "And it's closed now,"

Hisana rolled her eyes, "So if I were to walk over to you and slap you in the gut, it wouldn't hurt?"

He winced visibly and Hisana sighed – he was so unbelievably stubborn, "But I don't suppose you need to be doing nothing while you're confined to your bed. Do you want me to get your paperwork out of your office _for_ you? I know where everything is."

He smiled apologetically, losing the frown, "Only if you stay here when you come back,"

"Oh, I suppose so, but _only_ because you asked," she laughed, opening the door behind her and heading out.

_'Honestly,' _she thought, walking down the pathway to the next building, _'He would get better so much faster if he would just take care of himself. If he works too hard when he's sick, he'll never heal!' _

His devotion to his work was admirable though, and she did love watching him doing things he loved. Paperwork wasn't exactly his favorite thing in the world, but she was constantly amused by the dark muttering he'd let out when going through mundane sheets, quietly complaining about the stupidity of some people.

She laughed quietly to herself, and didn't notice that she was falling until it was too late. The swoon came seemingly out of nowhere, but the moment she collapsed on the pathway, she suddenly felt the dizziness buzzing in her head, and the growing pain behind her eyes.

She groaned, trying to ignore it, and grabbed a nearby pole to pull herself up, not noticing the girl running towards her.

"Hisana-sama, are you alright?!" Miyako cried, quickly reaching out to support her.

"I'm fine, Miyako-chan. I don't know what that was…" She accepted the girl's help, one arm bracing Miyako's shoulder, the other pressed against her temple, trying to block the pain.

"I'll go get Byakuya-sama, if Hisana-sama would please wait here—,"

"No," Hisana said, standing on her own, letting her arms drop innocently to her sides, "He doesn't have to bothered about it, I was probably just lost in thought and wasn't paying attention,"

"But, Hisana-sama—!"

"And Miyako-chan," Hisana smiled, putting a gentle hand on the girl's head, "What happened to calling me Hisana? You're being so formal."

Miyako blinked slowly up at her before looking down, an ashamed shadow crossing her face, "My- my sincerest apologies Hisana-sama, but…" she bowed her head a little more, "I think Yoko-san would be mad at me. She's really really strict about the family rules, and if she found out I was calling Hisana-sama so casually…" she trailed off into a mumble, crossing her arms awkwardly behind her back.

Hisana's heart clenched at her words, _'Oh, don't act so upset, Hisana,' _she thought to herself, _'You stopped challenging the family's way of doing things years ago,' _

She withdrew her hand, bending down so that she was on the girl's level, "I understand, Miyako-chan. I don't want you to get in trouble."

Miyako nodded before raising her eyes to Hisana's again, "Is Hisana-sama sure that I shouldn't go for help?"

"Yes, I'm fine," she smiled encouragingly, as another jab of pain flared behind her eyes.

Miyako bowed, "Then I'll go back to work. Please take care, Hisana-sama!" Before Hisana could say anything else, the girl half-ran in the other direction.

Her words lingered in Hisana's heart, like shards of ice threatening to spread the cold into all her feelings. _'Is it really such a problem to call someone by their first name?' _Hisana pondered, continuing down the path to the office, _'I know I used to be just as hard on myself when it came to that kind of formality…' _

She suddenly smiled, her heart warming, _'I remember when I first came here for that first _hanami_, I was so careful to call Byakuya as "Byakuya-sama", and I was so afraid of how the nobles would react if I did one thing wrong…'_

She often thought happily how much things had changed since then, but had they really? She outwardly ignored it by now of course, but she did register the clucking of tongues and the shakes of heads whenever Hisana would act openly casual with Byakuya. It was completely ridiculous of course. Why shouldn't she be free to laugh with her husband, or hold his hand for no reason, or that so simple thing of calling his name without honorifics? She may have come to peace with the harshness of the rules here, but that did not mean they had softened since she became one of them.

She rubbed her temples more vigorously. The headache just didn't seem fair.

* * *

><p>"Are you feeling well?"<p>

Hisana lifted her head sleepily from the pillow, startled. She groaned, turning over so that she was lying on her back, and looked up at Byakuya, who was sitting beside her, "Sorry. I guess I was just feeling drowsy."

Byakuya frowned, rearranging the papers on the small desk Hisana had brought, "I thought I was the one who needed extra rest. It isn't as though you didn't sleep well last night."

"I know," she murmured, shutting her eyes again, "It's odd. I feel as though I slept more than usual, and yet I'm still…" she shrugged.

She felt Byakuya's hand press against her forehead, and even after all these years, relished the simple, innocent touch. "You don't seem to have a fever," he said slowly, "Although I'm not highly qualified to judge if you're ill or not."

Hisana's dizzy spell flashed through her memory and her heart clenched. _Was _she getting sick? "It's nothing to be worried about. Maybe I just need to let whatever it is go away with sleep…" she smirked, a sudden thought occurring to her, "And at least this way, you won't be lonely, Byakuya."

She opened her eyes to see Byakuya looking down at her as though he was holding something back, "Is something wrong?"

He held her gaze for a long few seconds before speaking, "…No, it's nothing."

"Hmmm?" Hisana encouraged, pulling herself up so that she could sit, and rested her head on his shoulder, "You can't give me a look like that and just expect me to drop the subject. Out with it."

She felt his shoulder shake once with a breathy laugh, "I don't believe I will ever get used to how bossy you're capable of being."

"I am _not,_" Hisana countered indignantly, not bothering to cover up her grin, "I only seem that way because no one else contradicts you." She reached out and plucked the brush out of his hand, poking his leg irritably with the back end, "And your attempt to change the subject was feeble. What's bothering you?"

Byakuya let out a long sigh, taking the brush back and placing it on the portable desk before moving it ("You shouldn't be lifting that!") to the side. He placed his hand on hers, letting her flip her hand the other way so that she could weave her fingers with his.

"Well?"

"You are being remarkably impatient for a woman who just said she was tired," he said, rolling his eyes, "I simply needed to think about how to phrase it."

"Well hurry and think, before I fall asleep again."

"Do you recall," he started, ignoring her, "how we were discussing the purpose of family while I was recuperating in the 4th Squad?"

Hisana stopped for a moment, thinking back to the other day. She suppressed the immediate queasiness that accompanied the circumstances surrounding the memory, but nodded, "Yes. Something about how they shouldn't shrink, but rather, uhm, grow?" Was he really going in this direction…?

"That was it. And I have been wondering, following that idea…" he paused, "That is, I've been thinking…"

Hisana looked up at him, and immediately covered her mouth, burying her face in his shoulder to smother her laughter. She knew she shouldn't, but she simply couldn't contain the giggles racking her body.

"Is something funny?" he sounded downright irked, Hisana noticed, and she did feel guilty, but she couldn't help it.

"S-sorry," she choked out, "It's just…you're _blushing_!" she giggled, and was only overcome by another fit when his face became even redder, "It isn't as though we haven't…" she laughed, unable to finish.

He coughed, trying to bring the blush down, "I don't see what you find so humorous about this."

Hisana took a deep breath, calming herself, and squeezed his hand, "I'm sorry, truly, it's just…" she shook her head, "are you trying to say you want to be a father?" She hid another smirk when the blush came back.

"That was the suggestion," he said slowly. He turned slightly so that he was facing more towards her, "What do you think?"

Hisana locked eyes with him, trying to understand what he was thinking. She had just disrupted his thought process after all. She could tell that he was still a little put off by her reaction, but there was no question that it was something he'd been pondering for a while, and he was obviously anxious to hear her opinion.

It wasn't as though she hadn't been thinking about it either. They'd been married for almost six years. Had he done what the elders wanted and had an arranged marriage, she had no doubt that the elders would have had their next heir nine months later. That was the point of marriages, to them. And after every passing month, she didn't doubt that they shook their heads in disdain at her never-changing body.

She took a deep breath, trying to collect her thoughts, "Yes, I think…I know that I want that, too," she nodded, keeping eye contact with him as she chose her words carefully, "I want to have a baby, too."

Her heart clenched at the endearing hope she saw spark in his eyes, "Then—,"

"But," she interrupted, feeling nausea well up in her stomach again.

He stopped, and waited.

"But I…can't. Not, not yet," she bit her lip, lowering her eyes. She didn't want to watch the hope fade. She was already dreading what she was about to say, "I'm sorry, it's just…I want to, really. The idea alone just sounds more wonderful than I can imagine, and I want to, but I…I would feel so _guilty_," she admitted, watching Byakuya's free hand as it came to rest on their intertwined ones. "I sometimes think about holding a child of ours in my arms, and it reminds me of when I was alone in Inuzuri with Rukia, and the baby I see always has her face, and more and more I feel as though…if I didn't find her first, and know if she's alright, I just don't know if I could ever look at that baby without remembering that the last time I held the care of a child in my hands, I abandoned her," she finished, all loving laughter gone from the room.

Byakuya didn't speak, but moved his hand again to wrap around her waist and bring her close, "So what you're saying," he began, "is that you don't want a child until you find your sister?"

She nodded against his chest, her heart clenching painfully, "I'm sorry…I'm so, so sorry,"

The arm around her tightened reassuringly, "Don't. There's no need to apologize. I don't want you to be in pain,"

She nodded again, letting go of his hand so that she could wrap her arms around his back, but was only barely comforted, "I hate that any guilt of mine is keeping you from something you want," she whispered. It was something that had been bothering her for a while, but she had been afraid to admit it. The truth of it was that she had been thinking about the idea of children with Byakuya for a long time, for years. But her history with Rukia always brought her back down, and the two sides of her heart always left her in an aching internal war.

"…Hisana, it's been a long time since you heard any news of someone with your sister's likeness. You know there is a possibility that Rukia isn't in the Soul Society anymore at all."

Hisana inhaled sharply from his careful and yet blunt statement, one that voiced the fear that had been growing inside her, "…Yes. I know."

He didn't say anything more, and they simply held each other for a few minutes.

She was the one to break the silence, "Maybe…how about if I said, by the end of the year?"

Byakuya pulled back so that he could see her face, the look on his clearly confused.

"I mean, if by the end of the year, I still can't find evidence of her," she started, tasting the words on her tongue, weighing the pulls of her battling emotions, "I accept that I've lost her…and hope I could be a better mother than I was a sister?"

Byakuya put a hand on her cheek, "She is important to you. I don't want you to leave behind something precious to you for my sake,"

Hisana smiled, pushing his chest weakly, "So selfish, it wouldn't just be for your sake. Didn't I say it's what I want, too?"

He smiled back tentatively, kissing her lightly, "The end of the year, then."

"The end of the year," she agreed, pulling him down for another kiss.

* * *

><p>A week later, Hisana found herself struggling against the pounding dizziness in her head, leaning against another pole as Yoko came hurrying towards her.<p>

_'Why? Why do I have to be caught whenever these spells come on? How is this fair?' _she thought with as much venom as she could muster, focusing on staying conscious as she fought the rising sick feeling in her stomach.

"Hisana-sama, what's wrong?" the servant asked frantically, not without a heavy amount of motherly concern.

Hisana shook her head as much as she could while keeping the nausea down, "It's nothing, I'm just a little dizzy, please don't tell Byakuya," she said in one breath, clutching the pole more desperately.

Yoko eyed her with concern. Miyako-chan had come to her some days ago, obviously worried, and told her that she had found Hisana-sama passed out on the ground. Miyako told her that Hisana had requested she not tell Byakuya-sama, but…well, Yoko was grateful that the girl had enough sense to know that the health of the young Lady of the house needed close watch. And what was more, she had known to trust Yoko with the information, and not one of the members of the family who would be less than concerned with the immediate health of their Lady.

"Hisana-sama, please, come with me," Yoko urged, supporting the ill woman by the waist.

"No, I—,"

"Hisana-sama," Yoko said more indignantly, pulling her towards the servants quarters, "Please."

Hisana released the pole, reluctantly, and put some of her weight on the elderly woman, "…Alright."

* * *

><p>"Thank you," Hisana said, accepting the cup of green tea, raising it to her lips. The bitter taste easily cleared the fogginess that lingered in her mind.<p>

"Of course, m' lady," Yoko replied, sitting in front of the other woman, "You won' be offended if I sit with you?"

"Not at all," Hisana shook her head, gesturing that Yoko should rest beside her.

Yoko watched her drink. She did not seem particularly ill. Her complexion had strengthened since coming inside, and the pale-face with cold sweat had sunk once again beneath the unblemished skin she was accustomed to seeing on the young woman's face. The hands that held the tea did not shake as the legs that had supported her had while she clung to the wooden pole outside. So what…?

"Hisana-sama, are you well?" Yoko asked. It was clear that something was wrong, but she could not put a finger on it.

Hisana froze a moment before setting the tea down and placing her hands carefully on her lap, "I am. I'm healthy."

They were silent, before Yoko persisted, "M' lady, something seems amiss with your health. Are y' sure you didn't eat something that was wrong, or…?"

Yoko watched like a hawk as Hisana's hands fidgeted, her fingers moving nervously, as though she were slipping on and off the picks of her precious _koto_. That was a nervous habit of hers Yoko was used to seeing. Her fingers moved nervously, before she slid them slowly over her abdomen, clenching just slightly, "Yes, Yoko-san, I'm alright."

"…You're with child, aren' you, Hisana-sama?"

She knew she'd hit on the target when Hisana's eyes grew wide before her shoulders slumped, "…I think so. It's been more than a month since I've…I mean…"

Yoko finished her sentence, "I'm the one who cleans your clothes, m' lady, I know."

Hisana nodded, suddenly seeming as though she hadn't slept in days. And for all Yoko knew, she hadn't.

"Please don't tell Byakuya. Or anyone," Hisana pleaded.

"But m' lady—,"

"_Please._" Hisana insisted, looking over at the elderly woman, the pleading in her eyes speaking volumes more than her voice. Yoko didn't understand the meaning of the desperation in her request, but she heard the emotion.

"…If you'll permit me t' care for you and make sure y' stay healthy…alright."

The relief that mixed with the anxiety in her eyes resulted in such a dissonance to Yoko's perception, she was immediately concerned not only for the physical well being of the Lady, "_Arigatou_, Yoko-san."

* * *

><p>AN: I know. As if the latest chapters of Bleach weren't depressing enough. And I'm sorry to say this isn't going to get any happier.

Either two or three more chapters to go, I haven't decided.


	14. Grave

Hisana swung from the edge of the roof, frowning in concentration. Were her arms always this weak? She gritted her teeth, struggling to pull herself up before she succeeded and sprawled out, panting.

She hadn't been to Inuzuri in weeks. A few days after she'd confessed to Yoko about her, well, condition, Ginrei-_ojii-_sama had told Byakuya that his presence was requested for a captaincy exam. Hisana had been playing the _koto_ at the time, and when Byakuya burst into the room with a look of pure, childish excitement, she had been brought out of her own dark thoughts and had to laugh and celebrate with him. That was a week ago.

_'It means so much to him, I'm glad he was still given the chance,' _she thought happily, a smile starting to spread across her face. After the squad's widespread casualties and Byakuya's own grievous injury, it had been clear that he thought he had no chance at the offer. But, as he had told her over dinner the night after his exam, apparently the squad who had rescued them saw the extent that Byakuya had been able to protect his subordinates, and deemed that it wasn't his fault that the hollows had been leagues stronger than anticipated. According to the witnesses, had Byakuya not been there, it was quite likely there would have been no survivors.

She sat up and crossed her legs comfortably in such an unladylike way, she was sure the House would disown her immediately if they saw her. The sun was still high in the sky, she noticed, but it was clearly after noon, and the results of Byakuya's exam were supposed to be declared today.

_ 'I should head back soon. I want to be there when he gets his results back,' _she nodded to herself, stretching her legs before starting to sprint across the roofs back to the _Ume_, where the servant to take her back to Seireitei was waiting.

But after a hundred feet or so, she stopped, clutching her stomach. She took a deep breath, sinking to her knees, trying to dispel the nausea that had risen inside her with willpower alone. A little voice inside her was screaming that a pregnant woman had no business running across buildings in the slums, when she should be lying down and resting.

_ 'But I have to find Rukia first. I can't do this until I know where she is. I don't deserve to hold another baby in my arms until I've found the one I abandoned,' _she reminded herself, the ill feeling only intensifying. She clapped a hand over her mouth, doing her best to keep her breakfast down. She was better than this. She wasn't going to succumb to this. She could act normal until she found Rukia. She just had to search harder. Byakuya didn't have to know a thing as long as she found Rukia soon, and then she could tell him that she was going to have a baby, their baby, and he would be so happy, of course she could tell he wanted to be a father like Soujun-sama had been, and he would be just as wonderful, she knew it…

But that fleeting thought disappeared when she lost the battle with her stomach.

* * *

><p>Hisana twisted her hair on top of her head, holding it in place with a towel, before slipping carefully into the bath. Byakuya wasn't back yet, but maybe that was for the best. He may not know why, but Hisana knew he was observant enough to notice that she wasn't sleeping well, and her dizzy spells and headaches were coming more and more often. And she had begun to stop counting the number of times he had questioned her sudden lack of appetite.<p>

Frowning, she looked down at her own body. She wasn't an expert, but she had lived at the _Ume_ for years – she knew pregnancy symptoms better than most people, she was sure. And by her reckoning, she should have appeared to be gaining weight, not losing it. _'It's probably the morning sickness. And, well, I guess I've been running around Rukongai a lot…and I try not to eat a lot anymore…' _

She rubbed a hand just under her belly button, _'I wonder if I look bigger. It's been six weeks…' _she bit her lower lip worriedly, _'I wouldn't notice that small a change, but would Byakuya…?' _

She wasn't sure. Sometimes she thought he knew her body better than she did. It wasn't as though she spent ample time looking at herself in a mirror or while she was in the bath. Byakuya looked at her much more often, and she supposed the same could be true for her. Perhaps she knew his face better than he knew it. Of course, she'd spent decades watching him, loving him.

_'Well, worrying won't do me any good at this point,' _she shook her head, crossing her arms over her stomach, curling into herself slightly. She didn't notice the towel slip off her head. _'I just need to keep this up. She's still there, I know it. I'll check every building in Inuzuri,' _she resolved, laying her head on her knees.

"I'm going to be okay. We're going to be okay," Hisana whispered to herself, unsure of which 'we' she was referring to.

There was a knock at the door, and she jumped slightly. "Hisana? Can I come in?" It seemed that Byakuya was home.

Hisana made sure her arms were covering her possibly enlarged stomach before answering, "Yes, go ahead."

The door opened and Byakuya walked in, fully clothed, seeming disheveled but otherwise in a good mood, "You didn't want to wait for me to come home?"

She forced a small laugh, "Sorry. I went to Inuzuri today, and I was a bit dirty."

He walked over, sitting on the floor behind her, "Then I suppose I'll have to forgive you."

"Yes, yes, I am sorry," she responded with a genuine smile, looking back at him.

"Don't be," Byakuya put his hand in the water, bringing up the fallen towel. He put it on the floor beside him, "You know these function better when they're dry."

"Mmm," Hisana rolled her eyes and crossed her arms more tightly.

She felt his hand trail across her bare shoulder briefly before he started running his fingers through her hair, straightening out knots she had missed.

"Did you get your exam results back?" Hisana asked, quietly enjoying the moment.

He responded with a sigh that conveyed so much exasperation that Hisana had to grin, "No. And _Ojii-_sama was off doing errands at other barracks today, on purpose I should think." He was silent for a few moments, just continuing to brush her hair. It had been a while since they were able to sit down and simply enjoy the other's presence. "I think he intends to inform me of the results later tonight."

"A grandfather-grandson bonding moment, I'm sure," Hisana said, briefly considering the significance of that alone. Ginrei_-ojii-_sama didn't seem to have the same paternal relationship that Byakuya had once had with Soujun-sama. So she was always happy when he made time to talk to Byakuya, even if it only was work-related.

"Hmm," Byakuya hummed noncommittally. He lowered his hands then, moving to stand up, "I think I'll go clean up. Will you wait here for me?"

Hisana smile froze, her thoughts jumping to her changing shape. But she shooed the thought away – it wasn't as though he was going to be suspicious.

"Of course," she turned to him, guilt washing over her at his returning smile, "Take as long as you need."

* * *

><p>Something was off with Hisana. Byakuya couldn't put his finger on it, but there was something. <em>'She's been going to Inuzuri more often lately. She's probably just worried about her sister,'<em> he concluded, sitting by the window in their bedroom. The odd thing was, during inclement weather, she would normally stay home.

But it was pouring rain outside in an unexpected, mid-January storm. There was also an unexpectedly slow stream of work for the 6th Squad, and so his grandfather had given him today as a break. He had passed it off as an inconvenience for Byakuya to come out to the barracks in today's weather, but Byakuya had a sneaking suspicion that it was more to do with the fact that he had passed the captaincy exam, and was giving him a small reward.

When he had found out three days ago, he didn't know how to even react. His grandfather had raised him from his teenage years to be the kind of man who didn't show excessive emotion. And gods, had he had some excessive emotions to show. But he didn't. That would just have to wait until he told Hisana. So he had bowed respectfully, thanking his grandfather. Ginrei stepping aside into retirement from being the captain of Squad 6 had more implications than only to the squad – it also meant that he was retiring from his position as Head of the Family. Byakuya wasn't going to be only the heir for much longer.

At any rate, he had hoped that he might spend his day off with Hisana, but when he had returned home after his grandfather dismissed him, she had already left. Or rather, he noticed she wasn't still asleep in bed, and went to find her, but he ran into one of the elderly maids he saw knew tended Hisana on a regular basis, and _she_ told him that Hisana had left.

So here he was, late afternoon, sitting next to a window watching the rain fall. He had been unable to concentrate on anything else all day.

Suddenly a thought occurred to him. If she wasn't here, why couldn't he go to her? Though her _reiatsu_ was relatively weak, he knew it so well that it would be easy to find her in the crowds of Inuzuri. _'She doesn't want me helping, but that's only due to the guilt she feels. She doesn't want to inconvenience me, but she doesn't understand that she can't inconvenience me,' _he thought to himself, resolve growing by the moment as he flung open the door, walking quickly towards the front gates. _'Yes, the faster she finds her sister, the sooner her heart will heal. She won't mind my assistance if we find her in the end. She's only being stubborn,' _

Cursing himself for not realizing this years ago, he ignored the servants rushing to open the gates as he simply leaped over them with _shunpo_, touching the ground outside for only a moment. He turned to continue towards Rukongai when he stopped cold, noticing someone was running towards his direction, carrying someone in their arms.

The person turned out to be the man who escorted Hisana to Rukongai on her ventures, and the figure he was holding was Hisana herself, looking distinctly ill.

Byakuya rushed over to them in an instant, the water splashing away violently at the speed of his steps. He reached over to take his wife from the servant, who released her immediately and moved to a groveling pose in one breath at the sight of Byakuya's expression, "My sincerest apologies, my lord! I should never have let her leave the house in this weather! I will graciously accept any punish-,"

"No," came a horrifyingly raspy voice from Hisana's lips, "N-no punishment. It was my…fault." She choked out, shivering, and Byakuya suddenly noticed the tears mixing with the rain on her face.

The sight of seeing her like this left Byakuya with no patience to suffer fools. He glared down at the servant, "Go," he said simply, just to get the man out of his sight. He obeyed instantly, and Byakuya turned back to the house, pausing only a moment to tell one of the guards at the gate to fetch a doctor from the 4th Squad before hurrying Hisana inside.

* * *

><p>Byakuya sat outside on the veranda impatiently. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so impatient. And worried. So worried. He was fairly certain he had never felt this depth of fear for Hisana's safety. Not even when she was nearly killed by that hollow, all those years ago. Then it had been a simple flick of his wrist to send his power to destroy the monster and save her life.<p>

It was not so simple this time.

And what was worse, after Byakuya had helped her change into dry clothes, and she was lying down, still shivering, and the doctor had come…Hisana had asked him to leave the room. He had obliged, not without some hurt hesitation, but now that he was sitting out in the wet atmosphere of the night, with only his thoughts to keep him company…those feelings about whether Hisana had been doing alright as of late were only intensifying, and mixing with this new fear that she might have pushed herself too far this time.

The door opened behind him, and he scrambled to his feet without a thought, urging the 4th Squad member with an imploring look, completely unashamed.

She bowed respectfully before rising and his heart clenched to see that she was not wearing a smiling, reassuring expression, but a grave one, "Kuchiki-taichou, your wife will recover, but she needs bed rest and a moderated diet. If you will permit me, I can inform the kitchen of recommendations for her health."

He nodded, bowing ever so slightly, "Please do. Is there anything else I should know?"

The shinigami opened her mouth to speak, but she stopped, which Byakuya found suspicious and narrowed his eyes at her. But she fixed her expression and bowed again, "She will recover with rest, Kuchiki-taichou. I will go inform the kitchens. Please excuse me," and she turned and left before he could respond.

But he shook his head and decided that wasn't important right now, and moved inside, his heart relaxing once he saw that the color in Hisana's face had returned.

He smiled weakly at her as he sat down, but she didn't return it. She just looked at him blankly, and he could see all the years of guilt and exhaustion in her eyes, "I'm sorry."

Byakuya reached for the hand she had laid on her stomach, but she moved it, covering her mouth as she screwed her face up to try to stop the tears.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" she whispered, closing her eyes. Byakuya watched, stunned and unsure what was going on, as the tears leaked from her eyes.

He wiped them away, though more soon took their place, "Hisana, stop apologizing. How many times have I told you not to be sorry? I never blame you for the things you think I will. So please…" he gently pulled her hand away from her face, gripping it firmly, and used his other hand to tilt her chin so that when she opened her eyes, she was looking directly at him, "…won't you tell me what is bothering you? Something is wrong, something you're not telling me."

Hisana just stared at him for a long minute, and Byakuya knew that whatever the cause was, whatever was wrong was giving her guilt that rivaled her regret about Rukia.

"I can't," she said, finally, her lower lip trembling, "I just…I-I can't."

Not letting go of her hand, Byakuya rose and stepped lightly over her so that he could lie beside her on the bed. She rolled onto her side to face him, giving him the same guilty, but completely drained, look.

He stroked her cheek, drying fresh tears, "What can't you do?" he asked, in a voice as quiet as hers.

She shook her head, burying her head in his chest, and he heard her answer, "I can't. I'm so sorry."

Byakuya held her as she felt asleep, but he found himself faced with lying there, wide-awake with worry and questions with no answers.

* * *

><p>"Did you go to Rukongai again the other day?"<p>

Hisana smiled apologetically, "Yes, I'm sorry."

It had been a week since she had run out into the rain to search for Rukia. Looking back on it, she knew why the servant had seemed to question her sanity when she asked him to take her to Inuzuri. But at the time, she had been out of her mind, determined to go, typhoon or not. So when she had started walking down the street towards Rukongai, the servant had had no choice but to chase after and obey her. It wasn't that she'd wanted to bully him into taking her to search for Rukia, but she had been dead-set and hysterical, so damn it all, she was going.

And then after she had come back, or rather, been brought back, she had been soaked, shivering, and because of it, she was sick. Pneumonia, the doctor had called it. Oh, the doctor. That had been the worst. She hadn't wanted Byakuya to leave the room – rather, she had wanted him there more than anything. But if anyone was going to notice that she was pregnant, it was a doctor, and she was still set on finding Rukia before her pregnancy was obvious.

Because of that, she had snuck out a few times in the past week while Byakuya was at work and the servants weren't looking, and made it to Rukongai on her own. She only wandered around the first districts, but it was better than nothing. Maybe Rukia had found her way closer to Seireitei.

"Don't be," Byakuya said, for what seemed like the hundredth time to Hisana. She knew it was hard for him when she apologized so much but gave no reason, but it assuaged her guilt at least a small amount. And she had decided to start speaking to him as the House thought she should, at least in public. The first time she had called him "Byakuya-sama" over dinner a few nights ago, his shock had been clear, but he didn't question it then. And when they bathed later that night and she called him simply "Byakuya" again, he didn't bring up her earlier speech change.

"I'm not angry with you. I'm just concerned for your health," he finished.

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye as he spoke. Her health…her health was the question, wasn't it? But she would get better. A little thing like pneumonia wasn't going to stop her from finding Rukia within the next few weeks, "Byakuya-sama, about that—,"

She was cut off by racking coughs. They didn't stop, and she felt her knees give way, Byakuya calling her name in alarm. She felt the pain in her lungs, but when the coughs finally went away, the pain did not. Byakuya's arms were around her, and from the way he was gripping her shoulders, she could tell he was ready to sweep her up and confine her to bed for a month. He was worried, she knew.

"_Daijoubu desu_, Byakuya-sama," she muttered, a hand covering her mouth.

"You don't need to speak, don't push yourself," he pleaded, his hands tightening.

_'He really is worried, and it's all my fault…just another thing that I'm doing to wrong him…'_ she thought, becoming more discouraged by the second. She knew there was reason for him to be concerned. Now that she was ill, she really was losing weight at an alarming rate, and though she ate, she never felt nourished. And now she noticed beyond a doubt the bump rising from the new life inside her. There was reason for him to be worried, and she was starting to wonder if she wasn't worried herself.

But she looked up at him, smiling encouragingly, for him, and for her own sake, "No, I just can't stop looking. Even when I'm like this…"

The concern in his face didn't waver. If anything, the cloud of worry only intensified.

She reached up, cupping his cheek in her palm – she noticed that her hands were bonier than they used to be, and her skin was, unusually, markedly paler than his, "It's going to be okay."

And she almost believed it herself as she watched him close his eyes, placing his hand over hers, swallow back what she realized was probably fear, and nod.

* * *

><p>AN: One more chapter, and then an epilogue. I will get this done before New Year's!

And thank goodness Byakuya's going to be alright! But 519…pfft.


	15. Requiem

The last week was the worst.

The coughing continued to crush her lungs, making it difficult for her to breathe. The morning sickness persisted, and it caused her to have a perpetual lack of appetite, so she barely ate. The mood swings also lingered, but she was so often sick at heart that she barely noticed. The winter air wasn't helping either.

Four days after she'd told Byakuya it was going to be alright, she knew it wasn't.

She knew she was going to die.

* * *

><p><em>January 23, 1956<em>

二三日一月千九百五十六年

_I haven't been out to Inuzuri in a week. The more I think about leaving this bed, the more I know I can't. It's hard to even walk to the bath without someone's help, and I know that if I tried to go to Inuzuri, I would faint before I reached the gates. And I've already troubled Byakuya so much, I could not bear to see his face if I tried to sneak out again. _

Hisana sighed, her breath rattling in her lungs, and closed her current diary. It was only half-full, but she was never going to be able to fill the pages. Yoko had been kind enough to fetch her writing materials; she hadn't wanted to ask Byakuya.

She rolled the pen over in her fingers. It had been a gift to her from Byakuya, from one of his trips to the World of the Living. He called it a "ballpoint pen", and he told her it was more convenient and supposedly easier to use than a brush and ink, or those other "fountain pens". He turned out to be right, and Hisana had needed to refill the pen often over the years she had used it, but it had remained faithful all the way until now. And it enabled her to write from her sick bed without worrying about ink splatters.

Yes, her sick bed. She had been moved to a large, open room elsewhere in the manor – she wasn't sure where – so that the doctors who tended to her didn't have to invade the privacy of the bedroom to examine her. And she knew that they wanted her to have as much rest as possible, so she supposed that they doubted her husband's, ah, _restraint_. That was completely ridiculous, she knew. No one was trying harder to get her to simply sleep and recover than he was. She looked out to her left, watching the wind shake the bare branches of the trees in the garden. The plum blossoms, the _ume_, should be blooming soon – she would know. They were always some of the first to bloom, long before spring even thought about showing its face.

She heard soft footfalls approaching on the veranda, and she quickly lifted the loose _tatami_ mat beside her, throwing the diary and the pen into the small, dark cranny.

She had just fit the mat back into place when Byakuya appeared from around the corner. She smiled up at him, and he started to smile back, but Hisana could tell it was forced. When he came over to sit next to her, she noticed the dark half-circles under his eyes, and she felt even worse – he was losing sleep over her.

Hisana reached for his hands with both of hers, doing her best to put on an encouraging face. But she didn't know what to say. _"Get more sleep"_? No, it was her fault he wasn't getting any. That wouldn't be right. _"You don't need to skip work to come see me"_? But she wanted to be with him as much as possible right now, before she could no longer be. _"I'm going to be alright"_? She knew she wouldn't be.

So she decided to just talk about what was on her mind, "I was thinking about the _koto_ recently. I wish I had kept practicing after I started living here," she had hoped the light topic would lift the mood, but the rasp in her voice killed the vibe.

But she was relieved to see a small smile grace her husband's lips, "I have missed it. You should practice every day like you used to, once your health improves."

Now it was Hisana's turn to show a forced smile. It was clear in comparing their speech tenses what each of them thought was to be her fate, "I always practiced so hard during those years when I would come here for the _hanami_.Although I think part of it was that I wanted to impress you."

"It worked, clearly," he teased lightly, gripping her hands. There was a silence, before Byakuya continued, "I always enjoyed watching you play. At that first _hanami_, I was very taken with the way you expressed yourself with the music. You were oddly nervous—,"

"Not _oddly_. This place is intimidating!"

A raised eyebrow, "Perhaps. But when you played, you seemed very at peace."

Hisana breathed a quiet laugh, "It was the only thing that made me happy. It was all that I _knew_. I knew that with these fingers, I could make something. I haven't done much good in this life of mine, but I think I achieved something beautiful with that instrument."

She knew when Byakuya suddenly looked away, and blinked hard, that what she had just said sounded rather resigned and "parting words"-esque. _'I need to stop doing that, I don't need to make this worse than it already is,' _she admonished herself.

She opened her mouth to rephrase, but was cut off by a round of harsh coughs, pulling her hands away to stifle the sound, Byakuya moving supporting hands to her back. The coughing was rougher and more painful than usual, and when Hisana finally lowered her hands, they were speckled with blood.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Byakuya gather the sleeve of his _haori_ in his palm before taking her hands and wiping away the blood. With a closed expression, he said, "I find our situations somehow reversed. I seem to recall you being preoccupied with bloodied hands while I was recuperating."

Hisana nodded, trying to smile at the irony, but didn't.

"And you'll be stubborn about wanting to move back into your normal routine in a few days, and I'll have to force you to stay put," he continued. Once her hands were clean, he lifted them to his lips, kissing her fingers.

Another nod.

He tried to meet her eyes, "Hisana?"

She kept her eyes on her hands. The more he talked about her recovering, the sicker she felt at heart. The more he talked about her recovering, the more she was reminded of her own foolishness, and selfishness. Instead of being responsible, she had hidden the life inside her from her own husband. And more than that, she took her less-than-healthy body to the slums of Rukongai in appalling weather, and came back weaker than before. And her selfishness had persisted, until she had reached this point, and now she was just so, so tired…

"Hisana," she heard him say again, softer this time, but somehow more firm. He gently lifted her chin with his hand, "You're going to be alright."

Tears of frustration and exhaustion started to line her eyes when she looked into Byakuya's, and she started to agree, "I know. I'm going to be…Soon, I'll just…" she felt her voice crack, and then her resolve.

She raised her thin arms and wrapped them around him, awkwardly leaning from her bed, and buried her head against his chest so that he couldn't see her face. She had to suppress a sob when his arms, his strong arms, crushed her to him.

"I don't want to die," she choked out, and she felt his body rise with a sudden intake of breath, and suddenly his breathing was shaky, "I don't…I don't want to die," she cried again, clenching her brittle fingers into his clothes.

When he didn't respond, and the only sounds she heard were her husband's shallow breaths, accompanied by his shoulders shaking with unsuppressed emotion, she finally let the tears fall.

* * *

><p><em>'I have to play one more time,' <em>Hisana thought, three days later, forcing herself to stay conscious, _'I have to play the _koto_ one more time, for him.' _

She was struggling along the veranda, each step more difficult than the last. Something inside her had changed when she woke up this morning. Her lungs didn't seem to need to work as hard, but she had opened her eyes feeling as though if she closed them again, that would be it. She had to do this.

So she had struggled with the once simple task of putting on her _haori_ and stepping out of bed, and clinging to the walls of the manor as she pulled herself little by little towards the room where her instrument was resting. Would someone else play it when she was gone, she wondered. Or would it end up sitting in that dark room, untouched, for centuries to come?

She turned the last corner, smiling to herself as she paused briefly, eyeing the room just ahead. Sweat dripped down the side of her face as she listened to the sound of her own lungs crackling with effort as they tried to keep the oxygen flowing despite the fluid they were swimming in. _'Just a few more meters,' _Hisana encouraged, starting the final stretch.

But she had only taken three steps before her legs gave way, and she fell with a groan, the pain in her chest only worsening, and she lost consciousness.

* * *

><p>He had only left her side for fifteen minutes, and she had dragged herself out of bed. Byakuya didn't even bother to feign measured calm and walk hurriedly out the door when the servant informed him that his wife had been found unconscious outside the music room and was now lying back in bed, her condition suddenly worse. He turned on the spot and used <em>shunpo<em>,and was standing just outside her room in a matter of seconds.

Byakuya took a deep, calming breath. _'She's alright,' _he told himself, _'If she can walk that far on her own, she's going to be alright.' _

But in his heart he knew that these lies were only going to hurt him in the end.

He opened the door, slowly, stepping into the room. He heard a soft rustling, and looked up to see that Hisana was watching him, her pale lips curled ever so slightly into a smile, "Byakuya-sama."

Why had she started doing that again? What had broken between them that had caused her to do this? It had been weighing on him since she had claimed that she would start talking to him formally again when she could be heard by anyone other than him. What the family thought had never bothered her before. What had changed? Now he knew he might never get the answer.

He sat down beside her, taking her left hand in his, "I'm here, Hisana."

Her quiet smile wasn't pained anymore, like it had been since her illness had taken a turn for the worse. She seemed focused now, and her face was calm. She let out a labored breath before speaking, "I'm sorry for my behavior. I simply…I simply wanted to play again."

"Don't be sorry," he reminded her, "Please, just rest."

She looked into his eyes and carried on as though she hadn't heard him, "There is so much I have failed to do," she whispered, "I abandoned Rukia. I was not the person I could have been. I was selfish…" he noticed her other hand clench over her stomach.

"You are not," Byakuya argued, "What happened was not your fault. You are—,"

"Byakuya-sama," she interrupted, her face suddenly pleading, "Nothing can change the fact that I left my sister. Please…I am no longer going to be able to find her…"

He suddenly understood, and a weight fell on his heart that he had not felt since he heard the news about his father's last battle. He was about to feel that loss again. But this time, Hisana was not going to be there to hold him as he cried.

"Byakuya-sama, please find my sister," she begged, her voice clearer, but more fragile, "And when you find her, please do not tell her I was her sister."

Byakuya gripped her hand tighter, pulling it towards him, "Think of your condition. Please, don't talk." Anything to keep her there a moment longer.

"No," she whispered, "don't tell her. Just protect my younger sister with your strength. I…abandoned her."

"Hisana…"

"I have no right to hear her call me 'sister'. So please…" she smiled, a little hope seeping through, "I hope you will let her call you 'brother'…"

Byakuya's heart pounded frantically. Every word she spoke, her breathing became shallower, and he knew that in her heart, she had already given up on living. She had given up on the little sister she had spent her life searching for. She had given up on him. She had given up on _them. _

He desperately turned his attention to the _ume _tree behind him, "One has just blossomed. Look." They weren't the _sakura _she loved, but maybe these would be enough to keep her awake for just another minute.

"I am so sorry to have been so childish until the end…" she whispered, "I am sorry there is no time for me to return the love you gave me…"

He turned back, locking eyes with her. Her eyes were dimmer, but just as beautiful as they had been when he first saw them. He felt her hand clench his weakly as a last smile graced her face, "These five years I spent with you …were just like a dream…"

She closed her eyes, and he had just enough time to hear her say his name with her final breath before he broke.


	16. Epilogue: Elegy

A/N: I will start with the author's note at the top this time, so that you can finish reading with the story, and not my rambling.

Thank you so, so, SO much for reading this story all the way to end. It means so much to me, and I hope you've enjoyed it. And thank you to those who have been kind enough to tell me that they _have_ enjoyed it. I had so much fun creating my own idea of what Hisana would have been like, and I'm looking forward to continuing that strain of thought with one-shots and the like.

Thank you and enjoy the epilogue!

* * *

><p>Rukia tripped in the middle of the room, over her own two feet. She cursed under her breath, drawing herself up into a sitting position and glaring at the offending section of floor.<p>

_'What kind of shinigami trips over nothing?' _she thought, irked. Instead of getting up and walking away, she laid on her back, deciding to just take a break. She ran a hand through her newly cut hair. It had been a hell of a tough decision, but on the first day of her lieutenant-hood, she'd gone and had it done. She'd never had a particular objection or attachment to her haircut, though it had always been the one thing that connected her to her brother for all those years. Anything she could do to continue to resemble his wife that she knew nothing about…

But just because she'd cut her hair, it didn't mean she was cutting off her connection with Hisana. What the hell kind of connection is a haircut? So she had gotten her locks lopped off, left with a bob that was slowly growing on her.

_'Nii-sama hasn't said anything about it yet…though I guess he wouldn't. He doesn't talk about things like that,' _she mused to herself. That was also a relatively recent thing, in the grand scheme of her time as a member of the Kuchiki-_ke. _The fact that her brother talked to her at all was a huge improvement from before she met Ichigo in the World of the Living.

But Rukia was really happy that she had been able to get to know her brother. He was so much different than she had thought at first (words like "arrogant" and "prick" came to mind, sometimes in the same breath). And different in a good way. Who else appreciated her artwork? _'I still have a long way to go before I can even come close to matching his artistic mastery, but someday…! Maybe he can teach me…I wonder where he even got the idea for Seaweed Ambassador?' _She'd never had the courage to ask. One does not simply ask an artist to explain their inspiration.

She shrugged to herself, looking around the room, her purpose for being here in the first place. Naturally, her older sister had been weighing on her mind since she'd cut her hair, and so she'd started asking questions that she'd never thought she would ever have to ask. If her new relationship with Byakuya had taught her anything, it was that she wanted to know everything she could about her siblings. Plural. So today's question had been directed towards one of the elderly maids: "Where was Nee-sama staying when she passed?"

The room was huge. Huuuuge. The Kuchiki manor was enormous in general, of course, but the rooms were usually normal-sized. Ichigo and Renji could easily spar in here without breaking anything.

_'But I guess,'_ she thought, _'she might have wanted to be here because of the view.' _

There were many gorgeous spots in the gardens, with more species than she could count (_'Nii-sama does seem to have an obsession with gardening_'), but this was particularly nice. It was early spring, so the flowers were all in bloom, the occasional gust of wind blowing a few petals off, letting them fly like snowflakes.

_'Come to think of it…' _Rukia realized, _'That servant the other day told me that they had been married in early spring. I guess that would mean their anniversary would have been around now…' _She shook her head of the thought. Being in the room where her sister had died was sad enough. Thinking about what today could have been was unnecessary baggage.

Something to her right caught her eye and she looked down; one of the _tatami_ mats had been knocked out of place. Concluding it must have been from her trip, Rukia reached over to fix it, but she stopped when she noticed something white below it.

She lifted the mat completely away, setting it aside. Underneath were a book and a pen. Both had clearly been there for years, decades, and she coughed lightly when the dust billowed in her face as she wiped it off.

Suddenly, she heard footsteps, and she panicked, setting the book to the side and quickly fitting the mat back in place. No need to make anyone think she was messing up the house.

The book had fallen open in her hurry, and she picked it up, curious. The handwriting was untidy, but quite legible. _'Though it would be harder to read if it had been written with a brush…Wonder why someone used a pen,' _Rukia pondered, beginning to read.

_December 25, 1955_

二十五日十二月千九百五十五年

_Happy Christmas!...or something. Byakuya told me that today is some sort of festival in the World of the Living, and people exchange gifts and the like, and celebrate with their family. His explanation was conceived in the best of interests, I know, but a holiday that celebrates family? It reminded me of Rukia, so I don't think I was able to respond with the amount of interest he had expected. But I'll make it up to him later. I'm sure he'll want to go for a walk after he gets back from the barracks, and maybe he'll be able to just relax for the rest of the evening. He would like that. So would I, to be honest._

Rukia gasped, understanding. Someone referring to Nii-sama by his first name like this, and knew about her? _'This has to be Nee-sama's!'_ she thought, enraptured, and continued reading.

She didn't notice the sun setting behind the wall as she sat curled up in the middle of the floor, clutching the diary and reading with a sudden need to know about her sister, a need she never knew she felt so deeply. A small part of her mind told her she shouldn't be reading it at all. Hisana seemed to talk about one of two things at any given time: her husband or her sister. It made her heart ache to see how horrible her older sister had obviously felt about abandoning her in Inuzuri, and she wrote about her guilt often. It didn't take her more than two or three diary entries to realize that any resentment she might have felt towards Hisana had evaporated on the spot. Who could hate her for it? Rukia knew more than anyone how hard it was to live in the slums.

But when she wrote about Nii-sama…well, it had taken her even less time to realize that Hisana had been expecting a baby when she'd written this, and she hadn't told Byakuya. Clearly it had been a child of theirs, but Rukia realized with a heavier heart that she was the reason that she had never told Byakuya about it.

_'So am I the cause of her death? Or does the blame not fall on me because I was the one abandoned to begin with?' _she thought darkly, before shaking her head vigorously, _'No, how can you think that! She clearly wanted to find me so badly, I can't blame her!' _She slapped her cheeks lightly, bringing herself back down to earth.

Rukia ran a hand over the cover. The handwriting had declined towards the end. Hisana had probably been keeping her diary here in secret as she was on her death bed, and no one knew it was here, so she had been the first to find it. What should she do now…? she wondered. The responsible thing to do would be to bring it to Nii-sama…

Her heart suddenly pounded painfully in her chest, a blush heating her cheeks. That would mean admitting that she'd read it. Hisana hadn't exactly kept her feelings for her husband out of her diary (_'And why should she have, it _is _a diary.'_), so reading about Nee-sama's personal life was essentially the same thing as reading about Nii-sama's personal life…

_'No,' _Rukia concluded, standing up and walking out of the room, _'If it's Nee-sama's, it truly belongs to Nii-sama. I should return it to him.'_

* * *

><p><em>'But this is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be!'<em> Rukia internally screamed, feeling all her resolve drain out, leaving her trembling with anxiety as she stood outside the door to Byakuya's office. She hadn't really brought up the topic of Hisana with Byakuya, not yet. Her death obviously still weighed on him – the number of times a week she saw him going off to where her portrait was! But it was true that she had a right to ask questions…didn't she? Hisana had been her sister, after all…

_'And Nii-sama is still my brother,' _she nodded to herself. This was totally within her bounds.

She rapped lightly on the door frame with her knuckles, and took a calming breath when she heard him say, "Come in."

When she opened the door and walked in, sinking formally to her knees, she was startled that Byakuya was already standing up to come sit in front of her, rather than remaining seated at his desk.

"You knew it was me, Nii-sama?" she asked.

"Of course. I was wondering how long you were planning on standing there," he answered smoothly, sitting opposite her.

She blushed.

Neither of them said anything, though she felt his gaze fall to her hands, where she was still clutching the book nervously. Her eyes flitted to his, and she noticed that he looked markedly confused, and perhaps a little nervous himself.

"I…Nii-sama, I was in the room where…well, that is to say…I was thinking about Nee-sama, and I just decided to go to the room where she, erm, passed away…" she started, realizing already how awkward this was. What would he think of her starting with that?! Stupid!

Byakuya nodded slowly, "Yes, I noticed that you have been interested in hearing more about Hisana."

_'The servants told him,' _she realized, shocked. Or perhaps he'd overheard them. Either way, she hadn't done a very good job of keeping her endeavors a secret from him.

"Y-yes, I have been trying to learn a little bit…When I was in that room, I found this underneath a loose _tatami _mat…" she explained, placing the book on the floor and sliding it towards him. She watched with bated breath as he picked it up, flipping through the pages. She wasn't sure if she was imagining the slight shake to his hands or not.

He didn't respond for a few minutes, as his eyes quickly scanned the pages, flipping them almost aggressively, like he couldn't read them fast enough.

A thought occurred to Rukia: had he figured out that Hisana had been pregnant? Or was he just finding out about it now, in front of her eyes? _'That is definitely not a situation I would want to put him in,' _she thought, anxiously watching him absorb the contents of the diary.

"_Ano_…" she started quietly.

Byakuya jumped visibly, looking up. He had apparently forgotten temporarily that he wasn't alone.

Rukia fidgeted where she sat. _'Well, you have his attention. Now what?' _

"I…I'm sorry, Nii-sama, but I did read it. It wasn't my place to read what she wrote without asking, so…I'm sorry," she finished, lamely, as she bowed in apology.

Byakuya didn't respond for a moment, "If she would have wanted anyone to read this," he lifted the diary, "I think it would have been her sister. She would have wanted you to know that she was trying to find you."

A silence fell between them again before Rukia broke it with another apology.

"About that…I, I feel that I must apologize for another thing…if it hadn't been for me, then Nee-sama wouldn't have kept from you that…that she was…" she couldn't finish. Why was it so hard to just talk normally to Byakuya? It wasn't as though he was avoiding her anymore.

She bit her lip, ceasing her desire to continue, but she blinked in confusion when Byakuya shook his head, "Don't apologize. The blame is not on you. Nor is it on her. Such things are never so…simple as that. As for why she didn't tell me…" he paused, and Rukia watched him, wide-eyed – it was quite unlike him to open up like this, "…I understood why she did it, and still do. Though she was not quite as adept at keeping it from me as she seemed to think."

"Then…you knew?" Rukia whispered, watching her laced hands nervously.

"I knew."

_'What would Nee-sama have thought about that?' _Rukia wondered, _'All that worry about how disappointed and sad he would be if he found out. Or is he just not revealing how disappointed he actually is?'_ She heard a small chuckle and looked up in shock, flabbergasted when she saw Byakuya hiding a smirk behind his hand. He fixed his face promptly to his usual expression when he noticed that Rukia had heard him.

"Is something funny, Nii-sama?" she asked tentatively. She had never heard him laugh before, and frankly, it was something she hadn't been sure he was capable of.

"No, it is only…" he raised a hand to cover his mouth again, "She often thought she was one step ahead of me. Although she wasn't always correct in that thought. Even unto the end, it seems," he trailed off, and Rukia looked promptly back down at her hands when Byakuya's hand moved to cover his eyes. She didn't need to further embarrass him by letting him know that she was catching him in the midst of a sure whirlwind of emotions. How rare an occurrence this was, that he should be presented with not only a fresh, new reminder of his wife, but also her dying thoughts.

She heard him move, and moved her intent stare from her hands to see him moving to one of the several bookcases embedded in the walls. He opened one and removed a stack of five or six books, placing them carefully one-by-one into his arms.

He closed the bookcase and brought the books back to where Rukia was sitting, putting them down just in front of her.

"Hisana kept journals from nearly the day she arrived here. If you do not wish to read them, you need not, but if you were curious to learn about her…then there is no one better to tell you about Hisana than herself." He concluded. Rukia pointedly ignored the now-red rims around his eyes, but she couldn't help smiling, nor could she help keeping that smile from growing wider. She bowed deeper than before, "Thank you so much, Nii-sama!"

He nodded, and Rukia was much mistaken if there wasn't a half-smile on his own face. She leaned forward to pull the stack into her arms, and rose to leave. She paused on the threshold, looking back – Byakuya was already back in front of his desk, Hisana's last diary resting on the end.

"Nii-sama?"

Byakuya turned his head slightly, letting her know he was listening.

"Would it…would it be alright if I visited Nee-sama from time to time? Her picture, I mean," she asked hesitantly.

"…She would like that."

Rukia beamed, bowing again, though he couldn't see her, and half-ran back to her room. She was ready to have a nice, long overdue conversation with her sister.


End file.
